Marriage ( No return! No exchange Policy) Did I choose...wrongly?

If you think that way then why you are still living with him? Maybe you will say because you love him and you are married. Do you have kid/s? What will be the future of your kids if you are the only one earning for your living. But if you are earning good and enough for the whole family then you are great. Have you ever ask your husband to work for the family, or have you ever ask him to look for a job? Is it his choice to stay at home and become the housekeeper? If you really love him and you think you can handle everything- then keep on. Stay with him and be the head of the family. If you ask me, as long as he is doing all the houseworks, taking care of the kids and remain faithful as a loving husband- then it's fine. Maybe he is a jobless- but he does his part and love you for taking care of you, your kids and the house.

You met your present husband and at that time he was worth figting for. I think that was a good, brave thing. Why? Because you have to live your own life and it's you who has to live with your partner not your parents, family or friends. It's clear to me you, but also your husband, have had a hard time. It is also clear to me your parents/family did not respect you and still are not. It should be clear to them too that they don't need to live with him, love him or spend their whole life with him. By there behaviour they gave you plus your husband an extra hard time all these years, years full of stress. I do believe this all effected your husband plus his behaviour as well. Be honest.. would you work hard if your in-laws would call you names? Would you be motivated year after year to prove the opposite? You would not, you would give up since there is no respect, no trust, only kicking down. And now.. after all this time your parents get what they want. Even you turned your back to him, you stabb your husband in his back. Your parents want you to say they are right. I think your husband deserves someone who loves him. Not someone who finds her family/parents plus what they say way more important as building a life with him. You did not choose the wrong man but you did choose the wrong way to make it all work out, although you were strong at the start. Strong enough to show your love for him, to leave, to get married secretely, you did not do that with your heart at all but with your brains. There is nothing wrong with being the head of the family, most women world wide are already since ages. You also took that task on your shoulders yourself from the very start because you wanted to prove your parents they are wrong. This marriage does work. That way you pushed your husband aside, you teached him there is no need for him to do anyting since you are in charge. So why should he be the head of the family now?

For what you have described about your husband I could say, you have picked the wrong man for you. My guess is, you have not known your partner very well, before you decided to marry him. I think, you should talk to him about his responsibilities. The husband, being a man is considered the head of the family. You should explained him also what you want from him, and that is to fulfill his duties as head of your family.

I think it is unbelievable that in a family a man just depend on a woman,so sometimes the old saying will always make sense"Those who won't take their elder's advice will suffer losses".Firstly in this case I think you need to have a long and deep talk with your husband and solve this problem together.

Yes you may have made the wrong decision, but try to live with it. do you have kids? are you renting or buying? if you broke up would you have to go home and live with your parents. that would be amiserable life. if he is good to you and not abusive that is alot in his favor. some times the more agressive aguy the meaner he is. if he doesnt wantto go get a job, try to get him to do some work at home things, that willbring in alittle money and give himsome self esteesm good luck

Try talking to him. If he still won't change his ways and if you really had enough of him doing nothing then leave him. That's why there's a 'separation' word so that we can use it.

When we love a person, we are blinded with the other traits that people see. Coz what we often use is our heart. Sad to say, but not all relationships end up positively. I do not want to say that you made a wrong decision coz you felt you love one another and that being with him is the best thing to do. If you think that your marriage is going nowhere, talk to your husband about it. Maybe he can be enlightened after.

If you think you have made the wrong decision, then if you are in the place where there is divorce why not file one? If you're in the Philippines like me, then you have to stick to what you have right now. We have no divorce here. That's the irony of it. I guess you have chosen the right person. You love him. Maybe it just needed a little adjustment on your part and your husband. I could not say more, I'm also confused.

Try working it out first. Have you talked him about some adjustments that he should make? There is no wrong choice. I believe there is only good and better choices. Try seeing the good in him. Reflect on the things and his characteristics that made you fall for him. Although I am not married, I think that in every relationship, open communication is a necessity. Good luck on your married life. I hope that you two will work it out.