Hard headed or just pride...
By asdomencil
@asdomencil (4265)
Philippines
October 26, 2012 6:53pm CST
Sometimes, there are instances that we are being hurt by others not only
physically, sometimes verbally. Even we are the one that has been "damaged" but if you are really willing to settle the misunderstanding, we are the one that will initiate the move to fix the problem. However, there are other person that keep in mind that they are the one that was being hurt and they should not be the one to initiate settlement. Some are just hard headed and keeps on explaining their side without hearing the side of others. Some are just afraid to swallow their pride.
I just remember a biblical passage (I forgot the verse) saying that if you are the one being hurt, be the one to let down and approach the person to fix the problem. If you cannot do it by yourself, try to ask others to be with you in talking with the person.
Good day and have a nice weekend!
1 person likes this
7 responses
@romzee (937)
• Philippines
28 Oct 12
People have peculiar ways to settle their differences.
There are people who are easy to forgive those who hurts them.
Some other takes years to forgive.
Yes, you're right pride play a key role here because pride give us dignity.
We need dignity because we want our respect.
You can't force your office mates to reconcile, actually you have no right at all.
What you can only do is to persuade or to advice and nothing more.
You know, I am thinking that you are the hard headed one, 
LOL.
Peace and a pleasant day to you!
There are people who are easy to forgive those who hurts them.
Some other takes years to forgive.
Yes, you're right pride play a key role here because pride give us dignity.
We need dignity because we want our respect.
You can't force your office mates to reconcile, actually you have no right at all.
What you can only do is to persuade or to advice and nothing more.
You know, I am thinking that you are the hard headed one, LOL.
Peace and a pleasant day to you!@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
You are right, we just keep on giving advice and some words to think of especially now that the Christmas Season in fast approaching.
Am I the hard headed one? I think so. LOL...
Good day too.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
We are still hoping for this one.I will also try to talk to one of our colleagues since he wa under my supervision.
1 person likes this
Well, let hope and pray that the spirit of the coming festivity diffuse the tension that build up between them and the spirit of giving and forgiving enters their 
heart.
Let's hope for the best.
A good day ahead of you.
Ciao !
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
27 Oct 12
Great post, means alot to read something close to someones heart. I wish youd post more like this. Havea great day there.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
I'll try to post such discussions. Most of the discussions I made is just those that popped in my mind and sometimes, got reflection on it.
@AgentGulaman (3546)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
Yeah, some individuals are really stubborn or close minded. However, there is a technique to dealing with them. Never to approach them in head on collision. That is don't argue with them. It will only makes things worse. Them being stubborn or closed minded is brought upon their emotional side. Reasoning won't be heard if the other person is clouded in emotions. Give time to make them settled with their emotions then bring out the discussion once again. Always remember to stay away from triggering emotions like anger. No problem will be solve if we let our emotions get us caught. i have tried this one while I am working and it does work. You will be surprised on how people will respond after the tension or the emotions subsided already.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I don't think time can still be used as a factor in settling the problem. Like I said in one of the comments, the incident happened almost a month ago and until now, one of our colleagues have the same reason for not approaching the other. She is really close minded that she was the one being hurt so she has to wait for the other party to approach and ask sorry for what they did.
@echoforever (5180)
• United States
27 Oct 12
This is a good philosophy from the Bible. But what I like to say or do is - if it is relevant, say that, both either had a valid reasoning or both are hurt, to let the situation go. When butting heads and going in circles some times this is the only way to be.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
Sometimes, it is better to talk the conflicts personally to settle any misunderstanding. Having a normal talk with someone you had misunderstanding with is really needed to hear both sides.
@STOUTjodee (3670)
• United States
27 Oct 12
I'd like to say I try to be the better person to be the first person to want to settle an argument. Now when it comes to name calling or threats, I will forgive but it will take time for me to speak to this person, but then I will still try to tell them how they hurt my feelings. Then that way hopefully we can come to a mutual understanding.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I think that is one of the best thing we do, to talk to them and tell them your feelings. In case of some threats, better to talk to them with colleagues so he can help you explain and understand both sides.
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
27 Oct 12
The reason can be both hard headed news and pride that prevents someone from going forward to initiate the fixing of whatever the problem is. Sometimes, people also need some time to cool down and be calm in order for them to think things rationally and do what is right. Sometimes, the pain in their hearts is too much that they just need a few moments to collect themselves and let the pain ease up a bit. I always try my best to make sure that I don't go to bed knowing that I have offended someone, or vice versa. Of course, I do admit that I tend to also prolong it simply because it still hurts me to talk to that person. That doesn't mean I am closing all doors for a reconciliation. I just need some space for a while.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
You are right, we should be calm down before having a talk with someone.
I just started this discussion because about a month a go, two of my colleagues have this misudertanding that until now they don't talk to each other, the other day, we asked one of them and she is really close-minded that she doesn't not the one who had a mistake but the other. We keep on saying her that if you are really open to fix it, why not try to initiate it. Every suggestion we made, she has a reason why she will not do it. Hard headed or just doesn't want to step down of her pride?
@Raine38 (12387)
• United States
27 Oct 12
The reason can be both hard headedness and pride that prevents someone from going forward to initiate the fixing of whatever the problem is. Sometimes, people also need some time to cool down and be calm in order for them to think things rationally and do what is right. Sometimes, the pain in their hearts is too much that they just need a few moments to collect themselves and let the pain ease up a bit. I always try my best to make sure that I don't go to bed knowing that I have offended someone, or vice versa. Of course, I do admit that I tend to also prolong it simply because it still hurts me to talk to that person. That doesn't mean I am closing all doors for a reconciliation. I just need some space for a while.
