Do you rephrase words before saying it to others to avoid hurting them?

Philippines
October 30, 2012 1:25am CST
A pleasant day Fellow Mylotters, Different people have different attitudes. And this is the reason why others talked tactlessly and others talked softly. But the matter is, there are times, we didn't mean anything, we are just only explaining our side and airing our concern. But due to some reason, we have tactlessly say words that causes pains to other. In this regard, do you tend to rephrase words before saying it to your fellow? Or just bluntly saying those words without editing or rephrasing it. Thus sometimes, it is not your intention to hurt others feelings but due to the words that you have said, his/her feelings was hurt.
2 people like this
33 responses
@dpk262006 (56769)
• Delhi, India
21 Nov 12
I try to use appropriate words even if I am upset with something or someone. I know if I stay pinching words it will surely hurt the other person and will in turn make her/him angry. I try to measure my words before I speak but sometimes I fail to control myself.
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
saying appropriate words is the right thing to do. however, if you are in the middle of the not so good mood, it is quite a difficult thing to do. nevertheless, you are really that patient in everything.
@dpk262006 (56769)
• Delhi, India
1 Dec 12
I try my best to be patient in every thing.
• Philippines
30 Oct 12
I do practice this and sometimes, I even try to add a positive message. Many people that I know are really sensitive to some topics. I think and I want to believe that they learned their lesson enough from their experience. There's no need to rub the salt to eh wound. I guess sin a way, it's a way of consoling people. However, sometimes, I do get blunt for people who really don't get it. Bluntness is a way for them to wake up and smell the roses. In these situations, I am very tactless because some people are very narrow-minded view of the situation. You try to be objective but you get frustrated since they cannot easily grasp the idea.
@flygrl (15)
31 Oct 12
i think experience more important than learn the lesson. many people study from their experience to survive. i don't know why it could it happen but it is true.
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
Yes. I always rephrase it to avoid hurting someone. Though the meaning is still the same but rephrasing could at least not embarrass or hurt someone that bad. I'm not the direct type of person because for me, when saying something bad could probably lead to fight. I hate fighting and I hate it when someone is angry with me. All those bad things can be settled in a good way.
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
precisely. so it is really good to rephrase those irritating words before throwing it out. or else, a fight will arise. very well said, sinnedsejatnom.
@Sindelle (830)
• United States
30 Oct 12
Whenever possible I like to avoid hurting someones feelings. With that being said I have no problem rephrasing something rather then making someone else upset.
• Philippines
30 Oct 12
Absolutely. Better to do a bit of rephrasing rather than be a cause of hurting someone.
@asliah (11144)
• Philippines
27 Nov 12
hi, yes,i do that especially when the person that i need to talk is very sensitive,so that i usually rephrase words before i will say it to the person to avoid hurting them or the misinterpretation of my words or my message.we should always be careful to the words we tell.
@lumenmom (1995)
• United States
31 Oct 12
I always try to say things in a way to avoid hurting feelings. The only time I will not do this is if I am dealing with a person who is blatantly rude in how they say things and even then i will give them a few chances before I decide to be more blunt with them. I think people's feelings are more important than my need to say something harsh.
@Mattxu (62)
• China
31 Oct 12
I should say that what troubles you may be a problem to many people. They are all virtuous people and they don't want to hurt anyone, but at the same time they also don't want to make a concession to anyone. So we need to coordinate the relationship between the two demons. In my opinion, we need to express our idea with soft tone. Because our aim is expressing your view, you have the responsibility to make others feel relax. If you really need to express your view with a tactless tone, just do it. Concession can not be tolerated.
@Shavkat (76552)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
I don't for some members, but I don't need to rephrase my statements. If it happens, then I am not speaking out of my real intentions.
@gaiza12 (4885)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
Texts doesn't really have feelings therefore sometimes what we mean to say are given a different meaning by other who gets to read it. That is why as much as possible I use simple words that everybody could understand. We also know that we are of different races here and English is not everyone's first languages. We mean to say something and others take it differently. We really have to be careful sometimes with the words we use so as not to offend anybody.
@ladygator (3468)
• United States
31 Oct 12
I make a good amount of effort to make sure I dont come across rude or mean to others. its important for me to not hurt peoples feelings. I also will rephrase what I post to others as that can be taken wrong also.
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
Sometimes I do, but most times I don't. I don't rephrase my thoughts specially if it's for hubby co's other people would say nice about him and I need to balance things reasons I do it in a more harsh way. Specially when it's about the he did for everyone to see or hear. He wants my thoughts about him and he also doesn't like to hear it but since he knows that I'm just saying my views about it... he painfully listen to it. hahaha. But I do commend hubby for the good things he did while other people say something not good about it. I don't mind being tactless specially if it's for the good of others. Sometime people need to hear it in a more painful way so that they'll learn to do it the better way. But a person needs to be wise in commenting tactlessly as well. They need to know where and when to do it. Those people who does it without giving some thoughts is definitely unwise. I think it's okay to be hurt too because with it we will learn to examine our life and if we don't like to be commented that way we will change what we do unless we are stubborn enough to not understand what they meant and just embrace the hurtful comment every time.
@xiejiaotu (217)
• Malaysia
31 Oct 12
yea, i do meet a lot of this kind of situation, most of the time i do not wish to hurt people but i don't wan to lie about the truth so in the end still hurting people. i really hate this. some time i tried to rephrase the sentence but fail to do so and in the end still hurting them even the word had been rephrase. there are also times i didn't expect my words will hurt people and never notice what i had done. problems like this occur make me lost some of the friends and make them try avoid talking to me. it is a problem but i do not know how to fix it. well, did anyone have tips o dealing with this?
• China
31 Oct 12
When I was a teenager I always just saying bluntly without editing or rephrasing,and may be I had hurts somebodies though I did not mean to.But now I had changed myself because I think as a adult we should take the responsibility for what I am saying,there is no excuse that a adult people can just say something and neglect others' concern.
• Indonesia
31 Oct 12
Sometime although we have chose our words carefully, people still get offended with our words. That is because people have different characters and different cultures, so we also need to know the character of the person before say something to the person. That's right, sometime we don't mean to hurt other feeling or when we try to help the person they get offended because they think we are being rude to them. This is often happen when we try helping other people and their ego just too high to accept it.
@missjahn (4577)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
yes i do rephrasing words sometimes. well depends on a situation as to consider a factor to it. but if am all pissed off and as in so angry for a reason, all kindness will flared away and that time what is inside my feelings will be expressed even deeply aware that would hurt other person. and that is for intentional moves of mine. well, as far as i am concerned, i tried not to lost my temper because there would be no good output after saying a words wrongly.
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
We actually need to do this - I need to do this more often. But sadly, there are times when I can't just stop myself from blurting out words or statements that I regret after. Worst is the fact that I don't stop myself from saying them to the people I love. I watch my tact when I talk to strangers or acquaintances, yet I can't help but wonder why I can't do the same with the people I am close with - most especially those that I love. Indeed, "Familiarity breeds contempt" is true. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
@allknowing (84237)
• India
31 Oct 12
If I do not do that, I would be left with none as my friends, as the first words that come to mind if delivered hell will break loose!
@Tongcv (172)
• China
31 Oct 12
Sometimes we speak to the people in order not to burt tactful,but sometimes you speak politely to others,that people do not appreciate also acrimony.
@CarlHalling (3629)
• United Kingdom
31 Oct 12
Tact... - ...is more than surface superficial posturing elegance as portrayed here: it's an attitude of self-control in speech towards others, born of consideration.
Yes; I think it's fair to say I choose my words quite carefully when speaking with outers, especially if I don't know them well, and that I speak tactfully to others, because I hate hurting or upsetting or offending people, especially if they don't deserve it, it can make me feel sick to the soul afterwards. At least I hope I am right in saying this. However, if angered, I can be blunt, although I can regret this too, especially if I say something hurtful. In general, I think it's best to avoid hurtful speech, as it can permanently damage a relationship. Words have such power. Sometimes it's best to just bite the tongue and exercise self-control.
@STOUTjodee (3510)
• United States
30 Oct 12
I try to pick the right words out before I speak, but then when I speak them I'm adding phrases like "I don't mean to offend you" or "This may sound rude/crude, but.." So I try not to hurt anyone's feelings on purpose, but some times they do get hurt, because they take the wording wrong.