Ridiculous Relationship Advice

@GreenMoo (11834)
November 14, 2012 10:17am CST
I just finished a book about marriage (yes, another Kindle freebie!) and it reminded me of the funniest piece of relationship advice I ever heard. I can't remember where I heard it now, but it was one of those books that suggests that the way to a happy relationship is a subservient woman (see, it's funny already!). Anyway,this book's advice to keep your man from straying was to start each day by giving him HALF an oral experience. Just half. The idea was that he would then spend the rest of the day looking forward to seeing you and receiving the other half! I'm imagining a train carriage full of frustrated blokes all heading off to the office in the morning! I think they'd be more likely to jump the nearest willing female than spend the day pining for you if you tried that trick once too often. Have you heard any ridiculous relationship advice?
7 people like this
14 responses
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
14 Nov 12
Wow who is the idiot that wrote that? I have heard some rediculous things...but right now I am not thinking of them....but yours must take the cake for most ridiculous!
2 people like this
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
I imagine there's a lot of blokes who'd refuse to go to work till you finished off ...
• Philippines
14 Nov 12
Oh, that's really a funny advice. It's like making your man wanting you. What if he met an attractive, liberated woman? I guess he won't go home anymore. He'd take her out first. LOL. Well, I hope our men are behaving. If they really love us, they will think of us and our feelings before they make any foolish stuffs. Thanks for sharing and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
I think he'd just get irritated with you if you tried it. Can you imagine?!
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
you might forget in the meantime! that would just be cruelty!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
If I will do that, he'll wait for me for a few days before I can get back to him. If I'll do it on Monday, the next time he'll see me is on Saturday. He will be very pissed for sure. LOL. I am away on weekdays.
• New Zealand
14 Nov 12
what a stupid book.Why did you waste your time reading it.You have already written what will happen if you follow the book tip.there wasn't a single good one huh???
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
I like reading peculiar stuff sometimes. It doesn't mean I have to follow the advice!
@p1kef1sh (45681)
14 Nov 12
Does that mean only speak half a sentence to him? I have often only heard half of what I have been told allegedly.....
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45226)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
14 Nov 12
Half a kiss, maybe? Or just on one lip?
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
P1kef1sh, you're way ahead of my dearly beloved. He doesn't hear most of what he's told. Maybe he's too busy wondering what happened to the other half .....
1 person likes this
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
14 Nov 12
This is just cruel. Let alone that most men would not behave like that: -go and find another girl to finish, as they are aroused -sulk all day and be angry because they think it's cruel to make them aroused and then leave... No guys like teases in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
Exactly! Can you imagine a workplace full of frustrated husbands? Heaven help the poor women who work there!
@robspeakman (1700)
14 Nov 12
Half an oral experience? do we get to choose which half? I will have the second half please
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
Spectacular!
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
14 Nov 12
All I can say is the world is full of idiots! 'Scuse my french, but I just had to say that.. Imagine! I hope this person did not make a lot of money with that book!
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
People have the weirdest ideas! I'd love to know if the author actually tested her own advice.
@BarBaraPrz (45226)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
14 Nov 12
Better to follow a puppy training manual...
@katsmeow1213 (28719)
• United States
14 Nov 12
Ha! Exactly what I was thinking.. that would get him to stray faster, not keep him interested in you! Hmm.. funny relationship advice? My foster mom told me not to get married. I already had 3 children (one from a previous relationship, then the twins with my husband) when we started thinking about getting married. My foster mom said go ahead and live with him, have his kids, whatever I wanted.. but just don't get married as that would complicate things should I ever decide to leave. It's not because she didn't like him.. she'd just given up on the idea of marriage. She'd been divorced twice and I think she figured men were all the same. She did like my husband a lot though.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
Kids aren't complicated enough? Once you've got kids with someone, things like property fade into insignificance if it all goes wrong.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
14 Nov 12
Yes, this one you just posted. Half an oral? Really? And this came from a book? Oh, well, to each his own, I guess.
@GreenMoo (11834)
14 Nov 12
Still makes me giggle now, and I heard it ages ago.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Nov 12
The heck??!! Stupid relationship advice indeed. It works for some men, but in this one, the woman is nothing more than s=x slave! Subservient? Are they kidding? I'd bash that author any day! No respect at all! The best way to be together is to always treat each other equal, because they are truly equal. Sure, the half thing can be a trick one can use, but only use it willingly and for the woman's pleasure too, not just the man's. It's not really a good way to keep him. it won't always work. A woman has to be creative and resourceful and herself. She must have dignity, she gives respect and deserve respect in return. I did get some bad relationship advice from people at work, in my previous job. I don't know if they were serious though. I told them my BF would be living in another country in the future, so my colleagues replied that I need an assurance that he'll come back for me. They say I let myself get pregnant so that he'd sure to come back. I mean, what the??? I was shocked to hear that. The thought never even crossed my mind. I sure hope they were kidding, because that was really dumb advice and I don't want to label them dumb. Thank you for this discussion, the advice here is really funny.
@GreenMoo (11834)
21 Nov 12
I truly hope they weren't serious, because that really would be irresponsible.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
15 Nov 12
so it will just be like "ahh, ok?" wow. I never heard of this. when will be the other half be received? the next day? ahhh next week? sounds like cute to me.. hmmmmm... and yes ridiculous, indeed.
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
Dunno. Perhaps a voucher could be issued, like a coat check ticket, for the second half.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
16 Nov 12
LOL. ration method? ha ha ha. then hubby should not lose any of these vouchers or tickets. then otherwise second half. Or, the hubby should check the vouchers or tickets his wife collected, who knows there might be some extras not from him. LOL
• United States
15 Nov 12
Well, the sad part is that someone out there is going to believe this ridiculousness.
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
You never know, it might be just what some couples have been missing ....
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
here is a question for you guys, do you believe in using the rod to discipline a child?
@GreenMoo (11834)
15 Nov 12
Not quite sure how that relates to be honest. Pretty ridiculous advice, granted, if you're looking to build a relationship with your child though.