Is it easy to be parent?
By grace147
@grace147 (223)
Philippines
November 14, 2012 9:52pm CST
This is a question from my brother who recently got married and soon to be expecting a baby. A question that is so simple to understand yet so hard to comprehend and explain. I was taken a back and it made me a second thought on how and what to answer to him. Before i answered, i re evaluated myself first if im qualified or worthy to answer him. Am I a good parent? to answer the question entails a lot of courage. The answer is dependent on what kind of parent we are. Others may say its easy to be parent because maybe they were never a "true parent" to their children after all. For me and until now its not easy to be a parent. I applied different technique like "trial and error", "a little of everything" and "not too tight and not to loose" approach just to capture and understand my growing child. With the environment that we have now- parents should be hands on. There is no specific recipe nor guidelines or steps to follow on how to be a parent. Its a come what may basis and a continuous process. A lifetime adjustment. As a parent all we have to do is to prepare ourselves to be a good listener, a good provider, a friend, an understanding enemy and most of all having an open mind and heart.
1 person likes this
15 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
You have stated it well, grace. Even though how much we read on parenting books and symposiums on how to become a good parent, still, the everyday experience are the real lessons we learn. It is never easy to be a parent no matter how behaved or diligent your kids might have become. Because as a child grows up, they are faced with different challenges that they wouldn't know how to deal with and they will call on to their parents to ask help from them. We do not stop being a parent to our child even if he/she reaches 50 or 60.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
We try to become the best parents possible to our kids and hope that they would also be the same towards their own children. We know that other than us, parents, the community can also be part of how our kids grow up into. And so, by being by their sides as much as we can, we are able to guide them and steer them away from all the "negative elements" that may interfere with their life.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
hi jenny1015,
thanks again for the response. yah, true again - being a parent is more like taking a real life practical exam and there should be no room for error because its the life our kids we are dealing with. They said that what kind of person our child/ren is/are is a reflective of what kind of parent we are. In this case, giving too much love and attention or too little to our children is not good then. what do you think?
have a nice day.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
I am not a parent and maybe I am not the right person to be answering this kind of question but one thing I am particularly certain is it definitely is not easier. I mean, how can more responsibility and tasks, and perhaps problems be easier. That's probably just common sense, right?
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
Living a life with positive views on almost everything is really a good choice of lifestyle. It helps you move forward no matter what, and like what you have just mentioned there is a way to accomplish a task and solution to every problem, but does that really answer the original question? Well, I just know that prevention is better than cure, so in this case unless you are truly ready to have new responsibilities as a parent, you would be better off developing your life without this new responsibilities yet.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
hi,
for me i think its not easy to be a parents because you will have many responsibilities in your life,responsibility in your partner and to your child,and being a parent you should also mold your child to be a good person.being a parent will should always take care his/her family no matter what happen.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
hi asliah, thank you for responding. You are absolutely right - nothing is easy in this world - everything we want by heart must be worked for under God's guidance. Before when accomplishing a biodata always a portion there being asked is - mother's occupation , i always answer "plain housewife". Now i realized, and im a mother now - its not at all "so plain" to be a housewife. So hard.and looking back i cant imagine how my mother was able to manage and raised us well -8 siblings--by herself.
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
I am a new parent too. and i can tell that it is very hard to be one. There are lots of adjustment to be made.physically and mentally you must be prepared no matter what. Being a parent is a lifetime responsibility.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
hi jeztrose, congrats for being a new parent and im sure you will be a good parent to your chil/children. Indeed its a very challenging role to raise a child. The only weapon that we have is we must pray to God all the time for His guidance. He is our ultimate source and strength for we are only God's instrument.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
I can easily answer that --- it's NOT!
It's never easy to be a parent, especially for new parents like myself. I now have 2 daughters, and they both demand of my time and attention. I have been a career woman for some time, and now I've left allt hat to be with them. I am learning to be a better parent everyday, and along with it, are sacrifices. I can't do just whatever I want whenever I like. It all has to be in line with the kids' schedule.
But, I love this job more than what I have achieved in the corporate world.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
hi jureathome,
thank you for the sharing, and i can sincerely relate to you since i have experienced it too. Being a parent is a "calling" from God and a mission to raise our kids well and mold them to be a good man in the society. For as long as our kids grows to be a full-filled person, happy and loved and can share love in return to others - then its our medal of parenthood already.
@youless (112100)
• Guangzhou, China
15 Nov 12
If you ask me what is the most difficult job in the world, then I can tell you it is the parent. You have to sacrifice a lot when you are a parent. Everything will have a big change and you have to be responsible to it all the time. You even have to make a good example for your children. And you have to be patient to it. In brief, it is totally not easy.
@JamesKYTan (1605)
• Malaysia
15 Nov 12
You are truly a good parent of this modern times. You
have put yourself in the right attitude and willing to
learn as you and your child grow. I play my part as
a parent as best as I could but I have a big age gap
with my son. He is the IT savvy child of this age where
by I am not so technology savvy 
At times
my son is the one who teach me. So I teach him what I know
and he teaches me what I need to learn. So we are like friends.
At times
my son is the one who teach me. So I teach him what I know
and he teaches me what I need to learn. So we are like friends.@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
hi jamesKY Tan,
thanks again for the response, i guess we are on the same boat - lol :), my kid too is IT savvy when im not. Hard to understand sometimes their activity but because we are parents, we need to cope and understand their world otherwise there will be a communication breakdown and this is when gap starts. For me too, its not good to compare what we have before to what they now because time truly changes and different. But what most, no matter how the technology or times changes so fast, the values that we earned from our great grand parents will remain and inculcated to our dear child/ren.
have a nice day.
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
15 Nov 12
Though i am not a parent, i can say that being parent is not at all easy.I have seen and seeing some people who actually sacrifice a lot of their personal life and also professional life too.
yes you are right we have to be parents "good parents" first and no such guidelines to make one as good parent.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
hi prashu228,
to get married is not a rush nor a race, just take your time and in Gods time and will that you will become a parent one day - i am sure you will be a good parent and prepared already. There is no task given to us by God if we are not ready to walk with it just like walking in the part. it is just a matter of believing that we can.
have a nice day.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
15 Nov 12
Being a parent is not easy at all. it is the biggest responsibility in life and we have to start thinking about the baby and not self. It is hard in this expensive world because everything is so so expensive. It is a greatest gift also that one becomes parents. So it is a mix or emotions and yes a positive one.. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.. 
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Hi Riyauro,
thank you for sharing, and your right its not an easy task to be a parent but this is the circle of life - now we are single then tomorrow will be a parent - like is payback time. how we are raise by our parents is how well we do good for our own family. thanks
have a nice day.
@mangtony7451 (479)
•
15 Nov 12
Literally it is really very easy to a parent. Just get married, bear a child or children, presto, you are already a parent.
But the real question does not lie in there. To be a parent demand great responsibilities as well as self sacrifices. That's why I believe, children can never really pay back their parents unless and until they themselves become parents too.
Have a great day.
@Clickston2 (39)
• Kenya
16 Nov 12
Parenting can be easy and fun; just know you're unique and love what you do as a parent. Whenever things seem to be not working well be sure to consult a trusted party; be open to surprises that come in new parenting, embrace them and build on.
@lizlee (208)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
You're right. Being a parent is I think the toughest job in the entire world!
I mean, because you are dealing with your own flesh and blood. So what ever they become, they should've learned it from you.
Parenting doesn't stop even when they grow old and have families of their own. Its your obligation for life.
And another tough thing about parenting is that taking care for one of your child may be not the same for your other child. I don't mean favoritism, what I mean is that for example, the other child is a more difficult child that the other one. So you need to exert more effort to the one who needs you more. Something like that.
There are no textbooks for parenting. Parenting happens real time in different situations and in different places, so books may just have to be guidelines but in reality you need to be prepared for what's coming.
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Hi Lisless,
Thank you for the sharing. It is true that we can not apply the same rules to our children. They have different characteristics, thats why parents has to buckle up to any swing of mood when dealing with kids. Thanks again.
have a nice day.
@mistika1 (82)
• Romania
15 Nov 12
Is so hard to be parent, this word "parent" mean so much, a real parent is hard to be. I have experience, i have kids, mature now, and i ll say that to be parent is the hardest job in this world. Now, when i see my children are mature person, all my efforts are so easy to understand, just because i am happy with and about my kida. Must to be a good person, a good listener, ti have patient, to be hard sometimes, to work a lot, to understand, to be gentel or sometime hard...a parent is so complicated to be, but in same time is the best thng in a person life.
@chrystalia (1208)
• Tucson, Arizona
15 Nov 12
I ask myself this all the time-- since I can't remember being a parent. I have severe retrograde amnesia, so I only found out I had two grown sons when I met them 2 years ago 
.
The younger was raised by me, and is a very mature, responsible good kid. The older was raised by my ex, until my ex disowned him and he came home to me-- they both tell me I was a great Mom. The older one has told me more than once that he wishes he had chosen to stay with me post divorce rather than his dad (having met his dad, I still don't know why I ever married him LOL). The younger one told me I home-schooled, and defended him when his dad caused problems-- they both say they could talk to me about anything, and I was objective, non-judgmental, and when dookie hit the fan I never freaked out or yelled. So I guess I am a good parent. I try to be, anyway. I do a pretty good job listening, being a friend and being an understanding enemy, as you put it. But I still wonder, and when my younger son got a girlfriend with a kid and asked ME for advice, I was stuck. I'm just going to point him this way and say--- WHAT SHE SAID! 
.
The younger was raised by me, and is a very mature, responsible good kid. The older was raised by my ex, until my ex disowned him and he came home to me-- they both tell me I was a great Mom. The older one has told me more than once that he wishes he had chosen to stay with me post divorce rather than his dad (having met his dad, I still don't know why I ever married him LOL). The younger one told me I home-schooled, and defended him when his dad caused problems-- they both say they could talk to me about anything, and I was objective, non-judgmental, and when dookie hit the fan I never freaked out or yelled. So I guess I am a good parent. I try to be, anyway. I do a pretty good job listening, being a friend and being an understanding enemy, as you put it. But I still wonder, and when my younger son got a girlfriend with a kid and asked ME for advice, I was stuck. I'm just going to point him this way and say--- WHAT SHE SAID! 