Use your polite hand...

@sishy7 (27169)
Australia
November 17, 2012 10:07am CST
I saw a friend and his small kid, whom I met for the first time, today at a store. As I was talking to my friend, his son, probably around 5 years old or younger, asked his father if he could offer me some candies he was holding. My friend nodded, and his son opened his left hand full of candies to offer them to me. My friend was like freaking out and said to his son: “no, no, use your polite hand...”. So the kid quickly moved the candies to his right hand before he tried to offer them to me again... I did not even feel offended at all when the kid offered me the first time using his left hand. In fact, I thought he was being extremely polite already about the whole situation. To be honest, I was rather astonished how strongly some people think using your left hand to offer or to give something to others is impolite.
6 people like this
17 responses
@subhojit10 (7375)
• India
17 Nov 12
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. I think whatever that child did touched my heart and i am sure u must also have been moved by his gesture. It was so sweet of that child that even at this age he had this kind of respect for the elders and i am sure we should always embrace the good etiquettes and habits of children so that they become good human beings in the future. I am touched by his gesture and hope our future generation kids inculcate such good habits in them. What say?
2 people like this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
17 Nov 12
It looks like his parents really instil politeness to him.
• Greece
18 Nov 12
This idea of the left hand being 'dirty' is cultural. The reason being that most people are right handed and so use their left hand for intimate cleaning purposes! Hence the expression 'cack handed' - cack being an old word meaning 'excrem*nt' but which has now obtained the meaning of 'awkward' or 'clumsy'. Culturally then a right hand is a clean one and a left hand is a dirty one. A 'right hand man' is a description of a man who is a useful person to have around. Another example which shows how far back these ideas go is found in the word 'sinister' which comes from Latin and means 'left' but has evolved over the years to mean something quite different. It appears that we lefthanders have been dealt a bad hand...
• India
21 Nov 12
@sishy7- Thanks a ton for your response. Yes u are right, his parents are the ones to be given credit for. Look at his gestures and that speaks clearly about his character and how he deals with the elders. I am very happy for that kid and i am sure his parents would instill good teachers and learning in him so that he will become a good human being in the future. What say?
• United States
17 Nov 12
I started out left-handed, and I grew into ambidexterity (which is apparently rather common amongst lefties). I would have been offended by your friend's reaction. I am left-handed and proud of it. That is the hand with which I usually eat, and that is the hand with which I am quite likely to offer someone something.
2 people like this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
17 Nov 12
I was quite surprised by his reaction. I would have never thought that the kid was being impolite by using his left hand. My kids are all right handed; but I know they would still use their left hands at times to pass something to me if the right hand is busy or even just by habit. I've never said anything about that to them. But now I realize if they happen to do that to someone like my friend, they might get scolded or considered as being impolite.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
hi there sishy7, i think this is my first time to hear about polite hand. and as i have read your post, the gesture which is done by the kid the moment he offered you some candy was already polite way. a good post. another information.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
6 Dec 12
That whole incident was a learning process for myself too...
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
I don't know what's with the right hand or left hand. Maybe because we do some things using right hand like when shaking hands, waving goodbyes and waving at the pageant. I have some kind of situation for that. I asked my Mom to buy a rosary bracelet for me and I said I will wear this on my left hand since I am using my right hand for the mouse. She said to put it in my right hand. When I asked her why, she just said, it's not good putting rosaries on the left hand.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
6 Dec 12
That's exactly the same kind of perception...
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
28 Nov 12
Hi, The kid in your discussion is of only 5 years. So it is normal that he offered candies with left hand. But he obeyed his father. It is the responsibility of the parents to teach good manners to their children. the kid was very polite.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
7 Dec 12
Yes, I completely agree with you...
• United States
27 Nov 12
Wow, they take it very seriously! I would have to be careful around them since I am left-handed. I am usually around people from cultures that see the left-hand as dirty, so they find it strange that I use it. A few people have freaked out when I ate something from my left hand, but I have learned to adapt. Now, I use a fork with my left hand (for Western contexts), but I eat with bread or with my hands using my right hand (for Eastern contexts). I have also noticed that in some cultures, it's better to give gifts with both hands. It's a small gesture, but I think it's an extra sign of respect.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
7 Dec 12
Ah, so you have experienced similar situations too... I'm not left-handed, but now I'm more aware that there are cultures that would consider left hand as impolite... When we are handed a gift with both hands by someone, I wonder if the polite thing is to receive it with both hands as well...
• Indonesia
18 Nov 12
In some cultures in the world, something that smells like the left-hand left hand is not considered a good place to be used to give something to someone. Perhaps this is because in some places the clean up (sorry) butt with his left hand after defecation
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
5 Dec 12
I smiled reading "smells like the left-hand"... I don't think the left hand as a smelly thing... But I think I know what you mean...
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
It depends really on the culture of people. If they were from the Arabian countries, they would be offended if one uses the left hand. So, I guess the culture of the father was deeply rooted that's why he's trying to teach his son their ways. Just like in my country, back in the days, it's rude for young ones to not give up their seats to the elders. Though some still do that these days, a lot wouldn't think of giving up their seats. It's sad that the customs and cultures are dying and most are westernized. There are things that should be kept in our ways, not everything should change and if they should, it should be for the better, not the other way around. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
5 Dec 12
Definitely a cultural habit, I agree. My friend is from a South-East Asian country. Apparently he wants to instill the traditional customs on his son who was born here.
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
I'm already old but it's my first time to hear about this polite hand. LOL. I am right-handed so I always use my right hand when offering something. If someone shares me something with his or her left hand, I guess I won't care. Sharing what you have is already showing that you are polite and have some manners. That 5-year-old kid is so cute. Thanks for sharing and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
23 Nov 12
I don't think I'd mind being offered something by someone using a left hand either. But in some cultures, apparently that would be considered impolite. That's probably why the father is really trying to make his son understands that from a very young age.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
18 Nov 12
ya it is very true for sure and one must learn the basic manners of inculcating it and using it quite well always
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
27 Nov 12
Learning basic manners well while we are young will stay as good habit in the long run...
• China
18 Nov 12
It was so kind of you not to mind if the boy used his polite hand,and your friend was also right that he insisted his son should offer you the candies with the right hand though the father's reaction was a little strong.I always think childrens' good life habits are mostly from their parents,so all the parents who have young children must correct the wrong behavings from their children in time.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
27 Nov 12
The father's reaction may seem particularly strong to me as I did not see anything wrong with what the boy did. But now I understand that the father was only trying to instill what they believe is the polite way to behave. Yeah, there is nothing wrong to do that; and in this particular case, his son was not the only one learning at the time...
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
18 Nov 12
oh really? i think it is ok to use left or right hand... i think it is just a rule between the mom and the kid about a polite hand. but it is nice story, right? thank you for your sharing.
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
23 Nov 12
Yeah, apparently with them it is a rule to always mind which hand is polite for such actions. For someone like you or me, it makes no difference and we'd just be happy with the kid's gesture anyway. Are you in Korea now?
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
hmmm.. I didn't know that. But as i read some of the comments here. I now understand why would your friend do that to his son. And as for me, I don't see any difference if you're left handed or left handed as long as you can do normal or ordinary things right? Good thing is that his father wants him to be always polite.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
6 Dec 12
I was initially taken back by my friend's reaction too as I did not expect that. But now I understand why he reacted that way... That little boy was not the only one learning from all that...
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
18 Nov 12
Does it have something to do with custom? Here in Thailand they believed that one should not hand over the money using left hand, too. Because they believed that it is totally disrespect to the King. They believe the left hand is used in the toilet to wash (butt). But it was old time belief. Now I can see some Thais don't really care if you handed the money in left or right. About the kid, such a cute little kid and I am okay also with the father. It's the rule so he just strongly reminded his son about it. Nice one here.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
27 Nov 12
Yes, I think it does have something to do with their traditions. Something that seems normal to me like using a left hand to offer something to others, does not seem as acceptable in their custom. It's always nice to learn about other culture.
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
17 Nov 12
hmm some people just show extreme behavior in some cases. They are very particular about certain things , Like you said in the above case. The kid is so sweet he offered you the Candis by himself, some children wont do that even as they don't like to share their chocolates and other eatables with others. may be his parent want his/her child to be very polite from this age itself.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
18 Nov 12
Yeah, there is nothing wrong to instil good manners from young age. It's obvious to me that my friend wants that for his son. I'm just surprised offering something to someone politely using your left hand is not considered polite enough.
1 person likes this
• India
18 Nov 12
For me the will and intention of the person giving me something is more important than what hand he/she uses to give it to me. But then again, some parent want their children to be prefect. Perfect in every aspect, meaningful or meaningless. The fact that the kid was willing to share his candies is more appreciable than what hand he uses to share them. Some people fail to see the greater picture, I guess. Good day!
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
23 Nov 12
I have to agree with those who think this could be a cultural habit. Some really feel strongly that left hand should not be used for certain actions. Some go into great length to change their kids if they see a tendency of them being left handed.
@meowchie (992)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
Oh I have never heard of this before...just now O.o I think, initial hand to reach/give would be the hand you commonly use.. So in an instant, unintentionally the left hand moves first than the right! =D haha Well just my point of view :) I am a right hand person too.. Eat with spoon on right, waves with my right, write with my right.. :D The kid maybe a lefter.. I assume =) So if it's polite or impolite, for me I won't see it that way.. The gesture of giving was already outstanding hehe =)
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
18 Nov 12
I completely agree with you... Came to think of it, perhaps the father really was only trying to teach his son to use his right hand more. Maybe he sees the tendency of his son being left-handed; so he's trying to change that as much as he could and referring to the left hand as 'impolite' to use to his son. By the way, you're still using manual emoticons instead of myLot's Seems that you're more comfortable that way, perhaps?