How to judge people?
November 20, 2012 10:44pm CST
I find it very confusing and difficult to judge people initially.It becomes almost impossible to get them if they are sugar coated and honey mouthed! After facing many setbacks now I think I do not rate a person immediately but the disadvantage of it is that now I suspect everyone I meet first.It is good and bad in the same time.Being in Administration and PR field its is my job to meet and interact people quite often.Sometimes I hurt people unknowingly because of my recent suspecting nature but how can I help it? This is what I learned from most of my past experiences.I won't say that all were bad or cunning in my past but yes most of them were double faced ,hollow and manipulative but very successful. What are the indication and parameters to judge people? How to be rude or rather straight forward if we get to know about their real wrong character especially if they can effect your business or sometimes our personal life which is no doubt very dangerous?
1 person likes this
21 Nov 12
I'm not good at judging people. We don't know a person unless that person live with us for a long time. There's nothing that I can contribute to this discussion however, this can also help me. Thanks for starting this discussion as I will just read the responses in order that I also get ideas regarding this matter.
21 Nov 12
Thanks to all of you for responding and sharing.Me too want to know from people around the world that do many of us face the same ! It reminded me the back stabbing from my relatives which I have accepted as very normal. This is out of jealousy and at least we are aware that they are dangerous. "AS WE SAY THAT ONE CAN NOT CHOOSE RELATIVES BUT FRIENDs" I am much worried and uncertain about the 'so called friends' be it professional or personal.Betrayal in this kind of relation leaves you devastated.We innocently or by trusting them share lot of profession things/secrets or personal matters to them and when this backfires..... you are nowhere..! Always its not possible to avoid them as they form a very strong standing....so you have to bear them cautiously.But at the same time you start trusting some one else to face(shoulders to cry despite how much strong or professional I may be! ) the so called known enemy and to your surprise that friend of yours turns into your biggest 'Foe'. Again we fall prey to another disaster and fail in judging people. I will share in my next post few of my worst personal cases to enlighten my point after all the above general discussion.I hope that will help and also looking forward to be joined by your personal examples.Keep joining!!!
21 Nov 12
It is really difficult to judge I realize. I did a lot as a teenager, I thought I knew it all and was very quickly to judge but then life surprised me, there were even good intentions in bad actions and I also made SOOO many mistakes and never meant if it did hurt someone so it's been 3 years or so that I'm actually trying to really repress me when I start to judge, I tell my self mentally always: 'Who do you think you are to judge him/her?' LOL! , soon I hear my inner answer that I'm not better than anymore, that the person might have had a good intention or that in their place I could have done terribly worse.
21 Nov 12
WELCOME TO MYLOT.Like you I find it difficult to judge people when I see them for the first time.I am a guy who had been stabbed at the back by his own relatives,especially by his step brothers who were 'sugar coated' and 'honey mouthed.'From my experiences I have learned that I should not trust anybody.I don't harbor any preassumptions about them,but I don't trust them either.I never suspect them,but trust them only after dealing with them for a long time.I try to judge them by their minutest activities and their body language and this has helped me.I have decided that I won't render myself vulnerable to back stabbing and cheating any longer.
21 Nov 12
i was hurt and betrayed by my own relatives also but it does not cause me for being judgmental to others.when i meet a person i would not judge them by their looks or by the way they talk,if their ways doesn't fit mine so be it.if i dont like what they are doing,i would just walk away and try not have further encounters with them.i never judge people but i dont trust so easily.
• United States
21 Nov 12
I believe or try to be just completely straight forward with people I meet or anyone I interact with. I try to leave no stipulation and room for them to believe they can easily persuade or use me in some way. Although I try not to ever judge anyone because I believe in the bible it says some where to "judge thee not,or be judged" or something like that. I simply just observe, ask questions that may arise and go off of a persons actions. You can look at it as like profiling somebody and that can be done by mere observation of actions,words they use,personality or other characteristics. I do know though that when it may come to hurting your business or personal life, really know the person before it gets to that.
21 Nov 12
If I may say. We don't need to judge other people, that's what I recently learned in my Behavioral Analysis subject. We may find some "not so good traits" about others, but that is because we all are unique, no two persons are the same. We may find other people annoying just because we do different things, we want different things. Our professor said, "We have different levels of satisfaction and by that we can't judge them." If we keep on judging other people, it becomes a hobby. All you wait is what they are going to do, you forget noticing other things, beautiful things. At the end of the day, we are the ones who'll get stressed out. If we think some are two-faced, so what, it's not our loss. We just need to care for our own things. Doing the right things. Let's be true to ourselves and ask God's guidance in everything. By that, we'll start noticing what makes us glow, the little miracles and have peace of mind.