the wedding is off

United States
November 25, 2012 7:54am CST
Well mylotters. The wedding is called off by my fiancée he posted it all on Facebook about I'm not a. Real woman and don't have hisback because I wouldnt CALL his baby mama to try and get his daughter after the girl said it's not his baby so we get into a argument and I walks off to advoid it and he come behind me talking trash.so I just keep walking next thing I know he calling my phone saying I'm all types of names so I just ignore it So then I go on his Facebook page cause we have each other password Tell me why this man talking bout me like I'm nothing to him and he also was giving out his number to everyone.so now he says this fake wedding is off and now I'm really hurt because I'm like if it was fake then you should have told me before I spent all my money on this stuff .so now this morning after him lying giving his num out and going to the club he telling me o I'm your future husband I'm like wtf man make your mind up ugh mylotters I love this man no I'm not perfect but I feel like I'm not meant to be happy and everything I touch gets messed up.I said to myself god why are you punishing me it's so bad till at times I feel everyone will be better off without me so yes the wedding is off
1 person likes this
18 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
25 Nov 12
Ohh sorry to hear this. but I think you have to rethink if you really love this man in spite of what he did to you. Yes, It is better not to have it at all if this will just be the end result better drop him and maybe you deserve someone better. Firstly it is so unmanly to have in broadcast to facebook. My goodness, is he not man enough to tell you that he is calling off the wedding and why the hell he has to tell everyone about it. At least he gave you the respect for you to break the engagement or save your dignity and face. Anyway I am sure for what he did, he his friends and your friends would know his true color. Sorry again.
• United States
25 Nov 12
It stupid but I'm hurting he not only called it off he also broke up wit me
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
26 Nov 12
I am so sorry that you have to be in such situation. Just let it pass for sometime and then have time to talk things out. You just need to have a real heart to heart talk about a lot of things. Calling off a wedding is hurtful enough. I am sure you'd have your dream wedding.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 12
Yes I agree with you and he says he only want me and a family so we talked and he say I never said we broken up.so I respond and say but you. Called it off.he was like don't nobody believe us and you my woman I can CALL it back on.so he text me and say he posted on fb bout the wedding being back on.so I'm like OK I'm going on there next thing you know he removed it and say because his brother said some I'm like wtf.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 12
So I say look you a grown behind man how u gne say cuz he said some u removed it?I also say if you can't marry me then I can't be with you because we both want kids and already got two but I'm not having no more kids until I tie the knot.I don't wanna have alot of different baby daddy's.so he say nall he just said why we calling it off.I'm like so that made u remove it.so we talk and I must admit I love him and still want him but something not right bout that story
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Nov 12
Why would you want to marry a man who can't handle his personal business on his own? If the baby mama insists that the kid isn't his, either get the DNA to prove it or walk away? I understand that it involved your potential future step-child, but involving you at this point was a big mistake on his part. He sounds VERY immature. I'm sorry that it happened, but it may be for the best. I mean, imagine marrying him and he's still carrying on like this five years down the line? By then, you could have a child with him, and married your finances together to make a big, complicated mess. Saved yourself a heap of trouble, in my opinion.
• United States
1 Dec 12
Well, it would make sense to actually know if this little baby is his before YOU make the commitment to emotionally bond to it, wouldn't it? Does he ever get the child alone? If he does, I think that you both should go ahead and get the DNA test done. Baby mama sounds like a serious head case, and she's only going to keep yanking YOUR man's chain until he says Enough! I think you can buy DNA tests online pretty reasonably priced-and it's something that needs to be resolved before you both go any further. Does he have a lawyer?
• United States
28 Nov 12
She said. She did one with another guy and she say he the dad but won't show us the dna. Which I know he love the lil gurl but he can't be mad at me I'm not the one who is putting him thru this mess
• United States
30 Nov 12
What I'm saying is I know he have a bond with the baby he kept her for a month when she was first born but soon as the posed to be dad gets out its she not ur baby until she's need sum then she will call and say ur baby need some.also she say she did a dna test with the other Guy and it was his baby but won't show us the dna.I also can deal with it because I know how far to let things go,but it's not about her I would just like to know if it's his child so we can be apart of her life
@chi2nasrin (1101)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 12
If you haven't married and things is already this bad, it's good that the wedding is off because you won't have to suffer anymore now and after wedding... I wish you all the best. God has better plan for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 12
We still in a relationship and live together
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Nov 12
I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you! I had to cancel my wedding in May and it was such a disappointing experience. Even though I still loved my ex, I was relieved that I wouldn't be spending my life with him. After I discovered more about his character and expectations, I knew that I would not have been happy. Thankfully, we were able to talk calmly about it and he took responsibility for his mistakes. We divided up our shared property and he offered to pay the wedding expenses. The worst part was telling everyone that the wedding is off. Everyone wanted to know why and I just couldn't tell them all. Instead, I just said again that it is off and that is all that is important. From what you wrote of your story, I would say that yes, it is disappointing, but maybe this guy wouldn't have been able to love you and support you in marriage. He turned on you very quickly and publicly humiliated you. You might also consider asking him to change his FB password so that you aren't tempted to use it again. Move on, be happy with yourself, and if he or any other man wants to be with you, he needs to step up.
• United States
25 Nov 12
All I can say is I'm not giving up on him when I just seen him he held me close and told me that I'm his queen and he ready if i am. We talked a little and we both let each other know. What was on our minds and we gna try to work through it but thanks for ur comment
• United States
26 Nov 12
I hope that you guys can work it out. But I just want to put it out there: breaking off an engagement is much better than getting a divorce. I would suggest that you two try to learn more about conflict management and how you can work through your disagreements in the future. There will always be problems, but you will both need to handle them in a way that is respectful. Plan ahead and try to set some ground rules. All the best to you!
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
I am so sorry to hear that!. I know how you felt. I've been on that situation before when I was almost half of the preparations and almost everyone knows about our wedding my fiancee off the wedding without any valid reasons. Just that he told me I don't have to continue the wedding preparation and cancelled all the bookings coz the wedding is off!. It's painful but I know it has a reason for everything that happened in our life. Be Strong to face the reality and accept it!.
• United States
25 Nov 12
But he texting me saying I got another man.damn dis feel like I've been stabbed in the heart
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 12
hi mrsshubert. His actions are mot very mature to me ranting like that on facebook.Why does he want you to call his babys mama as thats his affair. He had to be grown up if he has already made a baby with another woman or is it his baby? There is a lot of drama here and I think you need to think things through before jumping every time he calls the shots. I know you said you love this man but do you love the w ay he has treated you as it does not sound like you do? Why do you let him define yourself, hes the one acting like a spoiled brat not you. YOU have done nothing wrong.Will you be happy with a man who blows hot andcold all the time?
• United States
26 Nov 12
Thanks for your comment anyway I swear when he not acting a butt hole he talks to me just like that make me feel safe and warm I just dont know cause with him being quiet when he show out it's like crazy she a beast and I chill with the baby Mama sister so that's why he wanted me to ask her but ima be stuck without
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
28 Nov 12
Good riddance. You don't need a lying man.
• United States
28 Nov 12
Might be true
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
26 Nov 12
This is really sad, but on the other side you must be thankful that he shows the real person in him. Now you can go on with your life and find the right man who will love you , respect and give you importance.
• United States
30 Nov 12
If this don't work out ima just stay single for awhile and not even put myself through the hurt
• Philippines
26 Nov 12
I know it's difficult and tough to be in such a situation. It's very unfortunate how he easily changed in just a few moments. What I gauge from the situation is that he becomes selfish - thinking more about himself than about you and your love together. His telling the world about how bad you may be and how good he is - is just an alibi, a camouflage for his lack of total commitment and understanding. His level is too low that it doesn't match with yours. You deserve a better man. It's not the end for you - it's his loss and not yours. Keep a smiling face and show him you can move on. Consider getting counsel from a true Pastor who believes in the authority of the Bible, has a good family, and leading a faithful flock in the church.
• United States
30 Nov 12
Thanks for your advice and comment I will do
• India
26 Nov 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, don't worry, god always test good people and give a solution. Surely your problems will be solved soon, let's have faith with god and believe he will give strength to you to solve your issues
• United States
28 Nov 12
Thanks and ima keep praying
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
26 Nov 12
That is a sad news. Well if he does things that really hurts you and talking trash, then maybe you have to think again about your wedding. If he calls it off then you might be thankful at least you won't go through divorce to get freedom from him. Just think of it as a blessing in disguise!
• United States
30 Nov 12
I agree
@rockyk (159)
• India
27 Nov 12
I think you just had a terrible fight with your fiance and that's all. I mean it does feel terrible I understand. What you both need is to sit down and talk it out calmly. Involve a couple of people there who can keep you both calm and stay focused on the problem. Discuss it and it will surely be sorted out. Please don't go about saying mean things about each other. This goes for both of you. Both of you would regret it when the anger is gone. Sit down, talk and get married.
• United States
28 Nov 12
That's true and we will
• United States
25 Nov 12
I am sorry to say that but you are lucky even when it hurts now cause you deserve better then that!!! Your are asking why he is doing that? I don't have to be a fortune teller but honey he don't loves you! I am sorry I am not helping you by hurting you more with my words but I am afraid your love for him makes you blind I am so sorry for you and sad I just can say you will get a better chance even when you think everything is lost. I assume you want a husband that loves you like you love him And posting it on Facebook is just pathetic And never ever think that way that everybody is better of without you Don't do something stupid when you need to talk send me a message and I give you my email
• United States
25 Nov 12
Okay I will do thank u so much I'm really going thru some things
• United States
25 Nov 12
Yes honey I believe that
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
25 Nov 12
He called off the wedding, because you wouldn't call the Mother of his child? Why is that your responsibility? It's his baby, he should be the one calling the mother of his child. Yes, there's a lot of drama here, and if he's going to act like that, then I wouldn't want to be marrying the likes of him anyways. I agree with the posters above, this guy needs to grow up and start acting like the adult he is. Let him go, and find someone else worthy of your love.
• United States
25 Nov 12
Yeah but I kinda understand he want to feel supported but at the sametime I'm like wow called off the wedding over this but we are in the process of working things out he is a really sweet guy and he come from a good home but thanks for your advice and comment
1 person likes this
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
Oh my ! What kind of man do you have ? A real man does not talk anything against her girl no matter how heavy is the fight. A real man respects a woman , never mind loving her . Your man i guess is not worth keeping ! Later in life if you're going to saty in one roof , he might be able to do worst things to you . While this early when wound is still curable , make up your mind then pack up your things ! You smile and enjoy life..Don't mind garbage individuals.
• United States
25 Nov 12
Nall I dont think that of him I think he's scared a little cause I'm a few months older than he is and it maybe I'm pressuring him idk but when we in the same room you can't help but tell what it is with us it's ok thanks for your comment
@gilenie (190)
25 Nov 12
sorry to hear but you have to think more if you want to marry this type of guy? maybe its a sign that he is not really meant for you, there's lot of fish in the ocean dont waste your time to this kind of guy move on .
• United States
25 Nov 12
I guess u right I'm n love with him
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
25 Nov 12
What a mess..sorry. Maybe it's just not meant to be. Since you found a lot of badd stuffs he's been doing and saying, right you might be hurting but soon you will realize that it's much better you did not married this kind of person.
• United States
25 Nov 12
Yes I am hurting so bad rite now
1 person likes this