UGH I'm at a loss as to who my sister is
By Hrozean
@Hrozean (116)
United States
November 25, 2012 7:49pm CST
I'm not sure what to do about my sister who has no respect for anyone else or herself. I know I can't make her respect me my parents her family or herself but I need help dealing with this constant disrespect. Not only that after she realizes she has made a mistake she just goes and does the same things again whats a nice way of telling her to get over herself and realize that she can't rely on people doing her favors to get through life and her boyfriend spends all his time and money on his BMX bikes and also calls her names and she just lets it go because shes afraid of being alone. What should I do if anything?
4 responses
@Elenakat13 (425)
• United States
26 Nov 12
Eventuly one day she will be alone when she can't respect anyone.
Maybe she has to learn it the hard way.
The only thing what you can do is try to talk to her try to open her eyes and tell her you love her
When she still don't wonne listen she will see what happends and hopefully learn
@drravikiran (38)
• India
26 Nov 12
Dear Hrozean,
It is quite a common thing with the teenage. Usually in the adolescent age the kids are no more kids and nether are adults. They think of the family as the MENDERS & CONTROLLERS who look down upon them as silly fellows. It is only their peer groups that attract them.
Whatever you ADVICE will be taken down as RESENTMENT. Just keep talking to her nicely, do not be judgemental, give her enough space, and WHENEVER POSSIBLE, approve her actions as much as possible.. especially when she declares it. And compliment her SINCERELY.. like "wow you look so nice in this dress" (don't tell so with a shabby dress either.... if she is looking good, tell so and stop at that).. do not say something like "You are looking so good but sadly you dressed up only to go out that stupid boy" etc..
When she is hurt by her friends.. show real concern... just say.. " that is really sad.. but don't worry... it will just pass off.. You are a good person.. and things will be better soon"
Let your love and appreciation be unconditional. And wait for some time. Behavioural changes can not come soon. Especially the hormones do need some time to level well.
@drravikiran (38)
• India
27 Nov 12
Uffffuff, I Hrozean, you are quite smart. I should've known that you just wanted to prolong the conversation so that you register more entries herein.
@aabuda (1722)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
Oh. I think it is so unfair for your parents of being treated that way by your very own sister! She is I think very much wrapped by her love to her boyfriend that she has the possibility of exchanging her own family to her boyfriend! What kind of attitude she has!
@ladybugmagic (3978)
• United States
26 Nov 12
It sounds like she is in a bad relationship, and should get out. I would schedule a lunch date or something with her, and tell her exactly what you said. Tell her she seems self absorbed and that she needs to become self-reliant and not take others for granted. I would also advise her to get out of an unhealthy relationship with someone who is hurtful to her.
If that does not work, you may have to distance yourself. It may eventually become tough love time. She may need to face her largest fear and be alone, and then reevaluate her behaviour.
@Hrozean (116)
• United States
26 Nov 12
This is hard because she lives three hours away also I have been staying away. I'm almost to the point of just not making a trip there to avoid the possibility of seeing her. I just don't appreciate the way she is acting toward my younger brothers or my parents and as far as our relationship has gone it is either nothing or she's trying to tell me my husband doesnt know when a guy is flirting with a girl. This was one instance of her boyfriend being a jerk. Yes flirting with a girl in front of my husband and then telling her it was his sister.
She basically was trying to tell me my husband didn't know that and his response was well I definitely wouldn't ever talk to my sister like that. So whether it was or wasn't his sister is irrelevant. That and the fact that this instance happened in may and I never told her I told my mother and we decided we were going to let her either find out or make her own decisions. Maybe it was a bad mistake on our part but point being that was the only conversation her and I had had since may.
I don't want to care about her I want to just forget I even had a sister besides she's only my half sister. But I can't do that because she may turn around and it may take a while but I have to find a way to deal with it. . .
@ladybugmagic (3978)
• United States
26 Nov 12
I would just focus on you and only on nurturing relationships where they are win-win. Maybe take a break from your half-sister for the time being. Let her figure this out on her own.
