Would You Date Someone Homeless?

Valdosta, Georgia
November 27, 2012 10:29am CST
This friend of mine is homeless. He is lonely and wants someone to be with. I have tried to tell him that as long as he is homeless and does nothing with himself, he most likely will always be single. The thing is, there is nothing wrong with him. He is quite capable of getting a job, and people have offered him places to stay but he doesn't want to have to do chores or anything... He said he does not like bosses telling him what to do all the time... Well, how many of us actually "like" our boss? Lol. But we deal with that because its what we have to do, right? Anyway, most women will not be with a homeless guy because they don't want to have to support them forever. It should be an equal thing, not the woman paying for everything or the guy living off them...If a guy does not want to work while your dating, will he want to work to support a family? These are all things I would think about... SO here is the question... Would you date a homeless man if you were single? What are your reasons?
11 people like this
64 responses
@angelsmummy (1696)
27 Nov 12
I guess it depends on the situation, but when I met my husband he was living with family but when we started dating his sister made him homeless so he came to live with me, If he couldn't stay with me he would've been homeless and I don't think it would've affected our relationship. He had a job, he supported me emotionally we went on to move into our own place have 2 little girls and get married. Our relationship may not have been as rushed as it was but we have a lovely relationship and IM glad we lived together so soon.
2 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
27 Nov 12
I believe this to be totally different thing angelsmummy because he became homeless by chance, which is unfortunate rather then intentional. That could happen to anyone and since he worked and obviously made an effort to improve his circumstances then he was doing everything that he possibly could. If the person being discussed was half the man your husband apparently is then he would have accepted the first job offered to him and then found somewhere to live.
3 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
Well, that is different since he had a job and a way to help himself get out of the situation. This guy WANTS to do nothing for himself. He would rather beg on the corner rather than work to give himself a better life... My husband and I were homeless at one time together but my husband did what he had to do to get us out of that situation. We got out of it and we are doing good now. This guy will always be homeless because he has no motivation to do better.
3 people like this
• United States
27 Nov 12
LMB- I wouldn't enable a man who won't help himself. I wouldn't give him money or anything else except maybe a talking to like you have done. I believe if he got cold enough or hungry enough he would get up off his behind and do something to better his life. One would have to be nuts in some way not to want a better life.
1 person likes this
@robspeakman (1700)
27 Nov 12
There is a degree of selfishness to a large number of homeless folk - They seem to avoiding quite mundane things. The rest of us get on with it - most of life is boring and unrewarding. We can not avoid our responsibilties because we don't like something. I can't see what you could gain from dating a homeless person. I think I would feel a little awkward if a homeless lass invited me back to her place
• United States
27 Nov 12
I hear you! Her place might be under a bridge or behind Walmart in a cardboard box!
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
27 Nov 12
I would have the same problem. We all now that being homeless can be result of unfortunate circumstances and can really sympathise with these people, but someone who is homeless by their own hand because they could not be bothered would have no place in my life.
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
That's right. He is just avoiding work. How horrible! I would MUCH rather work than beg. Begging is degrading to me, I would be mortified to do that each day! For people that have just had a tough life that is different but basically he is CHOOSING this for his life! Crazy...
@BarBaraPrz (45430)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
27 Nov 12
Basically, he is still a baby, and wants a mommy to take care of him. A woman would have to be a compulsive helper to consider a man like that.
@BarBaraPrz (45430)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
27 Nov 12
Some never do.
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
Exactly, he needs to grow up before he can find a woman. He is 35 years old! I just don't know how many years it takes for someone to grow up!
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
Very good point!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
I don't want to sound like a snob, but I would never date a homeless guy. I mean, how can you deal with a person who doesn't know how to make his life straightened out? I could be a friend to help him if he needs me but if he would just be relying on my help every single time, ADIOS AMIGO!
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
No, you don't sound like a snob at all. I completely agree with you. I would never date a homeless man either. I would not want someone to take care of like his mother when he is grown. That is crazy! Yeah I am just his friend and I am trying to tell him to get a job and maybe he will find someone special for him. No one is going to date him!
• Malaysia
27 Nov 12
Hi, i would contact his family and tell them his situation. I remembered one time a well known footballer relative were homeless and here the footballer was earning millions. Be sure that he does not have any mental problem since he is trying to do the abnorm
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
I don't know his family to be honest. I do know one of his brothers is in prison and his mom lives far away from us... He doesn't really have family. Well, I have known him for a while and he has never done anything wrong to me...
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
Some people just always take the easy way out, and to him this is the easier way of life...I think being homeless is much tougher than getting a job but apparently not to him.
• United States
29 Nov 12
My boyfriend was homeless for a time. I was with him before though so i was already in love and wouldnt just leave him because he was homeless. circumstances were tough...he put himself in that position due to poor decisions. it was tough but 4 years later he is now a manager, owns his own place, has a car and is doing very well for himself. i think just being there emotionally for someone who is homeless would be good for them. dont just jump into a relationship with them. but if they have someone to talk to it helps. trust me. they will eventually see the light and change. :)
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
you are right about your friend.. your friend should have at least find a place to live and a job if he really want to date someone or to be with someone.. if he does n`t find a job it is hard for him to find somebody because me i won`t date someone who is homeless and jobless.. how will i know that if he is responsible enough if even his self he can`t take care of..
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
Yeah he would just rather be lazy and live off of other people by begging them for their money! It is terrible and he will never find anyone like that!
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
27 Nov 12
no, probably not. i would like to date someone that has a good job and a steady income and a place to live (ideally not with his mother, either!)
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
I agree with you. Most woman want a stable man who can help with the bills and things. Lol, no not with his mother!
@JohnRok1 (2051)
2 Jan 13
So he's got to groom horses, has he, in order to be the groom?
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
27 Nov 12
I believe some girls would date a homeless guy if that particular guy became homeless not by choice and is striving to change his condition and develop his status, but as for your friend, I think no woman in her right mind would want to date him. Nobody wants extra responsibility especially if it involves finances.
1 person likes this
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
Especially at this time, where people are more practical because of the economy, it would definitely be hard for him to find anybody who is willing to sacrifice for him while he spends his time sitting around. I think he needs help, somebody who is willing to make him realize that his way of life is not the right way and that he needs to do better.
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
I agree with you. Maybe if he was actually trying to better himself someone would want to date him. I know, he would be more of a burden than anything...
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
28 Nov 12
I probably wouldn't date someone I had to support. I supported my first husband most of the time and I won't do it again. I do know someone though who started dating a guy that was living in his car. He lost everything to gambling. But now they are very happy together and he has gotten back on track. That however is alot different then someone who doesn't want to work...or do chores etc.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
I agree with you, I would never do that either. I would not want to be a mother to a grown man. A grown man should be able to support himself... And if he doesn't want to while dating he probably never will.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Nov 12
hi LovingMyBabies no I do not think so. I married my hubby when he had just lost his job but he already was waiting to start a new job. I worked too until my ninth month of pregnancy and a doctor saw me with big belly and all trying to wash a three hundred pound woman. It turned out she was his sister. He looked at me and asked if I was almost due and I did not lie.then he called for another aide to come finish the bath as he escorted me into the head nurses office. He told her to put me on maternity paid leave so she did. He was head of the staff.She later fired my husband as she did not want married couples both working there. I would not have dated a homeless man unless he found a job and between the two of us we could afford an apartment? no my hubby was not homeless and yes he started working as soon as we were married. We both worked at first at St Lukes Hospital in Phoenix for almost a year before the head nurse fired him. we ' found out she was angry because she wanted him to marry her.they had dated only one time and he told her he was not interested. but that did not stop her.So no I would never have dated a man who did noi have a job and an apartment. [
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
Yeah, I would never do that either if I was single. Losing a job is different from being homeless though. And most men that lose their job will find another one when they have people they are supporting, I cannot say that about this guy obviously. I don't think he would ever get a job under any circumstances... Oh wow, she took something personal and turned into something work related, that is awful. She should not have been able to fire him because of her own jealousy issues!
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
I don't think so. I am on the verge of being homeless myself so what will happen next is both of us will sleeping on the streets. But I think if that man will find a good woman who will guide him and give him inspiration, there is still a big chance that he will straighten up. I know a hoodlum transport into a good and decent citizen when he married a good woman who helped him all the way until he was able to find a good decent job. Now they have three children and are happy as a family. Just give that guy one good woman to change his life. Unfortunately, I don't think I am that woman. LOL
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
I am sorry for your situation. I was homeless at one time too. My husband and I were both homeless together, but my husband fought to get us out of that tent. He worked his butt off to get us into a home again. But if I was with someone lazy like this guy, I might have been stuck in that tent forever! =( I really don't think any woman would want him with the way he is right now honestly. I know all of the women in this discussion have said no. That doesn't give this guy much hope!
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
29 Nov 12
I understand both sides here. I agree with you though. No woman in her right mind would be with a homeless guy like that. Look, I am the first to admit that I never liked being bossed around. No one does. I also have a problem with authority. I grew up where my father was a boss. He worked in the NYC water supply. Yes he started out in the streets as a laborer, but became a foreman and then supervisor. Both my father and my uncle we bosses. So it sort of rubbed off on me. I also worked for the water supply for years. So I learned from the old timers how to be a boss even though I had no problem working hard. So dealing with bosses was always a sticking point for me. If he is able to work then he should. You know, these days there is no loyalty in a job. Neither the employer or the employee. So if I were him I would not worry about bosses. They come and go just like workers. But money is money.
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Nov 12
No, I don't think most people like to be told what to do every day but people deal with it to make money! This guy is TOO lazy, he wants to beg rather than get a job and work for things. It makes no sense to me at all. He will forever be single with the way he is going...
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
3 Dec 12
I find it takes more energy to beg for money then to actually work for it. I would never want to work that hard that I have to always ask or beg for money from people. That is way too stressful for me.
• Philippines
27 Nov 12
hi LMB, Honestly I don't like a guy who doesn't have a bone at all there is a guy who likes me a lot I never give him a chance to date me or to court me cause I see that I can't have a better future with him simply because he is the type of person who don't make anyway to have a better living. Now a days we must be practical at least be with someone who can support you cause LOVE can't be eaten that's the reality. happy mylotting
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
I agree with you. I think most women will feel the exact same way that you do. I just wish I could make him realize the same. He will not wake up and listen to me but I am trying...That is all I can do for him.
• India
28 Nov 12
I agree with my friend bhabycatch I also not like to give the permission for date with me. Now we should live practically because the world is not good even we are good.
• United States
28 Nov 12
It sounds shallow, but no, I wouldn't consider it. If, as you said, he is capable but not willing, I would consider him to be a potential leech. I don't always like working, but I do it because I have to. Even women who are supported by their husbands do some kind of work around the house and try to contribute to the family. But if someone is just expecting me to take care of him, I won't be able to respect him as an adult. I have to be able to respect the man that I am with, otherwise, it just won't work.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
It doesn't sound shallow to me, it sounds practical. If you dated someone like this you would have to have the responsibility of taking care of them too! Who needs that? I would never be with someone that I have to act like their mother all the time. And you could never have a family with them unless you want to be the provider always...
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
27 Nov 12
I guess for me it depends. With a situation like this one that you have shared here,I would say no. Acutally now that I think of it, their would not be many situations where I would. I would be friends with them for sure. I dont have an issue with this, but the situation where he doesnt want to live anywhere or work. He doesnt seem to be trying or even care to better his quality of life. And with that I cant be making a partnership with because I have a standard and goals. If he were to be in a relationship, the other person would be pretty much just taking care of him because he doesnt want to work or even help out in the home.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
I don't think anyone would actually date someone like this! Yeah I am friends with him because I am trying so hard to tell him he could find someone if he would just clean up his act! But he is hard headed... Right, they would be like another mother to him. Who wants to live like that??
@AmbiePam (85244)
• United States
27 Nov 12
Nope, I wouldn't date a homeless person. Pretty much for every reason you just listed.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
Me either. I understand, he needs to get his lazy butt up and do something for himself!
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
27 Nov 12
I would be friends with a homeless person and help them in anyway that I could. I wouldn't wish to have a romantic relationship with a homeless person. In a work environment a boss has the job to do that tells the workers what to do. The man is wrong to disrespect a boss and his overall authority. That man seems lazy to me. It is a shame he hasn't accepted a place to live. Somebody that is unemployed and he is trying hard to find another job impresses me.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
Right, I am friends with him. Would I ever be romantic with a homeless man? No. I am happily married, I am just saying if I wasn't I still would not date someone homeless. Especially when the ONLY reason he is homeless is because he has no ambition. He wants no better for himself! It is a shame.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
27 Nov 12
I would not date a homeless man , knowing that he his homeless especially if you rare talking the type that have no ambition just enjoy sleeping on the street corners. Why would he want someone to be with , where would he take them ? is he expecting the woman to shelter him forever ? that guy is not just homeless but crazy !! If he at least have ambition to start something small and then grow it but with no skill nor ambition pretty much hopeless .
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 12
I wouldn't either. That is the problem with him, he has no ambition. All he wants to do is beg for money! He does not want to work at all. I guess he is wanting someone to take care of him like a mother figure... Too bad he is grown and does not need a mother still!
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
27 Nov 12
I am not single, but I wanted to respond. I totally agree with you on this situation, about this friend of yours who wants someone, but he doesn't want to get a job or make his situation better. If I was single, no I wouldn't date a man who was homeless, especially if he wasn't doing anything to get himself off the streets. Like try and find a job, or find a place to stay. I couldn't deal with that. I agree that the woman shouldn't only be the one making all the money and taking care of all the things going on in the home. If my husband loss his job, I wouldn't leave him though, because I know that at least he would work very hard at trying to find another job. I think that if your friend tried to make the effort in bettering his life, like at least get a place to stay and job search then maybe he would find someone. Otherwise if he just wants to live on the street and not work, then you are right he will remain alone and single forever. I know a guy just like him, actually makes me wonder if its the same person, jk. But anyway, he loves being homeless, this guy is a very smart guy, he can have any job he wants. Heck he could make as much money as a doctor. He is healthy as a horse. But his problem is he is just way to lazy to want to work. And also his excuse is he thinks something is medically wrong with him, despite the doctors telling him that he is perfectly healthy.I'm like what is wrong with this guy. Like really, he could be rich living in a nice big house and driving really nice cars can have any girl he wants. Yet he chooses to live in and out of hotels (so I guess he's part time homeless if that is even the right way of saying it) he will every once in a while do little research jobs like have research done on him for certain medicines and stuff. He'd rather live in his car or under a bridge and drink all day. Then actually go out and get a job with all the skills and everything he has. I am like really. What is wrong with this guy. Is he delusional, yet he complains about being broke and always trying to borrow money from my husband. I am like really, we never loan him money because we never know if he'll pay us back. But I'm like get off your butt and get a job. He too wants someone in his life, like a wife or a girlfriend (although once he did have a girlfriend , but she was homeless too lol) but still. I'm like man you won't ever find someone if you remain homeless living like you do. It won't work. Go find a job and believe me there will be a ton of girls lined up wanting to date you.
• United States
27 Nov 12
if its a homeless man who doesnt do anything to try to fix his situation then no i wouldnt HOWEVER... sometimes things lead to other things and you end up homeless and its not really anyones fault or things just went bad and you didnt have a choice.... you have to look at the whole story and if the homeless guy wanted to do something to fix it and just needed a boost in the right direction then i dont see whats wrong with it. currently my fiance and i are homeless... not because we want to be but because thats what circumstances lead to and we are trying to fix it. we stay with friends and are both working trying to be able to get into a place but just because we are homeless doesnt mean that we are bad people or anything like that
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Nov 12
I have been homeless with my husband too. We lived in a tent in the cold months! It was terrible. BUT my husband worked his butt off to change the situation and to make things better for us. And he did it. We have our own home again. This man does NOT want to work or change his situation at all. He has been offered jobs and turned them down because he doesn't like having a boss. And he has been offered places to stay with other people and he has said no to that too. He would rather live in an abandoned house... There IS something wrong with that! Sorry but there is. He would rather BEG on the street than get a job!!! Your not homeless, you have a roof over your head with heat and everything you need. Your in a temporary home, that's how I look at it anyway...