What's Wrong With Me?

Philippines
December 2, 2012 9:52am CST
They say I am lazy, dumb, and worthless. They keeps on talking that my husband is so unlucky to have me as a wife. I am not lazy, if I am lazy then why on earth I am the only one who do our household. I am not dumb for my IQ is above average and I have a good scholastic record even though I didn't finish my college. I am not worthless for my family loves me and I do have an allowance every month coming from my own family. My husband's family is so materialistic. They can leave their spouses and remarry again for the sake of money. Not all of them are like that but many of them marry for the sake of money and sometimes if the husband can't provide the pretty wives cheat their husband and fool some rich man. Well, that is their life and I am not intruding them. But why on earth they keep on talking about my husband's poor life with me? Sometimes they tend to tell my husband that he should not marry me then for I have nothing to offer. I got insulted so I decide to talk about it with my partner. Instead took a pity on me, I heard more insults from my own husband. What's wrong with me? That's the question I always ask myself. I know my husband loves me. For 12 years he never cheated me but still I always get my feelings hurt because of his family and relatives.
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
2 Dec 12
When your husband loves you why doesn't he got your back? I don't think that anything is wrong with you! Look I tell you a short story After I got divorce I never wonne marry again but I met a man and fell in love with him he was also divorced had two kids and seven grand kinds. He ask me if I wonne marry him . I said no cause he deserved better. He was very sad and thought I don't love him so I tried to explain. I said you know I have seizures one reason why I don't cook or only once in a while when I feel like it. I am not the person that stands everyday behind the stove. Because of my health issues I can't work anymore the only income on my side is my disability. I am a smoker and I always will be that is not only expensive but he don't smokes. After his hard job he takes a bath gets dressed and works with beautiful models he is a photographer But he said your the one I love We are now five years together four we are married I didn't change my bad habits but he still loves me. People tend to talk about me cause of my style I am a gothic but he always has my back I can count me as a very lucky person cause his kids and the grandkids accept me they even arranged a gothic wedding I still don't know why he loves me but I know he loves me What I am trying to point out here is When someone would say something is wrong with me I could clearly understand that even my best friend says that But honey I really don't see anything wrong with you
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
Thank you. My husband loves me I feel it. We have many differences but no matter what it is, I'd never put an issue about it. He has my back but I know he is torn between his love for me and for the respect to his kins. And I am fine now, thank you for your beautiful story. I just posted this discussion to clarify the discussion I made days ago entitled 'crying.'
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
I am totally fine now... What had happened is just part of the past that brings me more strength. Thanks for the advices...
• United States
3 Dec 12
I hope you get threw this good luck
@marguicha (215189)
• Chile
3 Dec 12
I`m sorry, but although I would not have bothered with the things that your inlaws say about you, I would be very angry if my husband had said such things about me and I let him know that immediatly. If you ley it pass, things will never be the same with him. Confront him and have this whole conversation finished for good. In my isea, he owes you an apology.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Thanks for your concern... Well, we are all fine now. My husband realize what he had done and we are okay now. I really appreciate all of you who showed me concern. Thank you again...
@marguicha (215189)
• Chile
12 Dec 12
I am so glad! It is very important that both spouses talk over what is bothering them. I feel it is the key for a good marriage.
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
You are right... All things well and fine.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
You can never please anyone. And no matter how much you prove yourself to them, still, these people, with the kind of attitude that they have will always have something to say against you. Why? Simply because you are not like them. And since you are different from them, they have their focus on you. if I were you, I would not mind those people. They are not worth your time. Honestly, I have been through worst, and whether my inlaws and their relatives like it or not, I am married to their son and nothing else matters.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
13 Dec 12
I just wish that you learn the "art of ignoring" people who does not know anything else but pick on other people. Just let them realize that you don't care whatever they say about you.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
You are an inspiration... I follow your words! But I don't mind them at all. What matter is my children's love for me. They are the reason for my being tough always. Thanks for your nice words, I really appreciates it...
@litvillegas (1274)
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Hi Friend I guess the people surrounds you are just jealous. They can't do anything good to their own self so they are just trying to hate you and called you dumb. The important thing is that your husband loves you much. Don't believe them believe that you are worthy to him and to your family.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
You are always welcome friend.. That's the spirit.. Keep it up
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Thanks for those words. That really helps my ego to move upward... LOL. I am fine anyways and I really appreciate your words that console me...
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
Well, what you can do is just IGNORE THEM! They feed on your insecurities and people like them are not worth to pay attention with. Just live your life without them being your biggest concern after all, these are just rumours and you yourself know the truth.
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
You are very much welcome. glad that you're oka'y now...
• Philippines
18 Dec 12
Yeah! I ignore it now... I am not into affecting myself for some words. In that case, time heal the wounds and I am totally fine. Thanks for responsing...
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
no ones gets to make you feel worthless and insulted if you'll not let them. the very thought that your husband took pity on you makes me think that public opinion matters to him most. Never ever doubt that you are lesser than them!!! the fact that they pick on your 'supposed' flaws is a testament to their insecurity. its hard to look at the person you criticize and see in them the lack in you. if you really love your husband them better confront him about how you really feel. he should never have insulted you and you should tell him so. have counseling together. never smoother the wound because it will pester and may be the end of your relationship. Goodluck!!
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Thanks for responsing and for the advices. Right now, we are totally okay and that dilemma of mine is something from the past that is no more disturbing me. Anyways, thanks for the concern and I really appreciate it.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
2 Dec 12
Unless your husband says your lazy, dumb and worthless I wouldn't worry about his family. You married him not them. Does he at least stick up for you when they say those things?
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
Yes, he is always by my side. I don't mind them at all. I cannot please everyone and I know it but of course I always get feeling hurt when they make me feel unwanted and an outsider. Their are times that I don't go to attend their parties for I will only feel out of place.
• United States
2 Dec 12
I think the second poster understands you so well, I think you should just leave those nasty talkers out of your life. don't tell them anything that is going on in your life. take care of you and your family.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Indeed it is... I forget what happened and I will leave them that way. Let them say anything they fancy... I am all fine now... I really thank all of you here in mylot who shared my dilemma.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
3 Dec 12
You sure got yourself a very mean spirited new family from your husband side, there are obviously somethings wrong inside their head by saying you are lazy, dumb and worthless, if you or your husband really believe in their claims, then you will have to forever feel sorry for yourself, just forget about what they said, and ignore them, they don't deserve you wasting time to think about at all, so long as your husband is on your side and love you, you are still married to him, not his family, there is really nothing to worry at all. If it is possible, try to avoid them and live independently without your husband family along your household. They can go eat their shi* and suck their own toes without thinking about it anymore.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Actually, I agree with you... I am married with my husband and not with his relatives that are so darned good to themselves. Thanks for the concern and sorry for this kinda late comment...
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
That is sad that your husband instead of siding on you have insulted you instead. I think he's just being pressured by his family's words towards you. I believe though that a good character when is always around with not good people are being influenced. I suggest that you don't accept those harsh words that your in-laws are saying about you. Do whatever is you know is right and above teach your children what is right too so that they won't get influenced by their relatives. Some people is just to lustful over money, fame and material things, to think those won't last, sooner or later.. those things will fade away, and nothing remains but whats the inside of our heart. You pray to God always that your life will remain righteous still in spite of the prodding you get from your in-laws.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Thank you for those heart-warming words... I am coping and surely time will tell. I am totally fine now and what happened really made us more mature and we learned from it. This is kinda late comment but I need to for I really appreciate your response. Thank you again!
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
Hi, There are some in-laws who are like that. If you can't give them money, they would not like you. Prove them that you are not like that. Ask your husband if you can find a job that would help you and your family. And it is not your fault that you have a "poor" life, maybe it is just a circumstances/challenge. Don't bother yourself to that thing. Soon they will realize what's your worth. Just be kind to them and prove them that they are wrong.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
LOL... I don't mind them at all. I let them say whatever they wanna say. I learned that I need to be numb so I won't be affected anymore. I try to understand their morality, that they need to use their beauty to out themselves from being poor. They came from the poor family and what they need is someone to help them out. And that is not me...
@suildong (64)
• China
5 Dec 12
As the saying goes, out of sight ,out of mind. You are thoroughly tortured by your husband's family. I think you can tell your husband all about this and you together find a way out. or you will go insane for these insults.I suggest you move out and find your own apartment.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
Just for the info, we are not living with them. It just happen that I heard some stories about me. But it doesn't matter anymore for what matter is that I know who will I trust and not to.
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
3 Dec 12
Take back your power and do not allow any negative remarks to change WHO YOU ARE. You are worthy to your family - and what they say about you are more important than anything other people says about you. Live a life of joy and laughter and let those horrible people see who you are. Focus on what you enjoy and stay away from negative people.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
That is right! I don't need to change and as long as my family knows my worth then that is all really matters. Those horrible people (LOL) will see my worth soon.