Honor Your Mother or Father Because of their Title or Treat them as Human

United States
December 4, 2012 4:13pm CST
Now, I don't have kids and maybe never will but one thing got stuck in my head recently. If your parent has less-than-perfect traits and you grow up to accept this trait in your future relationships (which may be unhealthy and eventually deteriorate), can you blame your parents? For example, I'm a pretty compassionate individual but growing up in the big city, I can't extend a hand to everyone I meet. Same goes for temper tantrums that my mother is known for. Over the years, I've had emotionally abusive relationships (platonic and non-platonic) where I would make excuses for their bad behavior. I asked myself why do I keep attracting these types of people and it all linked back to my mother (my father's never been in my life). The disrespectful behavior, selfishness, addictive patterns and all-knowing ways (with no real basis though there are a few exceptions). So in a recent discussion, I recalled some events where I felt she went overboard. Her replies were along the lines that it was her house and she can treat guests (me) as she pleases, demean herself when it wasn't necessary or my favorite, get off topic with no resolution. Though I realize that she did more than give birth to me and there are others who are in much worse situations, I feel that following her lead for years has helped to kill many relationships - personal and professional. For the record, she never had a real career and only a couple of people that would be considered real friends. So while I try to not hold grudges, I want to move ahead and be a better person. And also continue to see that 80% of what my mother has to say may not be relevant. However, there are some people who feel that even if your parent is a fall-down stinking drunk with a grade school education who will start a fight in a minute, you must honor and cherish their every word. What do you think?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@suildong (64)
• China
5 Dec 12
In every kid's eye, parents are the greatest people in the world. But when they grow up, situations may change, but they still proud of them. It is true with me. I am kind of introversive in nature, not confident. It has something to do with the way my father educated me. He never praised me for a good deed,which makes me rather self-abased. Now I never blame him for this. because I can feel the deep love from him to me.
1 person likes this
4 Dec 12
You should honor and respect your parents, but that doesn't mean you take their word as gospel. It means you make sure to consider it, and if you choose to disregard it, you do so politely. I also think that once you become an adult, your behavior is your responsibility. All of out parents will have saddled us with one problem or another, but it's up to us to recognize the problem and work to overcome them.
1 person likes this
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
4 Dec 12
I agree with you... I hate to see kids disrespect their parents or grandparents. Happens alot here in mexico.