Problem solving to a husband with a bad behaviour

Indonesia
December 5, 2012 2:08am CST
My nephew has husband with a very bad behaviour.... Sometimes his insulting, angry without any reason when his bad mood appear and my nephew always try tobe patient....but it just enough... She want to maintain they realtionship cause she still love his husband and want change his husband behavior...what she shall to do
2 people like this
9 responses
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Hello. I got a little confused. Maybe you're talking about your "niece" here, right? She has to try to fix things first. If her husband won't exert any effort to save their marriage then they should get a divorce. Before it gets worse. She should not lose her self-respect. It's not good to live with that man if she will only get hurt for the rest of her life. Wish her the strength to face her situation. Hope she'll be fine.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Dec 12
I guess there are some possible things for her to do. She only needs to ask herself what does she want to do in her life. Goodluck to your niece.
• Indonesia
6 Dec 12
Another option to consider
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
It is hard to change a person. Not unless that person realizes that his behavior is affecting his relationship with other people, then he can be able to change his ways to make better connection with them.
• Indonesia
6 Dec 12
Well I thought this man should change if he want maintain relationship
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
That's true! Not unless he changes his behavior, their relationship might just,lead to a break up.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
to change actually no difficult as long as he want to do it
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
No matter how we try to help the person to change if he/she doesn't cooperate then it's useless. Changes must start from the person itself. Maybe tell your niece to avoid the things that make her husband angry or avoid the things that irritate him.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
she is a patient and care person
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
In love we don't change a person we just accept what is given to us.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
therefore there must problem solving
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
5 Dec 12
I think you mean that your niece has a husband with a very bad behaviour. She needs to realize that he is not going to change just because she wants him to change. He has to make that change himself. If he is willing, I would suggest marriage counseling for both of them. If he is not willing to go to counseling, then she needs to keep herself safe and let him go. No woman should put up with anger. She needs to be able to deal with her own emotions because she doesn't need to be loving a man who is abusive to her.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
but the problem came from husband
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
5 Dec 12
This person needs to realize that he has a huge problem. One person cannot change another - unfortunately.I can understand that your cousin wants to maintain the relationship. Encourage her to seek counselling urgently. Best of luck.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
because she still love his husband and they have children
@leeandrew (1225)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
That is bad, I know that it's very hard with your nephew. I suggest that she seek advice from people who have been through such situation and became victorious. They should talk a very hard and deep talk to see if they come up with something.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
great idea, what suppose they do?
@vibimi (34)
5 Dec 12
In a relationship where she is the victim almost all the time, there is no way of sticking to it. What for does she love her husband: for the bad treatment, for the insults she receives? If she loves him, he does NOT love her. Never let others treat you this way: neither your husband nor anybody else. Learn to love yourself first of all and the others will do it too.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
I agree, but is there another way so both of them can maintain relationship
5 Dec 12
Based on your last discussion, your family sounds like it has more than a few violence problems.
• Indonesia
7 Dec 12
not at all