Do you think he will start helping me out and doing things for me now?
By Dominique25
@Dominique25 (9464)
United States
December 5, 2012 7:54am CST
Ok,even though I really know that I already do everything for my husband I'm going to take out time for myself to give him more attention. The other day I read an article that talked about treating your husband like a king or VIP. So that is what I'm going to do for a bit and see what happens.
So I started two nights ago. At 11:30pm in the evening he wanted brownies but he didn't want to go downstairs and make them so I did. Last night I had supper ready when he got home. He likes it when I go to work really late like 3 or 4 in the morning. That way we are all able to have supper together and hang out watching movies. Even though I hate going to work that late that is what I decided I would do.
When I got back from work I left him a note on the mirror saying that he could take my card, and go to the new shop in the town he works at and get him a coffee and something for lunch. Do you think that he will start doing things for me because of the extra things I'm know doing? I will keep you posted on anything else I do and if he decides to do something for me.
Hopefully he will start to do better. I mean I honestly can't remember the last time he has even bought me a card or flowers, or something like that. He often says that he is broke and can't afford to do that. But that's not true he just chooses to spend his money on the things he likes. Although I work part time and make way less than he does I still buy him things.
2 responses
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
5 Dec 12
No, he won't treat you any better. You have just demonstrated to him that you are a doormat.
You need to avoid paying any mind to such rubbish articles. There is no redeeming value in them.
Continue with the couple's counseling with him, and work on building up your skills, resume and connections within the community so that you can be a strong, independent woman who is not bound to her husband out of financial need but is in the marriage because she wants to be--or can support herself when the marriage crumbles.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
6 Dec 12
Yes I agree with you that it is important for me to be strong and independent so that if things do fall apart I can support myself. The problem though is if things do not get better or improve in some way on his end then I don't want to stay in this marriage. The counseling has encouraged me to be a better wife by thinking of his needs and putting him first.
So that is what I have been trying to do although I already treat him very good. It's like the counseling is encouraging me to do all the work because he is lacking in those areas. That if I do those types of things it will improve our marriage. I have always been the one to work at improving myself. My husband is the one who doesn't see a need to make adjustments.
I'm not sure what the outcome will be but I will do my best to be prepared either way. It would be a good thing to see our marriage get better but it really does take two people. And I'm tired from all the effort that I have been putting forward.
@vibimi (34)
•
5 Dec 12
Dear Dominique25, we women are made this way: to sacrifice ourselves for the others- husband, children, old parents, friends etc. Often we put ourselves aside and think of others. Why? Simply because we love them and want to make them happy. Who knows.
Luckily I couldn't complain about my husband. (Maybe on the contrary, he should, kidding). When I hear from other women about their selfish husbands, who treat them badly, ignore them as if not even present, I can't believe it. If you as a woman do not exist for him, your man,then treat him the same way, with indifference. If a bit intelligent, he's gonna realize it, if not, he simply does not deserve you.
Think more to yourself, try to ignore him for a while and see his reaction, how he receives it. If no reaction from his side, don't waste your time.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
6 Dec 12
I'm glad to hear that your husband treats you good. That is such a wonderful thing. I do agree that it is our nature to love and care for us. I just would greatly appreciate if my husband who treat me in kind. Unfortunately when I ignore him then it only makes things worse.
I hope that he will learn to appreciate me more. At the moment he takes me for granted and thinks that I will always be around. Which is truly sad because I did very frustrated with the way he treats me.
