Would you move in after dating a short period?
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
December 5, 2012 6:47pm CST
My friend from high school moved way up north (4 hours away) with her loser boyfriend a few years ago. He ditched her for another girl, and left her up there. She had a full time job, and seemed happy.
She started dating this guy from her work, the end of October. It's been a month and a little since they have been dating.
This guy is moving down, back to this area with her so she can be near her family. Neither are coming here and have a job. They are moving into her brother's basement apartment, knowing she doesn't have money nor a job.
I asked her how are they are going live when neither of them work, or if her boyfriend and her split.
I know so many people who after a few months move into together, and I believe this is why their relationships fail. They are in such a rush, that they don;t get to know each other.
My other friend moved in with her boyfriend after a few weeks of dating. I would never do this, plus I hate moving, and with 6 animals it's a lot for them to change. I think of this before just jumping on everything. But I find they all want away from their parents, take the quickest way out, then fail because they didnt plan. I know when I move out I cant come back, that is the rules the doors only open one way and once your out your out.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@Bluebell18 (636)
• United States
6 Dec 12
This is going to be a disaster! A month after they 'started dating' and now they're moving in...at her brother's place?! No, no, no, hell no! Not going to work, sorry.
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
6 Dec 12
I said the same thing, but we will see. Her last boyfriend moved in with her parents, then his parents, then his brother each time they kicked them out. He is a few years younger 20, and she is 24. I know she is very immature and irresponsible, I havent met him yet, but when she moves back she wants me t meet him.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
6 Dec 12
It depends on the situation as to whether it is a good idea. In my case, my boyfriend and I had been friends for a while, had started chatting online and ended up moving in together shortly after deciding ourselves a "couple." However, there is a much longer story there, and the situation was quite different.
In the case of your friends, they are young and don't have anything on which to fall back. I would be horrified if a daughter or son of mine did something like that, because having a solid foundation for oneself first is important as is having enough life experience to really know oneself. Those are difficult things to have accomplished by one's early 20's.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
6 Dec 12
They have been dating a little over a month, and have only know each other maybe a month or two before that. I think she is a completely different person when she isnt around her family, when she gets around her family she is very immature and irresponsible so I think this guy is in for a real shock. Neither, of them have goals, and achievements both haven't done anything since high school, and neither have anything background such as work (they both just got jobs, and dont have any experience in that department).
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
6 Dec 12
That's insane to move in after a few months or even 2 weeks, you barely know the person, they could be some psycho for all you know. I would never do that, I been with my boyfriend for a year and 9 months and we haven't moved in together yet. We are talking about it but I think it's fine after dating for 2 yrs just about, but I really don't want to rush into things so I told him that we would wait and see how things go. But really that's crazy how your friends are doing things.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
16 Feb 13
That is their choice and they should deal with whatever problems that come with it. Maybe they are in a rush, it would seem like that.
I don't approve that people who knew each other not that long should move in together. Maybe it's their way of getting to know each other more?
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
6 Dec 12
I might have moved in if you asked me this question seven years ago, but I have changed my mind since then. It would also depend on if I knew the person I was moving in with before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. If we were friends before we became an "item" then yeah, sure I would have moved in. Today though, having grown and changed I would say "no, I won't move in with anyone after dating such a short period irregardless if I knew them before or not." I hate moving period. It's way to stressful.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
6 Dec 12
Being young does not mean you have to be stupid. If I were your girlfriend's brother, I would not allow them to move in. Perhaps it is time for you to find new friends, friends who are sensible and stable. You know, as well as I know, what will happen in these situations. Personally, I would not stick around to find out, since I already know these situations spell disaster. I would focus on your own family and appreciate that your parents raised you to be responsible.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I think the same way as you do. I may be too attracted to a person and maybe believe that I am really in love with him. But, I would not go to the extent of living in with him in such a short tome of knowing him. I think that couples need enough time ti know each other better and living in together is not the answer of knowing who that other person is. That is too much, too soon.
