What's the best way to help him find inner peace
By jureathome
@jureathome (5361)
Philippines
December 6, 2012 1:52am CST
Hi lotters, I'd like to hear suggestions and advices from you about my brother's situation. After a long time, we came across each other on Facebook and chatted for a few minutes. As I expected he still has a lot of hatred and negative thoughts about my mother, sister and even on me. He has not been healed by distance and time.
So, I offered to help him, if he was willing to undergo therapy. I believe this would help him open up his mind and as a result would help mend the shattered relationship he has with the family.
Good thing he said he was willing to accept help.
Now, I'm going for the next step. I don't know if it would be best to go medical about it, and send him to a psychiatrist. Or, should we go the spiritual way, and find a family counselor. The latter would be less expensive. I heard the psychiatrist's services are very costly.
What do you think would be a better and more effective way? Are there other options I should consider?
5 responses
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I wonder what is the problem that you and your family had with your brother?
I can someway relate to this because I myself have hurt feeling to my parents until now. The "wound" is so deep but, I am connecting to them though it still hurts me until now. I am emotionally battered by them especially my mom. :( I had been clinically depressed then but they still treat me the same until now. What I am saying here is, I still connect to my family because they are still my family no matter what.
I can't exactly say if this is helpful but I go on spiritual way. Pray for your brother and your family reltionship. Prayer really works, in His time.
I do wish you good.
1 person likes this
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Hi friend, well, my brother is close to being a lunatic. He blames my mother for the misfortunes that happened in his life - like not being able to graduate in college, even if he was the one who didn't give his best. He's already 29 years old and he has been dependent on my mother until that day my grandma demanded for him to leave the house because of his rude attitude towards them. The bigger problem, is that he doesn't acknowledge his mistakes and looks at my mother like she's a criminal or worse, the devil. However, if only he was in the right state of mind, he should be thankful for having a mother like her, because she's the only one left defending him and concerned about him. He doesn't see that.
He's very close minded and always thinks that he is right.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Thank you for sharing.
There are really close minded people. I wish they will open their mind and move on to be better. It is their lost, not the people who they are angry at.
I will include you in my prayers. Again, I hope things will be okay.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Thanks a lot for the prayers.
I really do hope this spiritual route can heal him. Although, yesterday he sort of started to show resistance telling me why I had to do that for him. He said I could just help him get a job abroad or finish studies and he should be find.
I still think he needs to be healed first before he can succeed in life. What do you think?
@JamesKYTan (1605)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 12
There are many bitter hatred among many family members.
My wife family also have such relationship where they
can't see eye to eye. When they happen to meet occasionally,
they will walk away and turn their heads away. How I wish
people can learn to forgive and forget. Most of the things
that happen is so small, nor serious matter! There are people
who can forgive but cannot forget. I hope your brother will
have an open heart and learn to forgive. May God's grace be
upon him. All the best!
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
6 Dec 12
I personally think hatred and unforgiveness is spiritual.
Therefore getting religious / family councelor will be a
good option. With the scripture guidance and words, it
will lead the person to a forgiveness prayer and he will
let it go spiritually and this can effect the outer. I
hope you could explain to him too that forgiveness can
bring more benefits and open for more blessings to come.
Once you forgive, it will take away some unnecessary hidden
stress too. Learn to appreciate our love ones and family
while they are still around. Do not live with regret of
unforgiveness.
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Thanks for the message. That's the route will take, and we'll see what miracle it'll bring on my brother and the whole family.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
6 Dec 12
I think that's a search that we do individually but just to help being Vegan, doing yoga, meditation, being spiritual like trying to put ourselves in other shoes and actually doing it, like volunteering and doing charity work is the best way to beat everything: depression, lack of sense of self worth, boosting selfesteem and self confidence...
@mhaiXCs10s (619)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
He will be fine... A family counselor can healed his soul. This is about family matters so you can spare the psychiatrist. Good to know that your brother is opening himself and that's a good sign that he still cares. Do your family knows about this situation of your brother? Why don't you and your family give him some bonding time as often as your family could so your brother will realize that a family will always be a family no matter what...
@jureathome (5361)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
I hope so. He is not ready to meet my mother or talk to her yet. I think his hatred for my mother has gotten that worse and a mere reconciliation is not going to happen very soon. There has to be some intervention from people who can help. I hope God will make the counselor an instrument for our family to be back together in peace.
