Just because you're hungry doesn't mean you can forget your manners
By muggiekins
@joliefille (3690)
Philippines
December 6, 2012 10:15pm CST
I am very annoyed at my sister. 
I prepared myself coffee and since it was still too hot to drink, I left it on the table and went for a while to my room to play with my 3-year-old niece. When I went out I was so pissed to see my sister drinking the coffee I prepared for myself. I reprimanded her she was drinking mine and she innocently said she thought it was for her. In the past hour she did not even tell my mom to prepare her a drink and coffee was never her type of drink. It was very rude of her to claim it was hers when she can simply ask anyone first who that coffee was for. She grumbled she was hungry. Just because you're hungry doesn't mean you can forget your manners. There was no excuse why she couldn't ask - everyone was within earshot and she could've easily hollered or whatever. My mom does prepare coffee sometimes for my other sister at her request and even if I didn't know whom the coffee was for I never claim it as mine.
I really hate disrespectful small acts like that.
What disrespectful gestures have you experienced from others and how did you show them they won't get away with it next time?
I prepared myself coffee and since it was still too hot to drink, I left it on the table and went for a while to my room to play with my 3-year-old niece. When I went out I was so pissed to see my sister drinking the coffee I prepared for myself. I reprimanded her she was drinking mine and she innocently said she thought it was for her. In the past hour she did not even tell my mom to prepare her a drink and coffee was never her type of drink. It was very rude of her to claim it was hers when she can simply ask anyone first who that coffee was for. She grumbled she was hungry. Just because you're hungry doesn't mean you can forget your manners. There was no excuse why she couldn't ask - everyone was within earshot and she could've easily hollered or whatever. My mom does prepare coffee sometimes for my other sister at her request and even if I didn't know whom the coffee was for I never claim it as mine.
I really hate disrespectful small acts like that.
What disrespectful gestures have you experienced from others and how did you show them they won't get away with it next time?7 people like this
18 responses
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Dec 12
hi j oliefille I cannot quite udersstand if there is a coffepot fu ll of coffee why the heck you did not just go an pour yourself another cup of coffee instead of gighting with your sister over it.Manners or not if there is more coffee she probably thought y u would just get anothercup of coffee. I do not see
any gif deal about it.
there are so many really important issues in life that one cup of coffee]is n ott hat hard to pour another one.
2 people like this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Hi Hatley. No, it was just a cup of coffee. It was the last sachet of 3-in-1 coffee we had at the time. It would be no big deal if she had asked first, but she didn't. She went ahead and assumed it was served for her, which was lame because most of the time each of us serve our own drink and if we couldn't do it because we were currently being tracked on oDesk while working, we would ask Mom to prepare us coffee. We don't have our own coffeepot, we usually buy in sachets.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
There is a booming coffeemaker business here. I see it in the store located in the next block. I'll just make a business out of it and she can even choose among 3 flavours - choco, caramel and mocha. 
@hoseasmate (720)
• United States
11 Dec 12
Coffee? Someone can so disrespect you to take your coffee? Them's fightin words, in my house. Take my tea, take my soda, take my water....take my coffee and we will have to rumble!! I think that manners and respect for others begins at home. If the parent doesn't teach the child not to 'steal' from others, not to serve others rather than themselves, and all those other things that make us beneficial members of society...then I think that the parents have done an extreme disservice to that child. Next time, guard your coffee with your life!
2 people like this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
Or I'll get my own coffeemaker and not share them mine if they still act rudely
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
When I first read the title, I thought it was at a restaurant or something. Only to find out that it's about a cup of coffee
. Rather than getting upset, I would just get myself a new cup. I'm sure it doesn't really take much effort to make another cup. Also, for me, I would not be upset because it's food and it's meant to be eaten. I would be upset if it got thrown into the sink or if my plate of food was thrown in the garbage because people thought I wouldn't eat it anymore. But having someone else eat or drink my coffee is fine with me.
. Rather than getting upset, I would just get myself a new cup. I'm sure it doesn't really take much effort to make another cup. Also, for me, I would not be upset because it's food and it's meant to be eaten. I would be upset if it got thrown into the sink or if my plate of food was thrown in the garbage because people thought I wouldn't eat it anymore. But having someone else eat or drink my coffee is fine with me.
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
I know your day got disrupted just because of a cup of coffee. And I hear you, when you say that your sister could have simply asked whose coffee it was. But then again, knowing it was the last one she might have assumed it was an abandoned cup of coffee. Loosen up dear. You're unable to write over a cup of coffee. What if it were something more serious? Would you give up writing then?
. And I hear you, when you say that your sister could have simply asked whose coffee it was. But then again, knowing it was the last one she might have assumed it was an abandoned cup of coffee. Loosen up dear. You're unable to write over a cup of coffee. What if it were something more serious? Would you give up writing then?1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
You can tell I am a good candidate for hypertension in the next five years. I tend to worry about a lot of things which I couldn't control.
I tend to worry about a lot of things which I couldn't control.@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Yeah I easily could make myself a new cup if only what I had prepared was the last sachet left. Plus to buy another sachet of 3-in-1 coffee I had to wait for the sari-sari store to open for like 30 minutes and my concentration to write an article was really disrupted because of that. All I wanted to emphasize on her was to simply ask permission. The problem with people is if you never tell them what they've done wrong they'll obviously repeat it.
@buen032000 (29)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
what a sweet sister. shes trying to be cute :). If I'm your sister, I will do this everyday because you looked cute with it! ROFL
@buen032000 (29)
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
Im kind to animals. :D tigers lions and carabaos too. my patience of annoying is of high tolerance ;p
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
My friend, don't be too hard on your sister. You can tell her not to do it again next time or you would really get angry with her.
Sisters are like that. They fight at little things. Take it from me because when we were growing up, my siblings and i quarrel over many things, specially at wearing our shirts without asking permission. 
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
True, SimplyD. Reminds me of that Miss Universe USA question when she answered she regretted picking on her siblings because she could appreciate them growing up.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
24 Jan 13
Simplyd my friend nice suggestion and I am missing you on my discussion I think you are anger on me. If any mistake is happened from my side then want to say sorry.
Really we fight with our sister on small things but with in few minutes we miss her and want to talk with her.
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
it makes me wonder how old your sister is that she has to wait for your mom to make coffee for her. is she used to being "served" by the people she lives with all the time that anything she sees or needs is "hers" for the taking? i wonder if she even washes her own coffee cup afterwards? 
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
She's 25 years old, she wasn't busy at the time and she could easily ask who owns the coffee cup on the table, but she didn't. There was no excuse not to ask, you know. Sometimes when she feels like it she washes her own cup afterwards.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
She's really lazy in doing some other household stuff. What I do these days - since we're using the same laptop I still don't have my own since I surrendered the Macbook Air when I resigned from work - I let her surf some manual traffic exchanges sites for me so the sites that I am promoting can get exposure. I find that she doesn't complain though when I request her to do computer stuff.
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
she's 25 and washes her own cup sometimes when she feels like it?
to me, the bigger issue is about being a member of the family, about having the initiative to do your share in everything - expenses, housework, and time (ex. accompanying a parent to a checkup). it's showing concern and consideration for the people you live with, not acting like a guest and recipient of "goods and services."
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 12
Er how would she like it if you did that to her? I bet she wouldn't like it, some people just don't think, they are selfish, and only think of themselves. Manners don't cost, and yet some people seem to forget them. I remember when I was at work I would buy myself a chocolate bar as a treat and I would leave it in the fridge, but when I went to get it, it had gone, and there was my colleague at the table munching it. I said hey that's mine, he replied ain't got your name on it. Well I was fuming. Someone said to me leave a bar of chocolate in there again and lace it with washing up liquid. It was tempting, but I didn't. It was the audacity of him, thinking anything in the fridge was his. I said sarcastically, did you enjoy my chocolate bar? He ignored me.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
Wow that's very inconsiderate of your colleague! Even more inconsiderate that he had to be caught eating it. I know what you mean, even though he did that I couldn't dare do a prank on him.
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
9 Feb 13
I think manners should be there in our lives. I think most probably your sister could have asked if the coffee was for her. I think most probably your sister might have thought that you might have put the coffee for her and most probably you had the coffee. I think it is just a case of misunderstanding. 
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
10 Feb 13
Yeah it was a misunderstanding. I just hate when something like this repeats. It's like the lesson is never learned.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
25 Jan 13
Dear friend,
I to had some messy things like your with my siblings but mostly I forgive it. I am the elder. I am the elder one. But when we grew up as adults such nasty things were not happened. I hope if your sister is a child it would be just her unknown way to know how to use manners. Just help her and teach her good manners, I feel so. Moreover she is your sister. My shirts, books, bike, so on are things that were taken without a word, but later when we came up we too have learn manners. Hope no such things will happen again....
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
It's different when we're still kids, it's difficult to reprimand our siblings because children are more likely to follow the behaviour they see and not what we preach or say. I am the eldest, too. After I while I would forget about my anger and then move on. But since she's not a kid anymore, I could tell her what to do and what not to do or proper manners of asking permission. It will stick to her memory.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
15 Mar 13
She could ask if she wanted to. She may not have exercised proper manner in this matter. it seems like your sister put herself at home too much by thinking that drinking a cup of coffee on the table in her own house is not something wrong. This might have something to do with her perception of home. The home sweet home view.
Unfortunately, we can't let ourselves off guard wherever we are even if it's in our own house with our family members huh? Now what does that leads to? 
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
She assumed wrongly and I felt it unfair on my part. She didn't even ask first she just took it. Yeah you can say she got too comfortable.
Yeah you can say she got too comfortable. @israelaguilar (18)
•
7 Dec 12
it depends on the people. sometimes what they do is like a part of their life.we cant change it but we can accept it.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
True. But she's my sister so I'm patient with her. There are things she often can get away with because she's the youngest.
@nykalex88 (243)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
That is because we are animals too... Like other animals, it is an instinct to grab for a food or to be hot headed when they are hungry. But we, humans can control this more than lower classes of animals. We study GMRC (Good Manners and Right Conduct). Be patient to your sister, she may be forgot her GMRC lessons.
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
Reading GMRC suddenly took me back to my high school days . Yeah I was just upset that day and had a lot of problems but the day after that I eventually forgot about it.
. Yeah I was just upset that day and had a lot of problems but the day after that I eventually forgot about it. @cyclops19 (3)
•
31 Jan 13
yahh,right!. it happens to me also, i didn't expect my cup of coffee being empty and it pissed me off.i don't even gets why did people like this exist this kind of values.hoping that they will correct this.. good article..it relates.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
7 Dec 12
On reading your discussion am laughing (Please don’t get annoyed on me), but am not laughing on you for sure. I remember the incident in last week. I prepared egg curry and my two sons (11 years and 5 years old) were having their lunch together. Elder one was watching tv and when his attention divert from plate younger one snatched the egg (half portion) from his plat and gulped it. Actually I felt funny on seeing his innocent face and smile, the expression in his face etc, and it is a naughty thing in between brothers, but elder started to cry and shout on younger one. I asked him to relax, it is your younger brother had your egg and he has that right to such small naughty things with you I provide him another one so he become cool quickly. If younger ask one more egg from me, definitely I would give it, but it is just a fun moments among siblings.
There is nothing to get angry, just relax and ask your mom to prepare another cup of coffee for you. 
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
That's a funny one! No, I am not offended. I remember our younger days when my youngest sister was playing the pesky one snatching things or trying to mess my art drawing projects. 
No, I am not offended. I remember our younger days when my youngest sister was playing the pesky one snatching things or trying to mess my art drawing projects. 
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Oh, she needs to prepare herself coffee too. Her reason isn't valid. LOL. If somebody told her that that cup of coffee is hers, then she could drink it. But nobody informed her so that means it wasn't hers. I hope she won't forget her manners. When it comes to my sisters... Hmmm. I've got four sisters. I sometimes get annoyed with the youngest one. I'm four years older than her. When she talks to me sometimes, she forgets her manners. She talks like she's only my agement. There's no respect. One time she was paying in the counter and she did a funny face. She's already old to make that facial expression. LOL. So when when I told her, I wish you saw your funny face. Then she said, "my face is none of your business!" Whoa... I didn't talk to her after that til we got home and the next morning. She was trying to offer me some food but I refused them. I hope she realized that her comment was rude to me. What if someone younger than you told you that the age doesn't matter and she has the right to be rude whenever she wants to, would it be alright with you?
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
Hahaha reminds me of my youngest sister too. Her sarcasm is endearing yet also annoying.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Oh well, I understand your anger- hehehe.
Anyway, I love my coffee very hot and sip it slowly.
In your sister's case, i agree that she can ask first and not assume it was hers- unless she ask someone to make a coffee.
Is she your younger sister?
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Yes, she's my youngest sister. She didn't ask anyone to make coffee for her, not even my mom knew she wanted coffee and my mom was shocked to see her dip bread on it. Just because she's a relative doesn't mean she can comfortably take anything without permission. It's not that I want to make a big deal of this - it's that if I let small things like that slip and hold my anger and not say how displeased I was, it's bound to show in other aspects and my silence or complacence could be easily abused.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
7 Dec 12
Hi jolie!
Merry Christmas! Personally, I would not be angry if somebody drink the coffee I prepared for myself. Actually, if it would happen to me and my sister or anybody would come, I would offer that I will make a coffee or tea for her/him. It' a very simple thing to be mad about.
Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
Hi, Aries1973! It's too long I haven't gotten back to this discussion . Nice seeing you on EC though. 
Anyway yeah I am not angry now but I was at the time it happened. Plus I also felt stressed at the time and her snatching my coffee didn't go down well with me.
. Nice seeing you on EC though. Anyway yeah I am not angry now but I was at the time it happened. Plus I also felt stressed at the time and her snatching my coffee didn't go down well with me. 