Overcoming shyness
By dorannmwin
@dorannmwin (36392)
United States
December 20, 2012 11:04pm CST
My daughter has been painfully shy from the time that she started school when she was five years old. She is ten years old now and in the fourth grade. And today was her school's talent show. They auditioned three weeks ago and then had time to prepare for the talent show. She told me that she tried out to sing the song "Ours" by Taylor Swift.
Two weeks ago she let me know that they had decided that she was good enough to perform in the talent show and they had practice at school every day until today. The other day, she let me know that she was going to be singing without background vocals and I have to admit that I got scared since she is so shy, I was afraid that she would be too scared to sing.
Well, I'm happy to say that she did a wonderful job with her song today (I'd say that she did better than all of the other girls, but I'm a bit prejudiced). The only issue that I noticed is that she didn't do a great job with projecting her voice, but still, it was the first time that she's ever gotten up in front of a crowd and sang so I have to say it was awesome.
Do any of your children have something that they are scared of that they've somehow been able to overcome? I really think that the talent show at her school has been a turning point for her.
2 people like this
11 responses
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
21 Dec 12
My youngest son is naughty around his brothers and cousins but could be awfully shy around other people. He is not into those talent shows, though. But when he was asked to join the quiz bee every year because he had good grades ever since, I think that also made him come out of his shell.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 12
A couple years ago I had Kathryn sign up for the quiz bowl at her school because she is so intelligent. However, that was also the one thing that I let her quit because she was too shy to try to even answer the questions.
If it is music that is going to help her overcome her shyness, I will let her do music all day long. You see, I'm a singer (I can also play the piano and viola) and my husband is a bass guitarist (he also played the baritone in high school). So Kathryn (and Paul) both come from a family of musicians.
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
22 Dec 12
Well, atleast both our kids were able to find ways on how they could get rid of their shyness and excel in something.
As parents, what we can do is to show them our love and support so that they may become a lot better in doing their own crafts.
As parents, what we can do is to show them our love and support so that they may become a lot better in doing their own crafts.@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Dec 12
You are absolutely right. I think that it is very important to make sure that our children can learn to excel in each and every place that they can in their lives.
@missybear (11391)
• United States
21 Dec 12
I don't have any kids but I'm happy for you that your daughter is doing so well.
The only time I would sing in front of a crowd would be if I had too many cocktails
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jan 13
My daughter has been fighting anxiety for over 3 years, mostly it's around doing presentations at school, and with counseling she has learned to manage it. It's still there, but she can usually deal with it and go do what she needs to do.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
9 Jan 13
I do think that there are some situations in which we literally have to be trained to do something like to stand up in front of a group of people and give a presentation or something like this. I do, however, consider myself to be lucky that Kathryn has been able to overcome her hurdle on her own.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
21 Dec 12
I am also shy , but I had to learn to stand and male presentation in front of crowd so its not so bad . I learn that somethings I cannot control so I made presentation and act in front crowd if I have to .
She will get better , she is still a child and have a lot of way to go .
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
23 Dec 12
I agree I think she will definitely get better as she got older .
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 12
She did a beautiful job and I think if she is going to do that well with her first attempt, she is going to be a great performer when she gets a little bit older. She has a flair for it, she just really doesn't realize it just yet.
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
20 Jan 13
My son was a bit shy too when he was in kindergarten. He would give one word answers when asked by his teacher.
His teacher has just the remedy for this. They'd give thee floor to the students once in a while to tell stories. My son has had his chance, and he's started to overcome his shyness. His becoming comfortable with this 'talking in front' thing.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
24 Jan 13
I love that idea. That really is a good way to make children more comfortable with speaking in front of their peers.
@xocolatedrool (414)
• India
24 Jan 13
Give enough space to your child to grow, naturally. If she is slow to come out of her shell, give her time. Dont abandon her but nurture her. In the name of nurture dont put so much pressure on her performance that she will loose her mind just like many cases of severe parent pressure in Asia.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
12 Feb 13
I definitely don't pressure my daughter or my son to do things that they are really not all that comfortable with. In fact, I do have to say that I was shocked when Kathryn came home from school before the talent show and told me that she was going to try out to perform in the show.
@cher913 (25781)
• Canada
21 Dec 12
my daughter is 15 and quite shy which concerns me because she would like to go get a job but i am not sure if she would be able to handle the interview process. nice to hear that your daughter did alright. it must have taken lots of courage and bravery on her part.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 12
I would say that the best thing that you can do to work with your daughter on that is to practice with her. When she starts to get more comfortable "interviewing" in front of her family, you could see if you have a friend that she doesn't know very well that would be willing to practice with her as well.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Dec 12
I would say that this is one of the moments where I felt the most pride in my life. I mean I feel it all the time when teachers and such tell me that she is such a wonderful student and that she is very bright. However, to see her in front of so many people and sharing this gift with them was something for which I had a ton of pride.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
21 Dec 12
It's great that your daughter did well at the talent show.
You refer to her as "shy." Hopefully, you and other family members don't use that word in describing her in conversation--whether you think she can hear you or not.
Encouraging her to get involved in things--not just at school but within the community so that she can interact with a wide-range of people--will help her build her self-confidence so that she can grow into a strong, independent woman.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 12
Actually, Kathryn is the one that will mostly describe herself as being shy. It isn't that the family has referred to her as being shy, but she's heard her teachers and such say that she is a very shy girl.
I've been trying to get her involved in more things since she is getting a bit older. This year she is doing art club at school and she has also been selected as a Young Achiever at her school. I have nothing but pride for that young lady, she really is amazing.
@Metatronik (6198)
• Pasay, Philippines
21 Dec 12
I haven't experienced performing as what she did in solo manner it is always been with somebody else. Good thing as a kid she was able to make it because that is already a progress that she is willing to improve and gain more confidence in facing many other people. I don't have that kind of confidence and I've never been experiencing like talking or having speech in front of other people.
Good thing as a kid she was able to make it because that is already a progress that she is willing to improve and gain more confidence in facing many other people. I don't have that kind of confidence and I've never been experiencing like talking or having speech in front of other people. @dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 12
I really think that she did a wonderful job with her performance and I think that it took a lot of guts to sing in front of the entire school as well as at least 100 parents. She really does have a gift that she is just realizing that she has.
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
22 Dec 12
Congratulations Dora.. The achievement of a child, is a double achievement for you. I bet you were more nervous as soon as she stepped on the stage and held the microphone. and your heart almost went out of the ribcage. that's a great story for a child and experience she won't ever forget I am sure.
She overcame this shyness because you helped her believe in herself. you are one of the factors why she did it well.
Now, I stood in ovation for you. 
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Dec 12
Honestly, I didn't think of it as being an achievement for me, but I will admit that my heart could have burst with pride for her. She did such a good job and I know that this is something that she will probably continue doing in the future. I think that singing is really one of the many gifts that Kathryn has.
