A daughter already?

@ctryhnny (3460)
United States
December 26, 2012 7:39am CST
My sons baby is 10 months old and was born a month early because of some complication my d/i/l has with her calcium. She had a very difficult time giving birth and ended up having to have a c section. MY son is a stay at home Dad and his wife works as an aesthician (sp?) making pretty good money and they get by with just her working. Yesterday while I was playing with my grandson my son looked at me and said he wants a little girl and winked (whatever that meant). Of course my grandson is still in diapers and still very needy always looking for attention! As much as I don't like to tell them what to do I had to tell him that they need to wait until Alex is at least out of diapers and gettting around on his own. My son is 37 and his wife is 26 and their afraid their time for having children is close and they don't want to have an only child. My daughter in law just spent a week in the hospital because of her calcium problems. They don't seem to think about that when they think about having another child. So, I gave my advice and whatever they do is up to them. Do you think they should wait to have another child or go for it right away they way they want to?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
Your daughter in law is just 26. She's still young and will be very much capable of having a child, so she has to wait until she gets better. It's hard to have a small baby one after another. Although, since the dad is just a stay at home, she can let him take care of them while she works in case she gives birth to another.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
27 Dec 12
I think my son will always be a stay at home Dad no matter how many kids they have. I think all the years he worked in retail burned him out.
• Indonesia
27 Dec 12
they are adult people, so they can choose whatever they want.. I think she just trauma about her first birth. I have one daughter too, and she just 3 month years old. My wife told me that she does't want a baby any more because she feel very trauma about her fist birth.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
27 Dec 12
Yes, having babies can be a very traumatic experience for some reason. In time your wife will forget how bad it was and want another child. Just be patient and helful to her.
• United States
26 Dec 12
If they truly want a child, they can adopt once their first child is a little bit older. Given your daughter-in-law's health issues, it seems like an unnecessary burden on her physical health if she were to become pregnant again. However, that wink probably means that there is already another one on the way, and they are simply holding off on the announcement until she makes it through the first trimester.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
26 Dec 12
lol...I don't know what that wink is about but I truly doubt she is already pregnant. I don't think she would want to take the chance now and is very careful.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
26 Dec 12
I believe that they are mature people and can decide when to have a second child. Yet life is really hard to raise two children. I think when they are ready for this step napryavat matter what others think. and if there are many problems k about the status of the mother is better to have a second child know that every pregnancy brings certain risks. important thing is to be alive and healthy and they and the child. Universe Christmas!
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
26 Dec 12
As old as they are they really aren't very mature yet. They have a little way to go before they get there.
• United States
26 Dec 12
Tell them what your concern are. There's nothing wrong, its just that your worried and should listen to what your instinct is telling you. Mom knows best and I agree to that. My son is only two and a half year old and I have a good job (I am a chemist) and husband has a job too, although I wanted to have another baby, I didn't consider of having another baby anytime soon yet. I am still undecided. I consider things before having another baby like stability at home and other factors that id may affect if we have another baby soon. Or if we can handle it? I mean for me tell them how you feel and what you think. Who knows they will listen and will think about it before having another child. But as you said its always up to them.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
26 Dec 12
That's what I do...I tell them my thoughts and they know in the end it's up to them. All I can do is pray for them.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
26 Dec 12
I would just advise them to talk to their doctor. That is a medical decision but other than that, it is up to them to decide when they want another child. What is your decision is often you are willing to babysit or look after your grandchild. Or how much you are willing to help them out financially. The only choices you can make it this situation are your own choices. I had my three children close together because my husband and I married later than most couples. It just took us a long time to find each other. :) So, my kids are close together and I would not have traded that for anything else. We were able to do things together as a family as the kids were close enough in age to enjoy the same things at the same time. You can't advise them, you can offer your suggestions, but it is their decision. It is their turn to have and raise children and they need to do what they feel is best for them. Your job is just to give them lots of love and support.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
26 Dec 12
I too had my first two children close together but I was in good health which makes all the difference in the world. I would hope they talk to her dr.s first before doing anything rash. I think she is being careful.
@Pegasus72 (1898)
30 Jan 13
I think if they trust in God he will show the way.