is he being taken for a ride?

I think you friend have taken the wrong decision as such and he should have been kept in mind that when her so called ex boyfriend or father of her son is in the same town then surely she is going to meet him as their relationship is as it is even though they were separated. Your friend should be little strict with her so that she should come on line.

They just need to talk. Honestly and openly. He should ask her all his questions. If they agreed that there would be no direct communication between the ex and the wife, why are they communicating? That might be key to this problem. Is it something fixable? For example, did they start communicating again because the ex couldn't get information back-and-forth fast enough? Did messages get lost? This is a real concern for parents. If they are trying to set up visitations, he might find out he has time available in a day but the information doesn't get passed to the wife for a day - or never. That means this won't work. He has to make sure that if he is a go-between that he passes along all messages quickly. If on the other hand the communication started up again because one really wanted to talk with the other, then you have an entirely different issue. Maybe it's something else. Whatever, he needs to find out. There's nothing that can, or should, be done regarding the communication between the ex and her family. They have a relationship too. Her divorce didn't sever that connection anymore than the divorce severed the connection between the dad and the son. The divorce severed only one relationship. You cannot dictate to them who they can or can't see. I had a similar problem when I divorced my husband. He remained in contact with my dad. I wasn't happy about it. But I learned to live with it. Cutting off the dad isn't fair to the son. It's not even legal. Divorcing her before he has all the facts seems a bit extreme. If talking doesn't work, get outside help. Counseling can work wonders. Nothing has to be wrong with anybody to see a counselor. There are counselors that specifically help couples work through their problems. They help each person see the other's point of view. A good counselor won't take sides. It can only help.

Why is the wife not allowed to communicate with the father of her son? Unless the twof them have a violent past then I think it is very important for them to communicate in regards to their son. They may no longer be in a relationship together but they are still parents and need to work together for the best interest of the child. 3rd party communication isn't the best and especially if there are issues to discuss beyond just setting up a visit. That boy needs both parents.

Wow,such a complicate relationship... But from a outsider'point of view,your friend can be cool for all the son stuff and just let it go,no need to do some useless things,and I think all relate people can understand that.

I think he should ask her about everything, about the loss of the ring, the direct communication with her ex, and how she feels with the situation. The wife and the ex are in situation where they might be confused of what they feel now that they are apart from each other. Somehow they shared good memories back then and this can't be erased but your friend, if he plays this right, those memories can be replaced. For sure he is jealous and confused why his wife is acting like this, they should go for counseling to resolve this.