handling a child with dirty language.
By pomwango
@pomwango (1353)
Kenya
December 31, 2012 9:00am CST
my aunt came to visit with her 10 year old son.he has such bad language that am tempted to slap him.he called my help an ugly b**tch then went ahead to use obscene words at my neighbors son who he was playing with.The mother just down plays her son's behavior and the reprimand she gives him just looks superficial that even the boy seems to know.if the mother cant manage to discipline her child what can i do,in view such a kid will visit my home and i don't want him poisoning my kids and am also tempted to keep avoiding their visits to my home.advise me please.
3 people like this
14 responses
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
31 Dec 12
I would tell your aunt that you will not tolerate bad language in your home. And until she can control her son better, then perhaps it is best if you visit her or meet her at a restaurant to visit. Let her know that you have a standard and calling people obscene names is not tolerated.
It will probably cause some riff between you and your aunt by telling her your standard in your home, but you need to FIRST protect your children.
It was understood between me and one of my husband's nephews that I did not want him coming over to visit. He is older than my children and he was not living a good lifestyle while my children were young. So, he understood that he was not welcomed in my house. We are still communicating with him but at a safe distance.
So, my advise is to first protect your children.
1 person likes this
@heaytheblogger (2876)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
Sometimes kids who mentioned offensive languages are caused by the child's influence on what he/she sees.
this may include TV contents, Internet contents, or even adults and teenagers that the child sees doing swearing and inappropriate activities.
Parent's should consider telling their child at a very young age on what is right and what is wrong, since what a child sees is innocent and he/she doesn't know what he/she is talking so, the best way a parent should do is to give the kid guidance on such words. also, putting a strictful tone once a child mentioned such word may help the kid be frightened on what he/she uttered making it as a disciplinary action to correct the child.
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@heaytheblogger (2876)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
Yes you are right, it will take time for a child to divert his wrong activities most especially swearing in front of people since it's so normal for him to be that way because no one is correcting him. sometimes, being strict is part of disciplining a child.
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
Boy, he could be a bad influence to your kids and the neighbors' kids as well. Next time they schedule to come for a visit, have an excuse like you are going on a vacation or something to that effect. Whenever they tell you that they are visiting always make an excuse or have a way out. They should get the message then.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
31 Dec 12
A ten year old is more than old enough to understand that his words offend some people. It's not as though he is a toddler who heard mommy swear once and is just repeating it because he thinks it's like any other word!
Most ten year olds that I know will use language like that with their friends, but not with adults around. It is a shame that he tries to get attention like this. Maybe if you get some alone time with him you can ask him why he chooses to speak to people like that.
He may say something to you like: they're just words.
My reply is to say: yes, all words are just words, but if you use any words in a certain way, they can hurt other people, which is mean and disrespectful. You may not consider "garbage" to be a swear word, but if you tell the neighbor that the art project he worked on is garbage, you are sure using words to hurt people! And if you call the help a bad name, it is the same thing.
Tell him that in your house you are respectful to others, and you show that by avoiding language that most people find offensive. If he does not respect others, you will not respect him (like, you may forget to make a dessert for him come dinner time, or forget to buy him a birthday present because you don't respect him.)
Maybe he will come around, maybe not. It takes some people an awful long time to grow up.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
1 Jan 13
Thanks for your input.i think he is picking up alot of what he hears and i also believe he understands they are degratory words otherwise he would only use them when provoked or very angry,if he just walks up to you and abuses you he knows what he is doing.i will find time to teach him how to talk and behave with people.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
31 Dec 12
Tell the mother you do NOT allow such language in your home (or garden). Also tell that if she can't "control" her kid's language he is not welcome anymore. You can also tell the boy that you won't allow it. So if he is using it again in your house he has to leave.
@vinodkumar123 (50)
•
1 Jan 13
my neighbour come my house with her 12 year old son. he used a bad language for all of us. i am tempted to slap him. then he used wrong word for me. there is a problem with our environment there he meet with his friends. his friend are used very bad language to him,so he used that type of language. if you are not manage
that person to save her future from that type of childern and you can't go outside.
and you can't talk to anyone. when i see you with someone that is bad for you
thank you
"HAPPY NEW YEAR"
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
1 Jan 13
Your house. Your rules.
One of the best things about being a cousin, uncle, aunt, grandparent, godparent or other non-parent is that you can be the mean ogre and there are very few consequences.
If it were me, I'd give him a damned good earful and tell him he won't be allowed to play with anything or anyone if he's rude like that. No sweets, no bonuses, nothing.
And if his mother doesn't like it, she can take him somewhere else to play. Obnoxious brats are the result of bad parenting - she needs to learn that.
@kyle2krystel (2489)
• Japan
1 Jan 13
That is ridiculous and sad that a mother cannot dicipline her child! We have no kids yet but we have lot of young cousins aging around 4-9 years old. They are really perky and naughty but I never hear them any bad words! I would be really piss too if ill around with that kind of kid. I don't like kids that are grown up without dicipline and that should be done at home and a mother should teach their child of of discipline. So sad to hear such thing.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
31 Dec 12
when children have no education so sadly.
worst case is that parents allow their children to speak such profanity.
However, this child will one day fall in the street, and these features will help.
and I happened to my child crap but I always scold or beat him a slap and he just unlearn.
Yet we are the parents responsible for children's behavior and the formation of their character.
good discussion.
Happy new year!![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
1 Jan 13
Wow just a ten years old little kid,so I think it still can be adjusted by his parents,so I think you need to talk to their parents and if they can not accept your opinion,I think you really can not allow this kid to your house.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
1 Jan 13
Hate to hear that, problem is kids hear that kind of talk from older kids and even from adults everyday. So they think its ok, for them to use it as well. One needs to it them don and explain to those kids why those words are bad and not to be used. Good luck there. happy new years.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
Kids must not tolerated with their bad mouth or language. At an early age they must be taught good language and must be corrected. Parents should be the example to their children because children learns so easily from the things they saw and heard , might be they speak bad words because the parents are uttering same. Parents are the first teachers , that is why only desirable and moral things must be shown and done. They must never forget their responsibilities to the kids. So shameful that whatever children heard and saw in family , children brings it outside. Thats is why to be a parents calls for great responsibilities because you are molding a child , the future hope of the nation !
@summer0614 (334)
• China
31 Dec 12
We teachers always belive this sentence-a child is the shadow of his parents.There are really a lot of students in my school who usually speak dirty words.But if you call their parents,you may find that most of their parents even more awful.Just stay away from that kind of person.
@sunshinesophie (794)
• China
31 Dec 12
The only way is keeping away from them.But I cannot imagine how he will be when he grows up if he becomes more and more rude and coarse.It is related with his education and living environment.His parents indulge him too much.
![](/Content/images/loading.gif)