What makes people cheat on their significant other?

Penrith, Australia
January 1, 2013 7:52pm CST
I have this friend who was sharing a story about her family. Everything was okay and going well when one day, her father, a lawyer, admitted that he was having an affair. He wouldn't say her identity or how long they have been swing each other but he did say in a very calm voice "I am having an affair. I'm sorry. I still love you but... I can't stay anymore." her mother replied "I'm having an affair too. I still love you though, I'm sorry." After that, the lawyer left and was never seen again. How many people are like the lawyer? In another discussion, I asked under what circumstances would make you tell your partner you cheated, now I want to know what is it that makes people cheat on their partners. So, what do you say? Do you know someone who is a cheater? Are you currently cheating? Have you ever cheated? What made you cheat? Would you do it again?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Jan 13
I do not want to justify the mistake that I have done in the past. But what I felt was far different that what might others think about me. When a person feels being neglected for so long, doesn't feel being valued in any way, that person looks for an outlet to make himself/herself happy. But it doesn't mean looking for a "replacement". Just something to veer away your thoughts from pain and sadness. But unfortunately, certain things happen. And before you now it, you have fallen in love with another person. And what makes it harder is that you would feel that the new person is the only person that would actually give you the satisfaction that you want in a relationship- not in an intimate way, but just letting you feel how important you are.
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@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
I don't think it is possible to love two persons at the same time. I was actually falling out of love from my current partner that time and have completely fallen over the new guy. I told him about it after almost 2 years.
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• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
How did it feel like the moment you know you are cheating?
• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
It's okay, there are no right or wrong answers here. In fact, that's what I wanted to know. :) I see that none of it started intimately. If you dont mind, did you still love your current partner when you were being too close to the new person? Did you tell your partner right away about your situation?
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@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
2 Jan 13
I think that one of the reason would be that they no longer love that person or that person they can't stand to be with any more so they have found something new and they like the new person altogether. My step father cheated on my mother and well he told me that the main reason that he cheated on her was because she was always nagging him all the time and was always negative with him all the time. He couldn't take it any more and he wanted out of the relationship. So he went to find someone else and cheated on her. I think like this though, if you don't want to be with someone any more then why are you going to cheat on them, why not tell them hey I don't want to be with you any more its just that simple right. I have never cheated on any one if I didn't want to be with them any more, then I just told them, that I did not cheat on them. I have been cheated on though and it is the worse feeling in the world especially when you really like that person.
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• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
Oh that's sad. :( that's true though, the importance of dating people before you marry them, you have to get to know them well if you are planning to spend your whole life with them. But it's sad cause he could have just told your mom that he couldn't stand that kind of behavior. Cheating with another woman doesn't fix anything. I think when your mom found out about the cheating, she probably felt so bad and insecure. And insecurity can make people act worse. I've been cheated on too. I thought I was going to be crazy. :( Anyway, I don't think it's purely your moms fault that your stepfather cheated on her. He must have done some things too, it's takes two to tango, doesn't it? What do you think?
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
2 Jan 13
I really wouldn't know how or why they would be able to feel that there is a need to find other men or women when they are already attached. I have never cheated on a partner, I have been cheated on by my ex and I think his reason was he got close to the woman and the woman just would'nt leave his side and they will spend an awful lot of time together and she is not willing to let go. So I guess that is when he started to cheat on me, when he gets attention from another, the one that he has not been able to have with me because obviously we do not have much time together.
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• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
That's true, some women can be real opportunists in terms of getting the person they want. It's very sad that they would involve themselves with people who are committed and unavailable. Did he tell you he cheated though or you found it out on your own? Do you think he wanted to cheat on you?
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
2 Jan 13
I think many people cheat because there is something in their relationship that they are missing, they want to get out, or just want to experience being with another person. Either way cheating is bad. When I was younger I had friends who would cheat on their partner. It always leads to bad things.It is best to stay faithful.
• United States
4 Jan 13
Often times they did cheat on purpose. Most people know what they are doing when they cheat, they just don't care to stop themselves. Of course their relationships ended and now there life is a little less chaotic. But it often lead to a lot of bad feelings.
• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
If you don't mind, what bad things happened to your friends? Do you think they cheated on purpose?
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• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
Did the people who cheated cheated again in their next relationships?
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• Philippines
2 Jan 13
I'd never cheated and never ever want to cheat my partner... My husband though never cheated on me too and hope he will never ever too. But I know some people who cheated their partner. What makes them cheating? Well, temptation, fall out of love, and the big factor is their outlook in life. I do believe that principles really matters... Sometimes, a cheater will always be a cheater. I had a boyfriend then and he cheated on me, at his first cheating I forgive him but after just a matter of months he cheated me again so I decide to break our relationship. He got married but they got separated because his wife cheated on him too and he is cheating also... Well, that explains that cheating is part of behavior.
• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
Congratulations on having a successful marriage. :) that's quite rare nowadays, I know so many couples who have separated because of cheating. That's try too about cheating being an innate part of the person and his perspective and how he was brought up. That's what happens when their parents aren't prepared yet to have a family and theyre not able to take care of their children properly and teach then the values they need when theyre older. This generation is full of those cases too. It's sad. Do you think it's possible for then to change though? Like become a better person completely and not revert to old ways?
• Philippines
2 Jan 13
Cheating is actually part of a relationship. You are tempted to do it so. There are instances that either you or your partner may feel uncomfortable or tiered of what kind of relationship you are having in the moment. I know someone who is a cheater and I'm also a cheater but I know the limitations when you want to have another affair. No one is perfect.
• Penrith, Australia
4 Jan 13
If you don't mind, how long were you together? how did you cheat in each other? Like how did it start? What triggered the cheating? Did you still love your partner when you were cheating?
@lampar (7584)
• United States
4 Jan 13
I think it is the 'lust' inside some people's heart make them cheat on their partners. No, i am not currently cheating, i never ever cheated before yet.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
2 Jan 13
Seduction, boredom, and find a new meaning in life; all these elements might drive a person to cheat on their significant other. I am not into a relationship yet, but when I was with my ex, I also have such concept to cheat on her, as long as she didn't find out, that will be fine. I might as well just have a brief affair, nothing serious. Maybe that is why our relationship never work out eventually.
2 Jan 13
The root of the problem is not that easy to find sometimes.Every relationship goes through weak moments of unhappiness where cheating could happen. Always just talk to your partner if your unhappy let it be known. People tend to give up to easy on relationships.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
2 Jan 13
Hi, I don't cheat for that matter, I find it hard to do against the words I have said during the moment of commitment. If I do so, I feel like a lesser person, unable to stand up to the promises I have made. True, weakness is always a part of me but I find it a personal triumph to rise above it, to be able to resist the temptation to do it.