Did you figth back with your mother?

Philippines
January 9, 2013 7:30pm CST
As a mother, our responsibility to our daughter is to protect them in many ways. My friend was so upset when her mother discovered that she had a boyfriend because her mother don't want her to have a boyfriend. Her mother was so angry and yelling in front of her boyfriend. She cannot avoid to fight back to her mother. Is that right to fight back to your mother even if your mother is right or wrong?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
It is never okay to fight back to our mothers in whatever situation we might be in. We should always stick in our minds to have the respect that our mothers deserve. Our mothers could be wrong in judging or in assuming sometimes, but what we should do is to let her finish what she has to say then we try to explain to her our side of the story. That is how I want my children to treat me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Well, you are right, but her mother didn't want to listen her explanation because what is her rule is a rule. She think that she don't have any right to say something about her situation, her feelings. She is 18 years old and she wants to her mother to understand her feelings.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I guess, that at 18, her mother should have respected what she has to say. I mean she is old enough to really understand what is going on around her. I hope her mother would learn to listen and start seeing her daughter as a grown up woman and not the child at three.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
In my own opinion it's never right to fight back to our mother or parents especially if they only trying to protect us but it's also not right for a mother to yell her child in front of other people. I think they both need to sit down to talk about the situation try to figure out what the best thing to do that making a scene in front or others.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Thanks for your opinion, you are absolutely right. If you don't want your daughter to go with her boyfriend, you have to talk to her one on one. As a daughter, it is not good also to fight back with your mother because all she wants is the good future of her daughter. But yelling in front of her boyfriend is not good also.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
I think that in general terms, we should not fight back or avoid fighting back any of our parents. However, there are circumstances that may actually provoke the children to fight back. If your friend is already in a position to have a boyfriend like she's 26 years old and is ready to have a family, then it would not be good for parents to really too protective or block their children's welfare. The parents though, may prohibit their children to be in a serious relationship when they know they aren't ready for starting a family. We need to weigh all the facts presented on both sides to make a wise decision on a particular matter in relation to relationships.
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• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Sometimes there are any reasons why children were fight back to their parents. Maybe our attitude as a parent, sometimes we don't understand their feelings. Some children or daughter specially when they are in the age of going out with guys or suitors will need to be guided. And some parents also specially mothers, they don't want to understand the feelings of their daughter. We just have also to listen to them and try to understand what they feel as a teenager but we are also in a right way to talk to them not by yelling.
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@AkamaruKei (5204)
• Malaysia
14 Jan 13
It is not good things if we fight with our mother. Without mother we not born in this world. Maybe your friend mother just worried about her daughter and want her to find a good guy because most guy right now like to cheat a girl.
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
It is not really right. When I had a boyfriend before my mother did not like him. I did not retort him when she was angry with me. We need to listen to our parents. They really know what is best for us most of the times.
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
That is the right way, edvc77. For me, I am a mother and I have a teenagers also and I only talk to them about of having a boyfriend or girlfriend and sometimes I feel upset but they don't fight back to me.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
10 Jan 13
If your friend is legal age in your country and she lives away from home, then she can stand up to her mother. If your friend is still a minor and still living with her mother, then she will have to just accept her mother's rules. Two wrongs never make a right. So, one person yelling does NOT mean that another person needs to yell back. What is that poor boyfriend going to think? Both his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mother are yelling. He is going to think that 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'. If you don't know what this expression means, it means 'like mother, like daughter'. It means that the children end up being just like their parents. Sometimes parents can teach wise and wonderful things to their children, sometimes, sadly, children have to learn wisdom and understanding NOT from their parents. Does your friend want to be like her mother? It is never right to fight back but it is never right to be walked over either. There isn't much your friend can do when she is still a minor and living at home, except to not yell back. But once, she is old enough and living on her own, she can then, hopefully, make some wise decisions about having a boyfriend.
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Thank you ZoeJoy, your opinion is absolutely right. My friend is 18 years old and she is now living with her mother. The fact that she had a bad experience with her mother. When she was a child she was left to her grandmother and when she was grown up, her mother get her back and maybe they had a gap between mother and daughter because of the long time they are not together. Her mother is very protective to her daughter and that the daughter don't understand. She is planning now to run away because she don't understand her mother's attitude.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
11 Jan 13
I was lucky to have grown up in the era that I did. The nearest that I ever came to having even a disagreement with my mother was over something that I failed to do, like throwing my wraps on the kitchen table instead of taking them to my room and hanging them up. In fact, when I had a disagreement with my father, she usually would take my side, but not openly in front of me, of course. I am sure that my mother's sweet disposition had a lot to do with the lack of arguments.
@marguicha (214842)
• Chile
10 Jan 13
There are different ways to disagree with our parents (and with anyone else). Depending on the age of the daughter, I´d say the mother should not fight wuth her daughter,specially in front of other people. I would fight back to my mother if it was needed. But there´s no need to yell.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
I cannot blame the mother for scolding her daughter in front her boyfriend. I am also a mother and I don't want my daughter to keep any secret from me (if possible) but I know it could happen no matter how close we are with our kids. I cannot blame the daughter for shouting back to her mom also-(for a different reason) In my opinion, I will wait till the guy leaves or ask my daughter to have a talk at home. I don't want my daughter to hate me for scolding her in front of her boyfriend.
@5mahi05 (666)
• India
10 Jan 13
Irrespective of whether our mothers are right or wrong, we all fight back with our mothers and shout at her for even little and simple small things. That is basically because we for sure know that she will forgive us, or rather we just take her lightly knowing that she would come back to us no matter what we do and how hard we behave with her. That is the goodness of every mother on this earth and that is the advantage that every daughter/son takes on his/her mother. At the end of the day, we all know for sure that our mom will be there for us irrespective of whether we have succeeded in our deeds or lost out completely. In case of your friend, rather than fighting, she could speak with her mom and may be convince her that the guy is worth it. That is the only way to solve her problem. Fighting never solves the problem anyday.
• China
10 Jan 13
When i was young and not mature, I would have quarrel with my mother, but now, I am not. Because i know that we love each other so deeply that we can't hurt each other any more. I will listen to her advice carefully and discuss with my mother when there is a dispute.
• United States
11 Jan 13
You gotta let the mom blow off her steam. Try coming back and talking about it in a more calm setting. We did not fight with our mothers because, well, for lack of better words,........."we knew better".
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
We should not fight back to our mother, they only want whats best for us, even if sometimes they can or might be wrong. However, I am sure your friend did not mean to fight back, but maybe because her Mother yelled at her in front of her boyfriend, she got embarrased and answered back without meaning too. Im sure she will realize it soon or in time. Sometimes we reason out to our Parents, I do, not on a mad voice, still keeping the respect or when she is calm already, then i do say what i feel. But yes, we need to keep our respect to our parents.
@fzxxcy (20)
• China
11 Jan 13
In my opinion,we should think about this problem in two side.But whenever we can't fight back with our mother,because we can't hurt the one who want to protect us all the time. Firstly,in mother's side,as a mother,they will try best to protect their children to make sure they will not be hurt by anything,they hope the children will grow up with good health,have a bright future.So sometime they will do some improtant decision to protect them,but always upset them,since they are using the wrong ways or wrong words,for this they should be more patience to persuade the child,finially I think maybe the child can understand them in future and will appreciate mother's protect. Secondly,in child's side,your firend is 17 years older and fall in love with the guy,so love can blind her eyes.I am not meaning the love is not good,but we should do suitable thing in suitable age? Don't we? If you stick in your mind or you will be regret for the decision you had made today!If you really deep in love with the man,you can talk with your mother to see if both of you can think of a better to solove this issue,Calm down and have a good commincation with mother is very improtant. Good luck to your friend.. Joanna