I miss him so bad!

@chicgale (2982)
Philippines
January 13, 2013 6:27am CST
This is the first time that I am in a long distance relationship. We are together for 5 months, and last January 3, he left the country to work as a Seafarer. I knew about his job before we were together and I thought I'll be ok when he's gone. Well, yes, I know that I will miss him, but I thought I will not miss him this bad. I didn't see him since December 28 and until now, I am still crying from loneliness and I really really miss him so much! And yeah, I am crying right now too while writing this discussion. I know I am being too drama about it but I just don't know what to do. I am trying to go out but still when I get home, loneliness will strike again. UGH! What am I gonna do? This is really hard for me. I will not see him for 10 months to 1 year. I know time will pass quickly, but that is too long for me! Anyone here who experienced or who's currently in a long distance relationship? How do you deal with it? What did you do when you miss your bf or gf? :-)
1 person likes this
18 responses
@hereandthere (45987)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
it's so much easier if someone is land-based, isn't it, because even if overseas, you can call and skype anytime, just coordinate your schedule. but when sea-based you're both dependent on the signal and if they're docked somewhere, so it's really hit or miss. yet when you think about all the other families who have gone through the same thing, like 15, 20 years ago, communication was even harder so we're still luckier, aren't we? the most you can do is keep busy, whether it's earning money, finding new hobbies, travelling, meeting new friends, helping your parents and siblings. by the way, how is your daughter? when you say people ruining your relationship, is it because of legal impediments?
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I meant I am NOT their high school batch mate.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
i'm glad your daughter is okay. does she miss your ex-partner? yes, their reaction is understandable, you're a stranger to them and i bet they're hoping for "a happy ending". but also i bet none of them have perfect families either. anyway, what's important is you're living a decent life, earning your own money, raising your child well, no vices, not flirting around with men you hardly know. be pleasant enough if you see them, but don't worry too much about them either. anytime they want to bait you, you don't have to bite.
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@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Yes, she miss my ex-partner. She sends him email sometimes. And me and ex-partner are in civil, so everything is fine. :-) I miss him too sometimes. My daughter like my boyfriend right now also, and they also get along with each other. Yes, you are right about my boyfriend's friends. I am not mad or angry at them at all. :-)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
My daughter's oldest cousin has same situation as yours.Her husband works a sea fairer and they only see each other 1 to 2 a year. and it's been 5 years If I am not mistaken they are in a longdistance relationship only their contact is Skype an facebook.and now they have 2 kids already and their relationship still goes strong . so as long as you keep in touch to each other love will always be there.It's hard at first but later on it will never be a problem as long as everyday if it's possible you have a communication with each other.I also have neighbors and some people I know whom more than a couple of decade that Their husband workes as a seafairer and now already retired and just receiving their pension and they are lived together. They are grandfather and grandmother now.
2 people like this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you for sharing feralessgara. I hope that our relationship will go strong. I have a couple friends also that their husbands are a seafarers also. Yes, they told me that it was hard at first. For me, it is scary coz we are not married yet and there are some problems in our relationship. Like there are some people who are trying to ruin our relationship. All I have to do is keep praying for our relationship coz I believe that we can make this work.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9471)
• United States
14 Jan 13
Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time with your partner being gone. I can imagine how difficult that would be. I have a hard time when my husband is gone for long periods of time and he doesn't even travel for days or anything like that. How long will he be away? I hope that he will be back soon. It is best to keep yourself very busy. When you get home try and get to bed and get your rest. This way time goes by faster and you are also able to rest.
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@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you Dominique. He will be gone for 10 months to 1 year. huhuhuhuhu That is very long for me. I should get my business going soon so that I will get busy.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jan 13
Wow. I'm so sorry to hear that. That is indeed a very long time. I would be very sad as well if my husband had to go away for that long. Hope that you are able to get things going with your business and that will keep you focused. I hope that this year will fly by for you.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Yes, it is very a long time. :-(
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Hi Chic, You said he is gone since Dec. 28 and not even a month yet right. I am sure it will not be easy for you, and for sure you will keep missing him of course. But fe more months and you get use to him away and you started doing other stuff to keep yourself busy, it will be okey. You just have to find other things to do to keep you busy rather than sit there and cry. Going out with your friends is good idea as well, you will be okey, just give it more time and remember he is coming back. It will not be easy but it will be okey. Can i ask what is your means of communication, do you chat, or just phone calls?
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you so much Pia for the comment. Yes I know it's not a month yet. :-( He kept telling me before he left that I will be OK after a week coz I will get used to it, but it's not. I am just hoping that I will not miss him this much soon. I tried to keep myself busy and don't even think of him, but everytime I wake up or before I go to sleep, I can feel that he was thinking of me too! And everytime (not just happened once) that I am crying or starting to miss him so bad, he texted me or called me which is a good sign for me. :-) We don't chat yet coz they don't have a signal yet. He texted me sometimes and he called me sometimes. I am waiting for him to see him on skype. I send him text messages everyday on his roaming number and I am hoping that he gets it.
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Your Welcome! Yes i am sure it is not easy being away with him but yes you will get used to it but missing him or someone that you loved and way is really normal. However, it will lessen the pain once you get to see him on skype or chat with him, it wont feel so far anymore, and time flies so fast when you have connection like that. Long distance relationship is not really easy, Ive been in one before, there should be a contant communication or it wont last.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Yes, that is true. I hope to see him online soon! I can't wait to see him on skype.
@mensab (4202)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
when i miss my partner, what is do is go out and explore new places. when i go out with my friends. if the thoughts about my partner linger, then i start to write about those thoughts. i start with good memories, those times when we had the greatest happiness. in this way, i am able to think about his presence rather than his absence in my life.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you for sharing mensab. He kept telling me to just keep myself busy and he is sure that I will get used to it or will be OK after a week. But it's been more than 2 weeks already and I am still feeling the same. :-( But I am glad that he sent me text message sometimes and called me 3 times already. But still I can't call him anytime I want or anytime I needed to talk to him coz sometimes he doesn't have signal and they have different destination.
• Indonesia
14 Jan 13
I haven't been in long distance relationship. So I don't have experience. But I know what is mean if we miss somebody so much. you know? I know you have distance relationship with him but you can call him right? or text massaging with him? or maybe chat with him through webcam right? you have technology now that you can still have communication with him for reduce you miss. So I think you should use this technology. call him or chat with him.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Yes, we can send text messages or call but not all the time coz it is depends on the signal since he is working in a ship. We didn't see each other online yet coz they don't have signal yet. But, he said that he might get online this week hopefully.
@gaiza12 (4885)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
I can surely relate and understand how you feel because I too am in a long distance relationship. I haven't been with my bf for almost 3 years now and I can say that the first few months are the hardest times of all. I can say it's normal to cry because I did cry almost all night for 6-12 months. The only difference if I get to see him online almost everyday, I guess it will be hard for you to do that type of communication because he's work is at the sea. I tried dealing with it by going out with friends, doing activities that will keep me occupied and just having fun try to keep myself busy so I won't be thinking of us being apart all the time. Just hold on have faith and keep the trust. Good luck with you
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
Thank you for sharing gaiza!! Yes, I am having a hard time of adjusting it. I really miss him so much..
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
15 Jan 13
I am. The only thing I can say is that you will manage like most of us. It takes time to find yourself back, to live your life as a single person till the moment you meet again (might be difficult for some days as well). The most important thing is you keep having a (part of a) life of your own. With your own family/friends/goals. Otherwise you won't be able to manage. I keep myself busy, have plenty of things to do, the rest is texting (calling is too expensive).
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@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
That is true! Thank you for sharing.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
i had been on your shoes before. it was an endless drama but trust me, as time goes by you'll get used to it. the days you had been counting wont feel so long as before. as of now there are lots of ways to communicate with him despite of your distance. email him regularly and tell him how much you miss him. you will surely make him more inspired to work harder :) i wish you all the best :)
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you so much Jamie. Yes, I will do that. I will send him messages everyday, and I am sure he will get it when he got a signal.
@jillhill (37371)
• United States
14 Jan 13
Well for starters try to keep busy...don't sit around thinking about it. I would find a hobby that interests me. Something constructive! Like taking up some sort of art work of craft. I know it's hard. My daughters are married to military men and sometimes they are gone for quite a while...do you get to contact him much? Talk on the phone or skype?
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I think keeping myself busy is the only thing to do. He called me sometimes when they are on the port or when they have signal. I haven't chat with him on skype yet, hopefully he will get online this week.
@shahmi (81)
• Sri Lanka
14 Jan 13
If we lost our loved once we get upset not only about bf or gf including our family members also I can tell you about that hapend to my sister When my father was abroad she cries for 2 weeks. Now we can communicate with every one from internet and telephone. I think he has gone like that because thinking of your future. So you don't loss your love with your bf. You can do some job if you are free then you can reduse your sad
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@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Yes that it true. This is for our future.
• Leesburg, Georgia
14 Jan 13
When my husband went out of town for work for a while I made sure to keep myself very busy all the time. The minute I stopped doing things I would feel really sad and lonely again. I would go out as much as possible and when I got home I would clean or be here, anything to keep my mind busy...
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you for your comment. Yes, I think I should get busy soon. All I am doing right now is read all his past sms messages from me and thinking about the times we were together. And everytime I hear a sad songs, it made cry again..
14 Jan 13
same here I also miss my boyfriend but unlike you he's just within the country but living in province from my country. he comes here in the city every twice a month, usually send him some messages from his Facebook and e-mail and tell him how much I miss him or even wrote a letter (old fashion yet effective) to express how much I miss him telling him what I love most when were together our favorite stuffs to do. Try to have a sports or things you wanna do to switch your loneliness or meet your friends, it's also your time to have some bonding with your friends so that you can have share also some good things when you meet again
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I wish my bf is just province away coz I can call him anytime I want. But being as a seafarer, I cannot call him or text him when I needed him coz it will be depending on the signal. I have to wait until they dock. :(
@laken02 (3066)
• United States
13 Jan 13
this guy is very lucky to have some one who cares so much about him and is willing to wait.. will u be able to contact each other thur e-mail or mail letters or maybe phone calls.. (not sure what a seafarer is) do u have freinds you can keep in touch with and discuss him with i know that helps alot.. or maybe an online freind where you can talk about how much u miss him and stuff.. i currently like a guy he is long distance and we have not met he told me a couple weeks ago that we lived to far yet he says he is still very attracted to me.. and we still talk on occasion.. so who knows what will become of it.. but it is still hard.. thank God i have good frinends i can talk to about it and him.. it helps just talk.. good luck..
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@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you laken. He is working in a ship. The problem is, I cannot call him anytime I want. I am always here waiting for his message and phone calls coz it will be depend on their signal. If they are travelling for 2 weeks, we won't have communication for 2 weeks depending on the signal. :-( I am just hoping to be strong and I am hoping that our relationship will last long despite on the distance. Anyway, good luck to your long distance guy.
• China
13 Jan 13
Believe me,you will get used to it sooner or later.Because you two just are parted,so you don't be accustomed to this way and time will help you relieve the tough feeling.I really know the long distance relationship is not easy.You cannot see him easily and even don't know how is his life there.But if you are confident enough to him,try to take it easy and distract your attention to other things.I really hope you can keep this relationship with him always.Best wishes to you.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you so much for the nice comment! Yes you are right about how hard is long distance relationship. All I have to do is just be strong and keep myself busy. I hope I will get use to it soon, and I am hoping that our relationship will get stronger even we are far from each other.
@jaiho2009 (39184)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Don't worry, like what you wrote time flies that fast. It's normal to feel lonely at this time (it's barely a month) Keep yourself busy to avoid the loneliness and I am sure there are means to communicate with each other while he is away.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you jai. Yes, I will try to keep myself busy. The problem is when times that I wanted to call him, I can't reach him coz they don't have signal. He called me 2 days ago for only 3 minutes coz his signal was on and off coz the ship was running. All I have to do is wait for his call all the time. And I am praying everyday and hoping that I will be strong.
@jagjit273 (1753)
• India
13 Jan 13
I wish l would have a loving partner like you. I was in a long distance relationship 2 years back. But now i think its over as she has no time for me, to talk to me, to reply my emails. I think you should be in touch with him through sms, emails or even call him up when ever u miss him or get chance to talk to him. May god bless you , your love.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Thank you for your comment jag. Sorry to hear about your long distance relationship. We can't send sms and call each other often since he is working on a ship coz it will be depend on their signal. He said sometimes we cannot communicate each other for like 2 weeks or even a month or more depending on their destination. I am just hoping that he can get signal soon. I haven't heard from him for 2 days now and the last time I spoke with him was only 3 minutes coz the ship was moving and his signal was on and off. All I have to do is pray and be strong.
@edvc77 (2142)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I experienced that he is a seafarer too. We've been friends for ten years and all throughout I just missed him so much then. At times he would call or send messages when he was on dock. It was kind of hard to have that kind of relationship. If you were really closed you would terribly miss the person. What I did, I just move on with my life and I get used to it. Have a nice day!
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you for sharing. Yes, on our 5 months together, we see each other almost everyday and last week of November until December 28, we started living together.
@asliah (11140)
• Philippines
7 Apr 13
for me its really hard to deal with long distance relationship because your enemy here is your feelings,and you can not avoid to feel missing,though there are ways to have communication with that person still its different when you with that person.