Shoul I quit my part time job?

Philippines
January 13, 2013 4:10pm CST
I work 14 hours a day. I just got a part time job as an ESL teacher in another company. I accepted it because I like to be exposed with different nationalities like Taiwanese, Turkish, Arab, Japanese, Koreans, Swiss and Spanish then a Russian student. Isn't it interesting? Without working abroad, I can meet foreign students and learn something about their culture. I enjoy teachibg and I love what I am doing. The salary isn't enough but I am happy in it. But the problem is that my new Arab student confessed that he liked me wanted me to be his gf. I told him I have a boyfriend already. He is making me uncomfortable in the class and I hate it. Since I started working here, most of my male students liked me and they were all making me uncomfortable. As a result, we end up not friends anymore or not talking to each other. And i hate that. Iwant to keep a good relationship and friendship. I hate it. Now, should i quit this job? I do not inderstand. I am jyst teaching very hard for them. Now he is bothering me. (sigh)
1 person likes this
13 responses
@ZoeJoy (1393)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Best to stay very professional as you are their teacher and they are your students. They need to understand that. So dress modestly, tie your hair back - yes, that will help them not be attracted to you. And also, realize that you can NOT be friends with your students - male or female. You are a professional and must maintain a business relationship with your students. Same if you were their doctor or dentist, it is a professional relationship, not a friendship. Perhaps, you have crossed the 'line' between being a teacher and being a friend. You can not be both. So, only meet them in the classroom. Be sure that you never meet with a male student by yourself. That doesn't matter what country that they come from. It is for your protection and for both of your reputations. Maintain a dignified and professional attitude. Perhaps, talk to your Principal about what is going on in your class, to seek professional understanding about how to maintain a good teacher/student relationship with ALL your students. Good luck.
@dpk262006 (58718)
• Delhi, India
14 Jan 13
Hi tess! Should it be taken as a compliment or something else that your students want you to be their girl friend.. It appears that you evoke much interest in them and you remain center of attraction while teaching them, therefore, they are drawn towards you. (It means you are very charming and beautiful) You should be strict and bold as a teacher and need to show your emotions. You should keep a distance from them. If you start mingling with them thinking that your friendly manner will help them understand, then they might take it otherwise. If you want to continue in this profession, you will have to remain neutral. All the best.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Maybe you are right. I am too much friendly to them. I teach them so hard. I showed them my passion in teaching and how I wanted them to learn. And they told me they appreciate that. They said I am kind and smart. I'm a good teacher. I am cute and sweet. I just teach them in a friendly way where they would feel comfortable with me. That's all. Maybe my being too kind and friendly is wrong. I should be more strict and never show too much friendliness. Anyway, this morning. I was trying to be strict. I didn't smile. I was very serious and gave lots of activities. That's it. And it was good. I don't know if he finds me boring well i think that would be better. I'm a teacher not just somebody.
@dpk262006 (58718)
• Delhi, India
15 Jan 13
I understand that your were too friendly with them while teaching and they probably took your friendly gesture otherwise. It would be better if you remain strict, this will help keep a distance between you and your students. Let them feel boring if they feel so, but they should not allowed to cross the limits between a teacher and a student.
@allen0187 (56730)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
hi there tess_quinain. i think you shouldn't quit your job because of your students who are giving you problems. rather, it is best to report these erring students to your boss so they will handle with them instead. anyway, do keep us updated and hopefully everything pans out right for you. cheers!!!
@turbopt (74)
• Portugal
13 Jan 13
What a movie here You shoulnd´t quit a job just because of others, maybe try to change that student to another class. If can´t do that, just be professional and never give confidence
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
My first Turkish student is not talking to me just because I told him I didnt like him. My first Arab student is ignoring me, sort of because I told him to change teacher and he did. He was probably hurt by what I said. My Japanese student is my boyfriend now. And I surely love and like him and he is coming back in my country for us to meet again. Anyway, thanks. I always try to be proffessional. I always wear decent clothes with glasses. But one time my previous student gave me an unsual stare. I didnt feel good so I went out and gave him an activity to do. I am not use to this situation so its difficult for me to handle but then this is all a challenge! I can do this!!
• Greece
14 Jan 13
As a former EFL teacher I can understand why you love teaching English to foreign students but it is a little disturbing that some of the young men are getting personal in their attitudes. It is easy for someone from a different culture to get the wrong idea about a female when she is just being friendly and helpful. You need to bear this in mind because it may be that you are giving the wrong message,with either your body language or your manner of communication. You may be concerned in case you risk losing a few students but it is necessary for you to be very professional with your classes. I suggest that you ask to sit in with another teacher and see how formal or informal she is and watch the class and see how they react. That may help you to analyse what is happening to you in your classroom. Alternatively you could speak to another ESL teacher who is more or less your age and see how she handles things.
• Greece
14 Jan 13
The other thing that has just occurred to me is that you should take care of how you dress. Definitely dress down. Dress soberly and bear in mind that some male students come from countries where women cover themselves from head to toe in extreme cases. Many women will cover their arms and legs.
• Antipolo, Philippines
1 Jan 15
Hi. Where in the Philippines are you located? Probably you might want to try in-home tutorials or online tutoring. You can check our website: Happy New Year!
@cutepenguin (6433)
• Canada
14 Jan 13
I am not certain that you should be dating a student, or trying to be friends with students. Obviously, how you manage your career is up to you, but it might be a smoother path for you if you separate your job from your personal life and don't try to be friends with your students.
• United States
14 Jan 13
You are so friendly toward your students that they feel free to hit on you? There is something seriously wrong with this picture. You are obviously not keeping things professional enough with your students if "most" of your male students are overly interested in you. You should quit the job. It does not sound as though it is an appropriate fit for you at this juncture in your life.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
14 Jan 13
You may have made the mistake of expecting your students to be your friends. No. You are their teacher first and you must always be professional. How could you even let a student ask you to be his GF? A line must be drawn between student and gteacher. You are not talking to some of yur students? Thin about what is going on here. I respectfully suggest that you must change your stance and be a teacher and a teacher only to these students. I wish you success because it will now be doubly hard for you to teach them but I do hope that you succeed.
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
Try to assess the situation first. As you said, you like doing what you are doing right now. Although payment is not good, still your hear is in it. But if you think that you can concentrate because of the situation, you could quit your current job and try to find another job of the same nature.
@ARIES1973 (11472)
• Legaspi, Philippines
24 Jan 13
Hi Tess! You should have made it clear with your class that you are not allowed to have any relationship with anybody because that is against the rule. But since it happened already, what you can do for now is to tell them in a nice way that you cannot have any other relationship. It only happens because you gave them the chance to show their feelings towards you.
@mariaperalta (19074)
• Mexico
13 Jan 13
If you can afford to, I would. As 14 hours are very long days. I know.. I do it here in my cafe all the time. Good luck.
@hereandthere (45833)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
i hope i don't sound biased here, but it could be a cultural thing also. some males in some cultures tend to take it personally when you turn them down. it could also be a personality trait, there are people who are very competitive and used to "winning." but i also agree that there should be a line between students and teachers and avoid having relationships until you're no longer connected with the company. can't you ask help from your supervisor or manager?