When Friends Become Strangers

@ckyera (17332)
Philippines
January 18, 2013 8:48am CST
Hi Mylotters! I hope everybody's having a good time here exchanging thoughts and opinions with each other. This topic just come out in my mind and so I am posting it now. I think its a difficult feeling when friends becomes strangers. Like the two of you are very close at first and then all of a sudden you two become strangers, like you don't know each other anymore. It happens to me, and at first its really difficult because we are actually avoiding each other now, and on my part I don't even want to see her face. Well I have my reason why I choose to treat her like a stranger. I just can't keep a liar and a back stabber in my circle of friends. I can still be civil to her but I can never be friends to her again. Its just so sad that after all the good things that we have shared, the good laughs and everything, it will just ended like this. Sad but its better this way, atleast I've learned and yeah, I'm thankful that I come to know her early before I get drowned to her kindness and trust her my life fully. How about you guys? Have you experienced having a friend and ended up like strangers?
6 people like this
28 responses
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
19 Jan 13
when friend become strangers.. then they were not friends at all. this is sad trust and betrayed. no i have not experienced so far and I am glad. I am very choosy and selective to friends, I ended up having my sisters as my friends. LOL. we can fight but we can never ever betray each other.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Hi Mavic! They are friends before but realized that they are not really friends but just acquaintances... hehe Its good that you have your sisters to be your friends, I don't have a sister but my parents and my brother, I also treat them as a friend and my mom being my bestfriend. I think I'm also a bit choosy when it comes to friends, but everybody's welcome. Its just sad that i fail with this girl. So deceitful. hehe
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
I guess that's just the right thing to do. Leaving something to ourselves. We just can't trust everything to someone coz they can use that against us hen time comes. Like you, I also don't share much stories of my life to acquaintances. i just choose which one to share. I also give everybody a chance to be my friend, I don't consider anyone bad when I don't know them yet.
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
20 Jan 13
yes, i only have few but OK friends. In fact, i don't tell my stories to people whom I just been acquainted even for years already. I should keep something for myself. However, I am not closing the possibilities of them being a friend to me. I always believe that somehow, there should be a way whether this person can be or can not be a friend to me.
2 people like this
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
19 Jan 13
Yes, it happened to me, too, with one of my best friends from childhood. I was the first to back out from this friendhip, only the reason was different from yours. She didn't betray me of any kind, when she is a friend, she's a true friend. But it came a moment when something flipped in her behavior years ago and she just stopped... showering. Yes, it's funny, but true. Then it came the moment when I just couldn't bear the smell around her anymore so I ended this friendship when I moved out of the town. Sometimes I miss our talks, but many of my friends still living in this town are telling me that things haven't changed so I avoid calling her when I visit my home town. So sad. But you're right, it hurts the most when people who you feel closest, betray you. Lie should never be forgiven.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Hi there... But what happened to her? Dis she suffer any condition that make her behave like that? Because I feel like as a friend, you are the one who can tell her that what she's doing to herself is no longer pleasant... That kind of friendship is really a wasted one, and kinda regretful to lose. On my part, I don't regret being away from her, because being distant with such kind of person is truly a relieve. hehe
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
26 Jan 13
I told her a couple of times back when I was living there and before we ceased that friendship. Every time I asked her she simply said she didn't smell anything but promised to go to a doctor, because we suspected there is some hormonal disorder or something. Eventually it turned out, as far as I know, she had smelly skin, related to sweat glands or something, I'm not a doctor. A condition that is very hard to beat. After I left town, she never called back to say how it's going, and honestly, I didn't call either...
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Yup! I experience that thing, friend. Those called friend is a fake friend because they only our friend when we have money or something. When their lives being uplifted and be a little rich they don't know anyone.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
And there are a lot of fake people around. Its really so difficult to find true friends these days, and if we manage to find one, we should treasure them.
1 person likes this
@namiya (1713)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
I have experienced once and it hurt so much particularly if you have been so close for she was even my eldest son's godmother at baptism. However it turned out later that the conflict between us was a creation of her cousin who had been jealous of our closeness and when things were cleared up we were able to patch up everything. I hope that things will turn out for the better in your case and if ever she is really guilty of this failure in your relationship be thankful you've known who she really is.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Its good to hear that you and your friend have reconciled and friendship becomes stronger. I think hen we get through any trials and succeed, it will make us a better person and yes makes the relationship even more stronger. On my part, I don't think it can be fixed, haha because we already stop talking to each other, I think she's also avoiding me now, even if we have some common friends no one dare to ask me why. Actually I am waiting for her to approach me and ask why I am behaving this way towards her, but she's not doing anything so nothing will happen. It will remain like this I don't know till when.
@siri26 (331)
• India
20 Jan 13
Same with me. Suddenly he became so strange and exchanged many unbelievable words. It's hard to listen to that wonder why its happening. Many of the times I am the one who approaches first who ever is the mistake. This time I don't feel like approach. Every time I see him feel like don't know how to express.how come people change suddenly.onething I can say strongly don't relay on third person words. In any relation If relationship needs to be strong you should have trust on others. Talk to her stright and then come to decision. It's so foolish to take decision on third person's words. All day you were friends and what you really understood her. Just talk to her before you take a decision. In life it's very hard to find gud and compatable people. It's very easy to lose. But hard to get.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Hi there! I am actually open in communicating with her and talk things up, but I will not approach her, I will wait for her to come to me and ask and clear things up. But she's not doing anything so sorry. I can't find the need to approach her. Most of the time when I know that I am at fault or if I offended people around me, I do approach them and say sorry, If they accepted my sorry and we stay the same as if nothing happens, then the friendship continues and we become more close.
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
This is pretty common most especially in childhood friendships when back then when you were still young you are pretty much close to that person and when he/she and you will turn in to mature people be it your high school or your pre-college years, it will sound kind of awkward in a way, that you have a gap between that person because he/she has grown up and you don't even know his/her interest because he/she change by time.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Hi there! I agree, because I have a alot of friends back then who are like that, even those friends of mine from our neighborhood! And just now I feel like it does not happen only with friends, in my case I have a cousin who are very close to me when we are younger, but now, we are already like a stranger with each other, we still talk but in my heart, she's already like a stranger to me, that I do not know whether she's really saying truth or just making stories to hide the not so good happenings in her life...
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
That maybe the case with her, and her mom is like that too. Pretending that everything is still fine even if things are already getting bad. But somehow I admire them for being good on that, for being able to look happy despite the fact that they are already struggling. I am just disappointed because I feel like she don't trust me enough to tell me the things that are happening to her before, while me I am always happy and excited to share to her the happenings in my life, she's even the maid of honor in my wedding. Anyway, that's already a thing of the past, right now, we are fine but not that close anymore.
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Probably she is putting a distance between her personal life and her giving of some information about her and her relatives... sometimes, this happens because some people don't like telling the bad news on their lives because they are afraid that people would put it on a negative take. oh, well people are people and we have different personalities.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
22 Jan 13
I've had this happen. I had a couple really good friends that i'd talk to all the time...then suddenly they wont respond to calls or messages. I get cut out of their lives completely. I had one friend that he kept saying it wasnt "just me" that he wasnt talking to anymore but our other friends are still friends with him and still communicate with him and i just gave up. I think it hurt alot when he decided he wasnt going to be my friend anymore.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
But what's the reason they stopped being friends with you? Did you try to ask them why they distance themselves from you? Or ask your common friends about the situation? Its really sad and disappointed but there must be a reason behind it. Maybe you should try asking them.
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
Hello Ckyera, hard to believe isn't it? after years of good times and bad times, the one you thought was good has another side. I guess i wasn't so lucky, i think I've mark myself as the other guy because i couldn't afford to have close and real friends.I had some buddies but never got that close but I never mind their private businesses either. sometimes I envy those people who had friends from a very long time, specially my moms. but am happy that i got to know some of them, even though it's just a few of them. have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Hi Letran! Actually I don't have much friends as well. Not because I am choosy but I am just being careful, I just don't want to be so much attached with anyone. I am just really sad with this one and asking myself ho can I be so wrong in befriending her. I think I have to trust my instincts more in the future, with this girl , I don't really like her much in our first meeting but I gave her the benefit of the doubt... but too bad, I was wrong but thanks that I've learned from it. Like you, I also envy those who have really good friends with them, like those who are friends for years and yet their closeness is still there and friendship becomes stronger year after year...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Sep 17
@ckyera People can change over the course of time.
• China
19 Jan 13
Actually this situation seldom happen to me,yes there are a few friends will be disacquaintance because of the less contact,but when I see those friends occasionally we still take each other as friend,so I think the things happen to you with your friend must be very severe and can not be recover again.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Yeah, because there's no effort from any of us to talk about what happened to us. Now, she's also avoiding me and seems like she don't know me as well. Its sad that we end up like this but its much better than to make things even worst in the end.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
18 Jan 13
I have, and until now I am asking myself what went wrong. We've been friends since college, and the 3 of us are always together even during school breaks. When we got married, we still make it a point to see each other every now and then, most especially on Christmas. But all of a sudden, she just stopped talking to me. She even deleted me on Facebook so there's no way that I can contact her anymore. She also changed her number. After a while, I saw that she's still friends with our common friend and I am kinda feeling awkward and uncomfortable now to initiate conversation. I did send her one message during the holidays and to date I haven't gotten a response back. It is sad, and frustrating because we never had any misunderstanding before, or if I have done something that offended her, I wasn't made aware.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137192)
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
That's too bad to hear. I am with the same scenario. Some of my friends forget the real friendship right after graduating from college. They had changed and you can never even reach them.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
That was sad raine... didn't you asked from your common friends the reason behind her coldness to you? Maybe they have the answer. Your situation is more difficult than mine because you are closer and you don't have any idea on why she behaved like that. There must be a reason for that and I hope that she will communicate with you and talk about what's really happening. With my college friends, I think I am just the only one who become a stranger to the other six since I shifted to another course back then... I sometimes talk to them but in FB only and its just like nothing, just hi & hello and that's it. Unlike them that they are still going out together.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
19 Jan 13
I did try to initiate conversation. But when my effort was disregarded I just felt bad. Many times I asked common friends what's going in with her but they too are at a loss because I can't give them the exact reason why we suddenly stopped talking. Guess I'll just have to wait until she's ready to talk.
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Yeah sure, my best friend turned into an a** years ago. After several weeks of bumping into each other during that "cold war" period, I got so tired of her attitude so I called it quits. Friends are supposedly there to take as in with our entirety, a shoulder to cry on so on and so forth..but ours ended just like that but sometimes I still think of the time when we'll suddenly meet, how would I handle that?
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Well maybe you can just give your friend a nod? or a smile? Who knows that will bring back the old times... hehe For me, as I observed in my life, those friends who stays with me, those who are really very close to me are those friends who accepted me not just in my best but even in my worst. And they are also the one whom I treated as my family already. They are only few but I treasure them a lot.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Yes, I also have a friend like that. I have my friend when I was still in elementary and I considered her before as my best friend but then when we reached our high school and college she changed and became very distant with me. I was not surprised for that being happened because she is rich and of course her friends are rich also. She had already her own circle of friends and me as well. Despite what had happened between us, we are still communicating in Face Book but not that so close already.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Hi kokomo! Same with me, but in my case, we become distant with each other when I shifted to another course, schedules are no longer the same and the time we spend together is lessen thus affecting the friendship as well. Now, we are also talking to Fb sometimes but I don't feel the closeness anymore. We are just like two people knowing each other because we are classmates before...hehe just like the others. How about you? Are you and your friend attended the same school in college?
• India
19 Jan 13
Hi ckyera. You may call it a gift. But so far all the friends I have made were completely reliable and trustworthy. It does not mean that I have never met any bad people in life. However, I was able to recognize them beforehand and never actually became friends with them. In your case I am glad that you were able to recognize your friend's true nature before it was too late.. Anyways have a nice day !! SuperShames
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Hi Shummy! Then you are so lucky my friend! Yeah, and I am glad too, but it also sadden me and it does made some damage in my life I guess...but things will be fine and better...sooner.
1 person likes this
@Hence27 (450)
• India
19 Jan 13
Yes,it also happened with me.It was the day when i was in my training persiod in another city which is two days long journey from my home town. There i used to live in a hostel with my friends.We were very close friends.He shared his problems with me and i told him to think positive.It's a secret matter and i can't write those things.But i told me many times,but he used to querl with me and at last i have sifted to a hotel nearby.And after completion of the training,i returned back to my home and now i behave him like a stranger.He now thinks that he has done wrong.He realized it,but i don't want to believe those guy any more.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Its sad when the "friend" we know becomes a different person after a while. But didn't he apologized after he realized that he have done you wrong? And aren't you willing to give another chance?
@Hence27 (450)
• India
20 Jan 13
I have given him another chance.But it all depends upon him whether he understands or not.But i don't believe him any more.See,if you trust someone for years and you will see that he does not care about your emotions at all,then what do you feel regarding him or her?I know one other person.She too cheated me and she did not understand my emotion.I left her forever.I don't want to go to her house any more.She is elder than me and i respected her as my own mother.She is my Bhabhi(my brother's wife).But now i understood her nature and therefore i don't have any emotion for her.I don't think bad about her,but i avoid her.
@marguicha (215276)
• Chile
18 Jan 13
I have left friends (and friends have left me) during my long life. But most of the times it has nothing to do with terrible confrontations but we just grew apart and got other interests. I had some very nice friends when my kids were growing. They had kids too and that was a common interest. But now my group of friends has to do with the interest I have now, as an older person.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Hi Marguicha! I think that's very common, you know friends being apart and does the relationship. But that's understandable for me and much better that friends being apart due to bad attitudes and betrayals... You are right, most of the time, the friends that we have now are those ho have the same interest like ours and those whom we see frequently. (atleast for me at this time)
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
hello amiga, I do. I found my highschool bestfriend in Facebook 4 years ago and I am so happy. I sent her friend's request and she accepted it after a month. I started sending her messages but she never replied even once. Then I started feeling strange and ask some of our common friends (highschool friends) about my bestfriend and I found out that she changed a lot. One of my old classmates told me that my bestfriend becomes "arrogant"' I feel bad and sad- and after a year I deleted her from my friend's lists. Until now I am still thinking about her- how money can make people changed. Have a great weekend there dear amiga
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Hi Jai! Well, whether we like it or not, Money can really make a person change, but there are also some who remained humble despite the richness and success that they achieved. I hope your friend will realize what kind of treasure she have just thrown when she let you go out of her life.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
19 Jan 13
Sorry to hear that things have become this bad. I understand what you mean though. Our time and our life is precious. So we don't want to waste it on individuals who don't care about us and those who hurt us. It tough to make those types of decisions. It is in our best interest though that we look after ourselves.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jan 13
Hi Dominque! Yeah, and since our time and our life is important, e want to spend it with people who will make us happy, with people who are true to us. Life is just so short to waste with undeserving people in our life. Tough decision yes, but its worth it!
@Shavkat (137192)
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
Way back in College, we are four in a group. But then, the friendship worn out without no reason at all. Thinking that they are across the country, it seems the weather in abroad is different; they changed drastically.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Hi Shavkat! haha, that holds true with some of my friends from highschool as well as in college. Well like hat I've said in my comment above, I think I am just the only one who become a stranger to them. But I don't regret losing them because I still have some good friends with me and they are the one I treasure most because they have been with me in good and bad times. Just so difficult to find true friends these days...
@elsino91 (440)
• Poland
18 Jan 13
Yeah I've had friends that have become strangers. Except the reason is a little different. It was mainly due to us growing apart because I moved to another country. At first we would keep in touch and it was like we were still friends but then we just got caught up in our lives around us that we talked less and less. Now we don't really talk at all, it's like we've forgotten about each other but I know that I at least still remember.
1 person likes this
• India
18 Jan 13
I'm glad that you shared this one and I'm responding because I've faced these things. Starting with a friend of mine, not actually closest but she was my classmate for two years. She failed to pass the 12th grade final exams and to my knowing she failed in the next year too. One day when I was coming back from a shop, I saw her but surprisingly she passed by me pretending like she didn't saw me, the next time again I saw her, that time she was with their relatives, might be..the moment she saw me from a far of distance she just made her busy in her phone and passed by as if she didn't saw me..it was strange as I was hoping to talk with her but she had her reasons..only she knows.that was like in 2010. Just a couple of days back, I was going to my cousin bro's home and I just saw her again, this time it was more closely and more suddenly as it was turn road where I was going and she was coming, strangely she might have thought how to react but eventually she moved on as if she doesn't know me. It was just one of the instances from a few of mine's, but I do really hate this..I mean what's in talking, it's fine if you don't wanna talk,at least behave as a known person rather than pretending as an unknown.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
Hi there! I wonder if you have any idea why she's acting that way towards you. do you have any misunderstanding in the past? Or she just become like that without any reason at all? Or maybe she's just ashamed due to her failures?