Friend or Not a Friend? Confused.......

Canada
January 21, 2013 1:25am CST
I have moved in the last year and live near a friend who used to be a distant friend.......My ex husband and I are back together and re-engaged and things are going well for us minus my annoyance i can say i guess with this mutual friend who now seems to be to close for comfort..... How would you feel or how would you take daily questions of....What you doing? Where are you? Are you at home? What you having for supper? Who you talking to on the phone.......These are just some if not all the questions i get on a daily basis in text messages from this friend....... Also i've tried over and over in many ways to tell this friend that the constent questioning is being nosey and i'm feeling bombarded.....She comes unglued on me in lack of better words saying this is who i am and i'm just being curious blah blah......In one ear out the other type response where others have seen it as nosey but she doesn't see it that way....Also i've had her as a friend on other chat sights example Facebook.....She is even rude with comments there but doesn't see it that way......She wonders why i don't talk to her I've noticed her to be one of those type of ppl that is all about her allllllllll the time ANNOYING..... Anyways i know i've ranted and raved in this discussion lol.....So A friend or not a friend????
3 people like this
7 responses
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Honestly I would say definitely not a friend. First reason being that a friendship should be 50/50. Why should you always talk about her all the time? Is her life really that interesting? Secondly if you have told her your feelings about feeling interrogated and bombarded with VERY nosy questions I might add in my opinion, and she doesn't respect your wishes or even try to back off then that is not good at all. Sounds to me like she may be a bit of a control freak or a person with a lot of time on her hands who is too busy worrying about your life and should be concentrating more on her own. Sorry if this sounds rude, BUT you know how I am ... I call it as I see it, and I don't sugar coat anything!
2 people like this
• Canada
22 Jan 13
I am not thinking that you are being rude at all hun....I definatly see your point she very well could be jelous and have too much time on her hands and she doesn't respect me well she is gonna see the hard way when i just don't answer her texts anymore i guess or tell her we need to go our seperate ways...Thanks on the re-engagement we are getting along great and are very
2 people like this
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Your most welcome. Well if she continues down the road she is going, she will have none to blame but herself when she loses you as a friend. That will be on her, and her loss big time!
1 person likes this
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
21 Jan 13
Maybe a lesbian in closet?just kidding. You can still be friends but stop answering her questions if you feel intimidated. Much better if you're avoiding since she's not understanding anyway no matter how you explain to her.
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jan 13
Good Idea either that or i don't even read anymore just say not much or what have you and when she tells me answers to what she is doing answer ya she still hasn't gotten the hint lol.....Thanks for your response.....I think she is just jelous cuz of the fact that my fiance has nothing to do with her much anymore since we have gotten back together lol....Thanks for your reponse
2 people like this
• Canada
22 Jan 13
Good point, maybe she is jealous of you and your ex getting back together! I forgot to say in my response congratulations on getting back together, and getting engaged. I wish you both all the best!
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8696)
• Netherlands
21 Jan 13
It sounds like my ex, checking me out day and night. Get rid of that friend, it's not a friend but someone who is obsessed and will check you out day and night, never ending, driving you crazy. No friendship is worth this. So tell that friend to mind his own business and not call you anymore if he has nothing interesting to tell you. If that doesn't work: change your phonenumber and if he shows up again say you will let arrest him for stalking you!
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jan 13
Good point I didn't see it like that before and your so right....I just find her more of an annoyance then anything.....
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (57389)
• United States
21 Jan 13
No, I'd say not a friend. Good to see you on here again.
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jan 13
Thanks AmbiePam good to be seen again smiles.....I think she is just an all around nosey person...
2 people like this
@Iriene88 (5345)
• Malaysia
21 Jan 13
Friend but she need to have a boundary. She should not cross it. If not, you will lose your privacy and this is not healthy for friendship. Perhaps you could find a nice way to let her see it. If she is a true friend, she should keep it the way a good friend should be for the benefit of both parties. All the best to you!
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jan 13
I couldn't agree more with you that a boundry should be set....I've tried every which way i'm thinking it may be getting to the point she has pushed me too far in lack of better words lol....Thanks for your response all the best to you as well....
2 people like this
@jenny1015 (13376)
• Philippines
21 Jan 13
Well, she thinks you are friends. But the question is, would you want her to be our friend? If you feel annoyed with this person, then there is no use in pretending to be nice with her. Just tell her that she is getting to your nerves. Or , you may just play the "no talking or texting" game. And let her figure out by herself what is wrong.
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jan 13
I do care about her and think ...she is a good person that is what makes this so hard....I have tried to iggy her texts or just let them go in one ear and out the other per say......But I do see your point there is a possibility i could be pretending thanks for your response......
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Jan 13
Congratulations on your reconciliation! If I were in your shoes, I would break off any ties with mosey friend. I have no desire to have a person like that in my life.
1 person likes this
• Canada
28 Jan 13
Thanks for your response Danish.......Your so right i could so do without her bieng like that all the time on a daily basis.......I am sorry it took me awhile to response my laptop accidently took a drink of coffee lol....So am using hubbies right now til my new one comes in....
1 person likes this