Please will you LISTEN?
By dee777
@dee777 (1417)
South Africa
January 22, 2013 11:04pm CST
The buzz-word is communication, communication... But I think that true communication is not talking, it happens when a person knows how to LISTEN.
My friend tells the woman about the challenges they are suffering in the immediate family. He was sad, and heartbroken and needed someone to just listen to him...They are facing job losses(parents), bank taking back their house(parents), divorce(sister), cancer(dad), death(other sister)- in the same family - all happening in the same year...
This lady friend only listen to his first sentence and then interrupted with a "BUT listen to what I had to face the past two years...." and she babbles on and on and on.
Communication is also when we shut up to LISTEN to the other persons' heart...
2 people like this
8 responses
@allknowing (130117)
• India
23 Jan 13
Lending a ear when a person wants you to listen is indeed very consoling. But many a time I have noticed that sharing each other's problems also helps each other in that the fact knowing that there are others suffering too lightens the burden somewhat.
Now tell me. I am listening. But promise you will listen to me too!
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
I think dee's friend would be happier to share his story here in mylot. Many people will read his story thoroughly. Mylotters are rather good at empathizing with other people. Plus their responses are real thoughtful.
@allknowing (130117)
• India
23 Jan 13
I have seen such topics being posted here but in responding they also pour their own woes!
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
That's true dee. True communication is when the other party actually listens. I guess a person who cuts in like that is so selfish, self absorbed and have no sense of respect for others who expected them to be there to listen, not babble. -sigh- Those kind of people are just boring, I'd stay away from them.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Or maybe this 'friend' doesn't want to talk about depressing things and thus tried to change the subject? We don't know for sure. Just call me Aja.
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
23 Jan 13
Thank you Aja. No, this 'friend' loves attention and she was just NOT prepared to listen. She loves to draw attention to herself - that is how we all know her. My feeling is, when someone comes to you with a heart so sore, and you call yourself a friend, you push your own things one side for a while and keep quiet so that you can understand what is wrong with your friend.
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
23 Jan 13
Hello Manasha. Hope you are doing well?
I agree with what you said. We can only give feedback when we have listen carefully to what the person is telling us. When we keep on interrupting and try to make a point, or telling him/her our sad life-story, the person may think that we're not interested in him/her. Positive feedback is important.
1 person likes this
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
24 Jan 13
I know. People tend to care about their own problems only, and they are not there when their friends or people surrounding them need them... even if just listening would make such a huge difference. I try to be as open and understanding as possible, always.
@ccmacarayan (188)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
Friendship is a two-way thing. There is a time for you to listen and there's a time for your to be listened to. It is not friendship if you get to talk all the time. I can only imagine the amount of stress that your friend is going through right now and I believe he needs an outlet for him to just let it all out.
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
23 Jan 13
It is so true, communication is about listening. And supporting the other person by listening. Communication isn't about babbling on and on.
You make a very good point - Listening is listening to the other person's heart. Not just listening to the words but the meaning behind the words.
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
24 Jan 13
Hi ZoeJoy. If we call ourselves good friends, we should listen inventively when the other person talks, and not be busy formulation 'impressive answers' in our minds. True listening is a skill not many have. Sometimes we are so absorbed with ourselves, that we do not know half the stuff the other person are telling us.
I agree also with your last sentence that we should try to listen what lies 'behind' the words...
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
23 Jan 13
When a troubled friend comes to us, she doesn't just need somebody to be there physically but wants somebody to hear her out. Our silence may mean a lot of things. But the silence that we give when our friend ours out her heart is something very precious to her. So we should always take time to listen and be a friend.
@vernaC (1491)
• Romania
23 Jan 13
I gained good firends through this skill I have, a good listener. If I'm a traitor, I could have caused so much pains to my friends for selling their secrets to one another, but I'm not.
Aperson who knows how to listen and knows when to say something to friend likely would gain their friend's trust. It's putting your friends at ease when they are talking especially about their problems and secrets when we are just listening to them and tell them things honestly.
. If I'm a traitor, I could have caused so much pains to my friends for selling their secrets to one another, but I'm not.
Aperson who knows how to listen and knows when to say something to friend likely would gain their friend's trust. It's putting your friends at ease when they are talking especially about their problems and secrets when we are just listening to them and tell them things honestly.@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
24 Jan 13
This is the most valuable, wonderful character trait you have. I wish more people could be like that. I believe that a person should be able to listen and GIVE ADVISE only when asked. One day lots of secrets of friends will also go with me to my final resting place...
