Do you feel bad when you can't help others financially?

Uh... If they were responsible, they likely wouldn't be facing the birth of a child. Prevention of that situation is a lot cheaper than paying for 18+ years. Even if you had the money to "help" them, you would be foolish to give money to them. It would not help them in the least; it would simply teach them that they can continue to be irresponsible and that others will pick up the tab. There are those who genuinely do need financial help. Your brother and his girlfriend do not fall into that category. They need help with learning how to prioritize, be less materialistic (Who needs a $2,000 television?) and to budget. They need help learning about proper nutrition--preferably now, so that the baby is born as healthy as possible--because I can pretty much guarantee that they are not eating healthfully and will not know how to feed a child healthfully.

Yes I tend to feel bad when I can't help out someone especially if that person is very dear to me. But if I have the capacity to help, I wouldn't just hand out all the money that they need. Because I believe that if a person doesn't have to work hard for something he wouldn't develop that sense of responsibility and the right way of prioritizing things in his life. Who knows I could be even giving them more harm than good if I just let them have everything that they need just like that. I would help to the extent on what I think us proper without taking away the need for them to step up and own to their responsibilities.

I understand your problem and like you even I had once such problem, that too before I got married. My friend was in need of money but I could not my friend since I was not earning and I could not ask the money from my daddy since at that time my daddy was building a new house.

Yes, I think, everyone feels bad when, they just can't help some one who needs help. But, it sounds like they really don't need help. They just need to learn how to spend their money better.

That's the problem with some people spending too much on non-essentials and when unexpected situations arises that involves financial capacity, they have not enough to support their needs. Starting a family needs financial stability because it involves too many expenses for the baby's needs so you were right telling them to save while they still can so they won't bother others to help them, not that you don't wanna help them but it's the right attitude - to be responsible for the baby's needs and not rely on others.

Really every one feels sad a bit if someone helps. But it is not for every time. Because you can see some places they are following a culture finance as a gift. Those people according to the culture thy never feel bad. If someone who is helping you unexpectedly then you can really happy about them.

Yes, I feel really bad when I can't help someone in need. In fact, my parents right now need money to fix their transmission and they don't have it nor do I. I just wish they could come into some money that could help them out in their time of need. I have helped them many times over the years but at this time I don't have anything to help them with. It hurts me but I can't do anything about it.

Yes, I feel so bad especially when they are close friends and relatives for more reasons that throughout my whole life, I have never been selfish.

Hi Dominique, I feel your problem. You have a great heart and I feel it. Probably once God will give you a lot of money for your good heart. May God bless you.

Well, I can't help anyone out financially. I scrape and scrimp to make ends meet for me and my family. I'm going to be a great grandmother in 8 months. I will send clothing and stuff for the baby when he or she is born. They live in another state. That's the best I can do.

What I find in the past, you help yourself before others. Also, many aren't grateful for what others do for them especially those very young. They need to get responsibility and think of this child. I know many who are there age, and think of the child, making it through. Those who expect help, and get it all handed to them get lazy, and expect it all the time. You can't repeatedly constantly help them, or else they will expect it, they got pregennt, they need to step up and take responsibility. If they can afford a two thousand dollar tv they can support a child.

It must be wonderful to have enough money to help people who need it, but this is not an option for many of us. It is hard to watch others struggle but be unable to offer much more than sympathy and a listening ear. It is even harder when we are afraid that we are being misunderstood, that we are being judged as mean,selfish and hardhearted. Your brother in law does not sound poor at all, he may not have any expectations from you and waiting to see how he copes with his additional responsibilities is good practice. He may take a little while to get his priorities right but he will learn the value of money and perhaps even learn to start saving some of his excess.

Yes,if i have to face any such moments that if i have to help anyone financially,i will do it,if i have enough me.Well,it's so good to help others.We(who help)also feel very nice or satisfied.But sometimes we become fools in those activities.Please don't feel bad which i am saying.It too had happened with me.But not with family or relatives,but happened with another unknowing person.I remember it was the day when i used to live in anotehr city for my training.I was returning with my friends after celebrating my friend's anniversary.There we saw a woman and her husband.That so-called poor man started talking with us and he was asking for help.I saw his wife and her children.I took pity on them and gave 100 Indian rupees to them and returned back.On the very next day,i found that man coming from Air port.I was amazed to see that so-called poor family.That man had tickets with him for his wife and children and after sometimes they were going to sit in the plane.I tried my level best to catch them,but in vain.So from that incident,if i want to help others financially,i have to think a lot about them.

First of all, I would like to say thank you for being you. You are one of a kind Dom, not all relatives think that way. You are still very passionate in helping knowing that they already have money. I guess the best way to help is to guide them how to be a responsible parents and how to manage their cash. Knowledge is more important than cash in this situation since they are earning good anyway. They will best appreciate if they learn something to be used for life. However if worse comes to worst then give what you want to give after all it is for the baby not for the parents.

I know too many people like this and NO..I do not feel sorry for them. I do feel sorry for their children. Their priorities won't likely change once the child is born if people help them out too much. They will rely on that help and still continue spending their money foolishly. People tend to want to help for the sake of the baby but it just gets worse and worse and soon they are not paying their rent or their bills...ugh. My advice would be...don't enable them. I know it is hard to watch but some people need to be literally forced to be responsible.

We are belong to a poor family. Not all my siblings has good status financially so everytime they have problems they come to me for help. I cannot refuse because they are part of my family. I told them, I can help but only have limitation because I have my own family and they need also my support. What happen to us if I help full to them. What can I do is to help a little and support them

Yes I also feel bad when I was not able to help others financially or in any other way specially if they are my family. I wish I have more so that I can extend my financial help to them anytime, but since I don't have much money I guess we can still help in some other way like giving them our moral support. I guess that's the usual problem with young couples, but I hope that everything will turn good for them. They will soon become parents and I hope that will help them mature and become more responsible in all aspects.

There was a time not too long ago where I would have said that I was always very upset when I wasn't able to help people out financially. However, because of the fact that I've seen there are far too many people that will take advantage of our generosity and never try to do anything to help you in response to your generosity. Now, I am really picky about those people that I will help out financially. For example, I have one friend that is really struggling and I will do anything that I can for him because he really is trying and doesn't ask for handouts. My best female friend, on the other hand, I really won't help her financially any more because there is no reason in the world that she can't go get a job and help herself out. I refuse to give handouts to people that won't help themselves or are very irresponsible with their money.

Yes, it makes us feel guilty most especially when the person is close to you. We would usually give our everything just to be of help to others but there are times when our own resources are limited. We can only help in a very limited way.

I think that what you have in mind is the best thing that you can do for them. Since they are somewhat financially secure, they should learn how to save some money in preparation for their first child's birth. Well, you and your husband helping out would be very helpful, too for them.