I need to be inspired/romatic again
By andak2007
@andak2007 (3229)
Philippines
February 4, 2013 4:25pm CST
Not because it is February but lately i know that i have been lacking the excitement with my relationship with my husband.
Been married for almost 8 years already and i have to tell you, between the two of us, i am the romatic one, i am the one who likes to go out and dine, go out and see movies, i cook good dinner for both of us, i use to give him gifts, i used to tell him sweet words and write cards for him since the beginning of our relationship.
Lately i have been too caught up with married life, got busy with kids( actually both of us), then with household works, with office work, we seldomly go out now and we just stay at home and sadly it has become boring, i missed the old us, i missed the old romantic me that i know, and its been hiding for some time now.
Now, i have become bigger, not sexy anymore and i do not make effort to make myself beautiful to him, although he is not wandering around with other girls( that i am sure of that!). How do we rekindle this flame of ours? Not just this Valetines day but for many years ahead of us.
Any thoughts to share friends?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@ladyeaglefeather (228)
• United States
5 Feb 13
Don't feel bad, you are not the only one. I have been with my husband for 17 years. I am the one who gets him flowers, I write poetry to him. If, something romantic is done, I am the one who does it. i have even giving him ideas, on what to do. But, he doesn't do it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love him very much. We have been together for a long time and for any relationship to last as long as ours has, he has to be doing something right. He works long hours and time isn't something we have together as much as we did when we were younger.
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
17 years is a long time, my parents are still married and they go on 34 years of being together...sometimes when we do all those stuff, we get tired right and we wish somehow they will do something that will surprise us and make us feel special...but still he doesn't do it..when will that day come?
@ladyeaglefeather (228)
• United States
5 Feb 13
When he does do something, it will be all the more specail.
@sriroshan (2585)
• India
11 Feb 13
I agree with you in this regards. When we are newly married and specially before having the kids we are more romantic and like to spend more time together in the house and go out do some shopping, have dinner go for picnic etc. But as children comes in our life our responsibilities grows and automatically as parent both tend to start giving more important and attention to our children. Since your children now have been grown up see that you give more time to each other, spend quality time together. To be romantic there is no need that of age, at any age one can become romantic.
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
11 Feb 13
it really takes a lot of effort to be romantic when there are kids around, you loose your focus and my children are a lot older now and i am hoping things will get better when they become more independent, i like it that my husband is my bestfriend, i can share to him many things and less secrets, that way we are more honest to each other.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
5 Feb 13
Well personally it might be time for both of you to take a Step back and reexamine yourselves, and your marriage and see where things are going. Find time to take a night out, or a night away just the two of you to talk and rekindle that old flame and feelings. Many times in life it can get so busy that you forget to take time for the 2 of you, and it does matter.
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
6 Feb 13
I have been suggesting it to him and inviting him but he always worries about leaving our youngest kid to families and we end up taking with us our 4 year old daughter, i mean i have no problems with that coz i love her dearly, but yeah we dont get to talk about our marriage, always distracted with taking care of the kids..sometimes i would believe that we do not have the same equal love and felt neglected at times.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
9 Feb 13
I am married for 19 years now and I am just feeling the way that you do now. And I guess being the only one doing the chores at home and taking care of the kids has taken "me" from being the person that I used to be.
It is hard coz I know how I s=could sometimes hurt the feelings of my husband, but my body is just too weak or my mind is just turned off from being romantic and all. I am wishing to have a wonderful time with my husband. But he is the kind of person who would rather be with friends than with me.
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
10 Feb 13
yeah sometimes we do miss the old person that we are before we got married, and that old person is actually fun, outgoing, cheerful and very energetic and postive about life. And after many many years of marriage, we wives become naggers, too demanding, bossy, fat and wahhh nevermind.
I need to go out often i just realized this.
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
5 Feb 13
raising kids and the stress of balancing work and the house chores can burn you out romantically.you need to take a break,just the two of you even if its to ot a very expensive place.Let someone help you with the kids and go somewhere just the two of you.if you spend time away from your kids you can rekindle the flames.for such a trip dress up,get an exciting night wear that will have his blood racing be spontaneous.try out new things,look for articles to read about spicing up your bedroom time am sure the fire will light up.getting bigger is not the end of the world a large group of women gain weight in motherhood ,its how you feel about yourself that matters,take time and make yourself beautiful and smart just for him.
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
I will try your suggestions but sadly we had a fight early this morning that i ended up walking a good distance going home after work. What i am worried about is he never really tries to apologize and always thinks that i am the one to blame. We are not currently ok for now(sigh!)
@paperdolls28 (222)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
Wow! Congrats for those 8 years together! I know where you're coming from because I've been in that same situation for the past years. These are the things that worked for us. First,we gave each other uninterrupted time to talk, listen and discuss our thoughts and feelings (normally before going to sleep). Second, we watched our wedding videos & read "some" old cards from each other and lastly, we prayed together every night.
Hoping you can rekindle your relationship as well. More happy and loving years to come!
1 person likes this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
i like the idea that you pray together it makes the marriage and the bond stronger with the Lord's presence.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
4 Feb 13
With my ex, I guess that I am the least romantic one. I lack of surprise and excitement for her, the feeling of heart beat I guess. That is why we broke up eventually, because I didn't see or feel the feeling of mutual love between us anymore. I don't what to tell you, but romance is from both of people, and you can rekindle it by telling stories how you both met, and you simply want to experience it once again. Try to remind your husband of it, he may want it so badly as you do.
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
i hope that you are now happy with a new love too, we need to rekindle it i know.
