when to hit a child

I never hit my child, she is 8 years old now and she never suffered it. She is a lovely and obedient child, most of the time I just tell her what she should do when she did something bad, she would listen to me carefully and I could see that she wouldn't do it again. Luckily, now she is 8 and everything is good enough. Her teacher and her classmates like her very much. People like her when they are together with her. My husband and I are proud of it. When my daughter saw the other children being hit, she was scared, she didn't know why those adults are doing that . I have a co-worker, she told me she often hit her daughter, now her daughter is about 7 years old, still suffer a beating when she did something wrong , she was naughty and I wondered : Does the beating make her naughty? Anyway , I won't beat my daughter, I feel she is a beautiful gift that god gives me, and I should take good care of her and make her grow up happily .

Some people here responded about 'beating' a child. I know that's not what you are talking about. A smack on the hand or the bottom is not 'beating', and it does get their attention. Of course, you can overdo it by smacking them too often, but I really don't think a smack when they need it is a bad thing. The old saying is "Spare the rod and spoil the child", and I think that holds true today.

i understand what you are doing but my style to make kids obey me is to give them up to three mistakes or wrongdoing before i spank them only on their butt.so far it works for kids dont let the count go to three to avoid being spanked.

Oh no, I can't do that. I'm a teacher and I often face naughty students, but I never hit them and never would. Maybe a light tap on the hand or a touch on the ear, but never too hard. To my niece, never. I love her so much that I never even get angry with her. Besides, she is not a naughty one. However, all little children can be irritating sometimes and I only showing an irritated face to her and she knows she has made me uncomfortable.

All my brothers and sister were spanked. They turned out alright. I don't know if they refrained from spanking there kids or not. There were 9 of us. Don't remember all that many spankings going on. My kids got spanked. Spare the rod and spoil the child but I think some parents went beyond spanking and did more beatings. Beating is not good.

Yes, bitting some time or bitting for their mistake is good. when we bit them we actually bitting their habit not them actually. We should behave them in such a way that they shouldn't commit the same mistake againa and again. Bitting all the time is not good way although.

Just like you, I also do same with my niece whenever she does something bad. She is 3 year old child but I don't think so that being a young child doesn't mean that he or she must be excused for being disciplines in his or her wrongdoings. Sometimes, we cannot correct someone just by sole words especially if that child is very stubborn.I agree with you that you should show some authority with them so as they grow, they will learn to respect you and do not treat you like as if you both belong to the same age. As for me, I hit my niece on her buttocks. That is also the way my parents diciplined me when I was a kid. I don't think there is something wrong on it as long as you don't hit much and you don't hit the face because it is dangerous. I have noticed too that kids who did not experienced being hit by their parents grow up stubborn and immature.

Just like you, I also do same with my niece whenever she does something bad. She is 3 year old child but I don't think so that being a young child doesn't mean that he or she must be excused for being disciplines in his or her wrongdoings. Sometimes, we cannot correct someone just by sole words especially if that child is very stubborn.I agree with you that you should show some authority with them so as they grow, they will learn to respect you and do not treat you like as if you both belong to the same age. As for me, I hit my niece on her buttocks. That is also the way my parents diciplined me when I was a kid. I don't think there is something wrong on it as long as you don't hit much and you don't hit the face because it is dangerous. I have noticed too that kids who did not experienced being hit by their parents grow up stubborn and immature.

In my opinion a child should never be hit anywhere on the body. A child of that age should be either sent to his room for 5 minutes or to a time out. Explaining what he/she did that was wrong and how long he/she will be punished. I was beaten as a child, had to stand in the corner etc... It is abuse no matter where you hit a child. Think about this if you were a child would you want to be hit? If you were hit you are continuing the cycle of abuse in your family. I was abused but refused to follow the cycle. My refused to hit my two girls, I would punish them from TV, going outside to play, etc.. Hitting is never the answer!

I also believe that when an adult does that to a child , it means that he/she cares enough that he/she wants to correct the mistakes of the child. But of course, the hitting should not be too bad to come to a point of abusing the child.

I don't share your opinion that it's a good thing to be afraid of someone or something. I have been beaten up the biggest part of my life and I can tell you it's not good and it will never be good. It is good to know the rules, it's good to know when you cross a border, it's good to know what is right or wrong, it's good to learn to listen and to show respect plus it's good to know that deeds have consequences and you are responsible (depends on the age) for your own deeds. I wonder what kind of bad things a 4 year old can do. Or is this about adults who want young children to sit still day and night? A child is a child, needs to explore, to discover, should be active to learn how to deal with things in the future plus how to believe in himself and gather self esteem. Personally I don't see any difference between hitting on the legs, body or in the face. Hitting is hitting. There are many ways to get the attention and to say NO (for example taking by the hand without saying a word, giving it a time out on the stairs, in the bedroom, a special chair to think over), using a whistle (which we do at scouting) which means: over here, back to the wall and listening. Might be some kids do need a to be "hit" to get the attention but I think it's better to try it in different ways first.