...a letter

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Beware- very long confessional and somewhat rant. Author is very emotional and not thinking whether you could relate or not Dearest E, I don’t know but I think my latest project for you has my pride hurting, my mind thinking and questioning my work ethics as well as a chance to feel sorry for myself. Yes, you did give me work and I’m grateful for it. God knows that you have been a very good employer and perhaps, you’re one of the fairest out there. I appreciate the work you give to me even though you know I also work for someone else. But hey, you of all people should know how this industry works. I know that I am not one of your greatest writers but I appreciate the confidence you give to me. As a fellow writer, that means a lot. Anyway, that is not my issue. My issue is bordering on ethics. I have this beef for people who write other people’s term papers and assignments. It’s something that I dislike in college because I was the one who did everything without full credit and even monetary compensation. Now, the world has changed and any writer with decent research skills can do somebody else’s term paper, perhaps, even better. I have never imagined that I will have to do that. I accepted your project on the basis that it was like the other projects. I have no beef with plans and business papers. However you send me a full pdf of someone’s else written exam. Sure, I did it because I already said ‘yes’ and you already sent it – with a very immediate deadline, I might add. But I wish to tell you how painful working on that paper. Why? Because while doing it, I just realized that I’m so good at doing other people’s paper that I cannot write or even pass approval on my own. This sordid realization had me thinking that perhaps, I should drop any moral and ethics and do what everybody does. After all, if I can write someone else’s paper, surely I could afford (and help) some writer out there to write my ever-frustrating paper? That paper is the bane of my existence last year (you should know because I told you about it). Perhaps, that writer will be the solution to my problem and get that degree I’m fishing for. It might hurt my pride and skew my morals, but hey, I get the degree. Perhaps, I should stop writing and set up a Craiglist ad instead. It’s a conflicting feeling and I think you will understand since you so wished to get a higher degree yourself. I wonder whether you will also be at this crossroad (making others write your paper) because you’re too busy, too stressed and you have nothing in your mind to write. But you have to write. Would you succumb to that tempting idea? I don’t how to end this but I will definitely not send you this letter. I just hope that you will understand that if possible, I will stand by my ground as long as I can able. I guess my morals and standards are high for some people’s tastes but I cannot and simply cannot do it again. It gives me the stupid ‘what-if’ moments and that sinking feeling about that paper that might never see the light of day or even considered to be published. I know it very ego-centric but hey, I think I am entitled to it. I made that decision and writing these papers weaken my resolve and not feel sorry for not finishing what I have started and things that I don’t have control over regarding my paper. I hope you do understand. Your ever friend and writer.