Surviving Divorce...The first year.

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It's been about a year and half since my ex husband and I parted ways and he filed for divorce. And it's very true, the first year is the hardest. Add to it, a 500 mile move, by myself, facing unemployment and a grueling job search, and only surviving those first few months because of the generosity of family. There were many moments in that first year, moments of depression and crying in the tub. Doubts galore. Did I do the right thing? Would I make it? Should I go back? Then I found a job, and that helped. I made myself get up and go, I spent time with my family, I went for walks, I made new friends. And I even dated...dating nightmares, most of them. Divorce is one of the hardest things a person can go through. It's devastating right down to the soul. But there is hope, and survival, and moving on. And such is the way of life, it can be over come, and life can and does get better. With any loss, it's best to let yourself go through the grieving process. Some days it was difficult just to breathe. But it's ok to cry, it's ok to miss someone, it's ok to even be angry. It's normal. But then one day you wake up, and realize that you haven't cried in weeks, you haven't even thought about him. And you study that thought, probing at it to see if you feel anything towards your ex spouse and there is nothing there. No one gets married thinking that someday it will end. You believe with all your heart and soul that you will grow old with this person. But sometimes people just aren't meant to be together. And I have come to the conclusion, I'd rather be happy with me than be miserable with him.