My ex DIL cried!

She wanted the divorce, but that doesn't mean she wanted to divorce everybody who has come to be family to her. Yeah, I'd have hugged her for the sake of the granddaughter at least.

I really think you did the right thing. A hug never hurt anyone. Can imagine it was a bit awkward for you but your little granddaughter was able to see you share this hug which was a positive experience seeing her mom and grandma hugging. Your DIL must have strong feelings for you which is a nice compliment. I had a situation the other day that made me feel terribly uncomfortable. Our daughter's ex-boyfriend's mother gave me a hug and I went along with it. This woman is not someone I like nor do I care to spend time with her but thought it would be rude on my part to just walk away and ignore her arms reaching out. I have no emotional ties to this woman at all.

Yes, I bet you are right. She's missing the bond you guys used to have. You sound like are the ideal mother-in-law. But yes, I would have hugged her. You did nothing wrong. It's important for your granddaughter that you have a good relationship with her mother. I understand your son is upset with her, I would be too if my spouse left me for no good reason. But I think you did the right thing.

I find these situations really sad.When my first marriage went wrong my mil did not want to know me or the kids. Different people react differently in these situations.It seems strange your daughter in law cries for you.Perhaps she did not get what she wished for and did not realise what a mess things were.She divorced your son not you.Perhaps she expects you to hate her or something.Let her know you do not.At least she allows you to see your grand daughter.I would keep things quite from your son as really it is between them and not you.Your grand d and you are caught up in all this.What ever happens it would break your heart if you could not see your Ali so keep neutral and keep the relationship between and your dil friendly and your son should understand or will learn to.

Hi Jill, Divorces are difficult for the entire family. I am sorry that your family is going through that. I would have hugged her, because that is the kind and thoughtful thing to do. Maybe your ex daughter in law misses how close the two of you were and the fun times you once shared as a family. As for your son, it is not his place to decide who you can and cannot hug.

Of course I would have given her a hug especially due to your granddaugher being there. She must be feeling guilty for deciding on the divorce or realizing regret for doing it. Realizing life is not going to be better after a divorce like she thought. She is probably feeling lonely and scare. I wonder why she decided to get a divorce from your son? I also wonder why she would dismiss you after dinner like you knew it was time to go. That is so cold and strange. I would never to that to my mother-in-law because she is the best and like a second mom to me.

It sounds like she's having a lot of second thoughts or regrets for her decision to end the marriage with your son. Or it could be that she's really missing what she had with you. Sad. So so sad. However, you did the right thing by giving her a hug! And yes I would've given her one if we were on good terms especially in front of the granddaughter because it shows the granddaughter that even though people aren't together, they still can be civil or even loving. Don't let your son's anger or hurt tell you what you should or should not do. You're an adult and you raised your son, not the other way around. It's a shame that he's hurt by her and it's a shame that he thinks he can tell you what to do or not to do. You have to do what you feel is right and not let him or anyone else dictate what you are to do or not do. Hope he learns to get past the pain she's caused for it's really sad that anybody can be hurt that bad. Hopefully in due time he'll get past it and be able to move on with his life for there are so many more fish in the sea for him to choose from and maybe realize that just because one hurt you doesn't mean they all will for there's some good people out there, he just has to be a little more picky and choosy on who to date.

I think she misses you and the things you did together. There's nothing wrong with that and I don't feel she did this because of your granddaughter. If you don't have bad feelings towards her, I don't see anything wrong with it. Divorces are hard on everyone involved even if they don't show it. I don't think your son should ask you not to hug her anymore. What are you going to say to her?....um, sorry I'm not allowed to hug you. A hug is just a hug, not an invitation to go shopping again or do crafts together. She's still the mother of your granddaughter and you will still see her from time to time. I would keep it civil just like you're doing. No harm done.

Could be regret.. could also be something unrelated that she's dealing with and wanted comfort and support. Who knows. I think she's still family.. she's your granddaughter's mother. What else can you do but try to keep a decent relationship with her for your granddaughter's sake.

Yes, I would have done it too and as far as I know your DIL hasn't poisoned your GD against you like mine has. She probably regrets the ways things turned out and also perhaps wishes that the marriage had not gone pear shaped. It is good to keep in contact with her but not too friendly like doing crafts together again. Your son sounds stil very bitter over the divorce. I don't think tnat I would have told my son about it. I would and will do everything possible to keep it harmonious between you both so that your GD is still happy. another reality could be that she misses yhou and now that you are no longer in her life she realises what a great person you are and wishes that you were closer than before. She could also be regretting some of her past actions. Be glad my friend, that she is not telling your GD that you are Satan and are full of demons. and if their GM kisses them they are to get bleach and wipe the spot where she kissed them. This was the end for me and I have so much guilt over not allowing her to speak to the twins unless their father is there and he skypes their mother and he stays and listens to the conversation as we cannot take any more hatred and I have to deal with the fallout and bad behaviour after she has had a little talk with them. Her mother never calls to speak with them or invite them to stay although I would not allow it now as the mother would be on the phone to them poisoning them against me even further. I always grit my teeth and speak respectfully about their mother and she plays a major part when we says prayers each night. Nothing ill about her will not come from me or mine. This past week has been wonderful for me as the children have been happy and no anger. No unsupervised phone calls either.

I think i would have hugged her because it is the nice thing to do and she came to her mil for the hug. I would have done it to be nice to her but also because it was in front of the granddaughter. When someone asks for a hug it is nice to just give it mostly when they are wanting it and you know they need comfort. So yes do it because she is your family still the mother of your granddaughter and it is nice to give hugs when people want need them or ask for them.

There was nothing wrong with you hugging your ex DIL. It is healthy for your granddaughter to see good relationships between the adults in her life.

Aww Jill that is really nice and yes I would have given her a hug in spite of everything. She must have needed to reach out to someone and talk or cry or whatever. I think that nowadays this is becoming a must it really is we need to try and help each other all we can even if we do get the cold shoulder from them. I have to tell you Jill that I would find it very hard to hug my brother even if he wanted me to not that he ever would just a thought that came to mind there but if it was one of my nieces I would not hesitate at all I miss them so much sometimes. Your granddaughter has a very sensible little head on her shoulders and if needs be I would hug her again if she looked like she needed it. You have done the right thing for sure only listen to yourself.xxx

A divorce is never easy. And the end of something that was once beautiful is sad. But I would have done the same, if not for her, for my granddaughter. She must learn that family is still family, that whatever happens, she will always have her mom and grandma and that they can both be there for her whenever she needs them. The kid is experiencing some pretty rotten times already, she doesn't need anymore stress and heartbreaks.

Yes of course not just because your in front of your grand daughter for the sake of the time that you both shared with when she was still you as a daughter in law. Once you spent time together good memories still there, maybe she just misses you so much.

There's nothing wrong with a hug. That is not the issue here. I would not what's going on. She might not someone to talk to. Your son was upset about this. This makes me wonder if your daughter in law has some kind of attachment issue or certain emotional problems.

Oh ya, the hug was necessary and not just because your granddaughter was there! I know that getting a divorce means many positive experiences will have to be sacrificed at the same time. She misses the positive experiences that didn't out way the negative ones. And by the way, your son should not be dictating to you what you do or don't do! He's just creating drama and still trying to do the pay-back thing.