do you believe that you can be friend with your ex???????

South Korea
February 21, 2013 12:09am CST
I have many people saying that "you can't be friends with you ex?" Does anyone agree with this????? For me I do! I think it's depends on the person once you have accepted that you are not really meant for each other or you two bid goodbye in a graceful way... My first bf and I are friends though we had separated ways seven years ago... he had his own family already with a new bor kid.... but we keep our friendships though there's no continuous communication, but at least we are in a harmonious relationship, no grudges, no hatred.... we're friends in fb and sometimes he would press the button like in some of my post and pictures or would comment, but I on my part I don't do that coz I don't want to interfer with his family and be the cause of their mis understanding...and as a woman off course I know the feeling... but I'm happy in that situation... If only his wife would be open to be my friend , too I would... he he he
3 people like this
20 responses
• Poland
21 Feb 13
I don't think things can ever be the same after you parted with someone no matter if your break up was a disaster or if you said yourselves "thanks for everything". There will always be certain awkwardness between you two. You said yourself that you don't comment or like his photos on Facebook because of his wife. I don't think his other female friends restrain themself from commenting his photos. So as you can see you can be friendly but not quite close friends.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
yes, but knowing that we are at peace each other is what mattered,,,, we may not be as close as real friends do, I don't do that because I don't want to interfere with them but given a chance that his wife would be open to accept me and be their friends , well I would be happy!!! I know my limitations he he
• Dhaka, Bangladesh
21 Feb 13
Ex boy friend should be avoided as far as possible to avoid confusion and suspect between you and your present boy friend. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
well I think as long as you don't do anything wrong it's ok........ except when one still has a feeling for his/her ex...they can be friends but they should of course know their limits especially when one is in a relationship already....
1 person likes this
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Feb 13
I believe 100% because most of my exes were still friends until now. It depends on how you treat your ex before you broke up. I have the one ex who happened a member here. She's my close friend now. Besides of what happened to us before, it's not a hindrance to cut our friendship. We have different life now and no need to treat bad to any of us.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Feb 13
yes, it's possible! but some people don't like to have any connection to their exes
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
wow!!!!!! really?? that's great!! so it's possible indeed to some!! cheers for that!!
• South Korea
23 Feb 13
it's sad that others are against with but we should respect their decision,,,
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
22 Feb 13
It depends on the term that I broke up with that guy. If it was on good terms it's easy to become good friends with him. However, if I broke with that person based on bad terms, Hell no am not going to become good friends with him. Much more, if you want to move on, you should just keep away from that person.
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
25 Feb 13
Yes indeed. lol
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
I respect your decision,,,so it is really depends on the person he he
@Janurmas (642)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 13
I don't agree with that statement. I can make a friendship with my ex. My ex is being worked in a company where I am also work. We always meet everyday, and we often have lunch together.
@Janurmas (642)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 13
Yes, I think so. We both still single. But none of us would like to make a closer relationship again between us. I would like to find someone else better than her.
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
why ? isn't she better yet for you??? sorry for the question he he he well, if you are both happy with that kind of arrangement, nothing's wrong,,, so I wish you , too would finally find the right one one for you ...so good luck! ;-)
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
oh! wow! that's great!!...glad to hear that you can still have lunch together...well i can't do that with my ex because he's not here's in the Philippines he he he.... good for you too, and if both of you are still single...maybe there's still a chance for you..he he he
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
21 Feb 13
I am friends with my ex only becuse of bills and pets but a move is coming and they wont be here for the pets and the money i can take to the parents home
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
21 Feb 13
HI! It will depend upon from person to person. If your ex boy friend (now married) is still on your friend's list and you occasionally interact, it is OK. If you both feel comfortable in this kind of arrangement, I do not think any person should have any problem. It is also true that his wife may not easily your friendship with your ex because she might see it as a threat.
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
21 Feb 13
I more or less agree with you.
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
yes not all but if one would only learn how to forgive it's possible... even if you cannot be as close as you did before,,, both of them will be at peace..
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
21 Feb 13
I agree with you MHernandez that you can be friends with an ex. I have 2 ex boyfriends that i'm friends with. One i broke up with because i move out of that state to be with my family when they moved. We are good friends on facebook only and we are both married he with kids. The other one is divorced but has kids and we are just friends on facebook. I think you can be friends with an ex depending on howyou broke up and if the person is willing to be just friends. When when i chatted with one ex on facebook while i was visiting my family when they moved back to where i moved from he wanted to see me but we both decided not to because of what might happen so we are just friends on facebook.
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
that's great yeah,, we can but of course it has limitation,,, especially when one has a family of his/her own already so as not to interfere with life that might cause something else...
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
21 Feb 13
I do agree that you can be frinds with your ex, as i was married 35 years, when my husband at that time asked me for a divorce. i never thought it would happen, and I was completly devastated. the worst thing of all, he asked me for a divorce on Christmas Eve 2005. I wanted to sit down with him to discuss it, and he refused, even when i called pasotr to come and talk to us. to make a long story short, my son came and got me and helped me move in February 2006, and I stayed with them for a short time before i got my own apartment. Well, to make a long story short, our divorce was final in January of 2007, and since then we have been in communication every day, as he calls me every morning. he even comes and does my taxes for me every year. We both decided that it would be best to remain good friends for the kids sake, and to this day or daughter wants nothing to do with him, and for awhile our son didn't either, but he finally came around, and he spends the holidays with our son as well as I do too. I didn't think I could live alone, as i wasn't used to it, but I have been managing, and now that i am divorced, I couldn't see myself married again. i am glad that we are friends, as I still care about him. not sure if I still love him though, but i don't want anything to happen to him. Take care, and have a great day.
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
I'm speechless reading your response,,,, but as long as your happy with that ,, good for you... I think it's your children that keep you both to be friends with each other... It must be painful for you, truly,,, it happens but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life ....all the best for you, rosekiss!!
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
22 Feb 13
It is really depends of the decision of both parties if they want to be friends or not. But in my case if that thing will happen to me then that is really a corny thing because my point of view there is if you are ex then you are just ex that is consider as stranger already which is you are not part of my life already. In my opinion it is part of sense of respect and decency if we don't have communications at all, not invited in any occasions and other things.
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
you were right, too.i think it's a case to case basis he hehe...
@keihimekawa (2009)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
I think this would depend on how you two separate. I mean, if you able to talk things through and had closure and stuffs, then I think you can be friends since both of you were able to talk things out. On the other hand, if there's no closure (like my case), I think it would take some time before you can be back on being friends. I still don't have any forms of communication with my ex even if he agreed we're still on friendly terms. Well, in all honesty, I'm happy for him since he's now married and had a child but we still haven't spoken a word to each other via text or phone of FB after he broke up our relationship through a text message.
• South Korea
22 Feb 13
that's a another story,,, well, all you have to do is continue with your life as he does... so if he doesn't want to talk about it , not a problem though .... it is really possible only to those who are willing ;-)
• Greece
21 Feb 13
My ex and I have remained on good terms after we divorced, we don't socialise any longer, but we do have occasional contacts on Facebook and we speak on the telephone sometimes. Our marriage lasted 11 years and he was my first love, although we agreed to go our separate ways we did not harbour any ill feelings. I did not dwell on the things that went wrong and over a period of time I can only remember the nicer moments now. He has not married again, although I have. If he had married again I do not know whether I would want his wife to be my friend, not that I would have anything against her but I would not want to share my memories with her.
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
wow!! nice to hear that!!
@shimaya (141)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
As for me, I think ex lovers can be friends but in due time. Everything takes place at the right time and at the right place. Even if it will take years there will come a time that your roads will cross again and maybe that time you'll be able to be friends again.
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
yes, Shimaya!!! just keep on vbelieving and keep on working on the wound that was created in the past........ yes, I got your point but we should also ask ourselves (if in case a person cannot move on yuet) until when???????? maybe we can stat working on it litle by little,,, slowly but sure he he he
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
ex lovers can never be friends..
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
maybe for some people who can't learn how to forgive... ;-)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
maybe, because past is past just learn from it and forget.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
This would depend, i think i have answered this far too many times in mylot as well.It depend on which ex we are talking about. so here is what I am to say to each one of those: first ex - yeah i can be friends with him because we have not hurt each other when we separated, it was a mutual decision that we can no longer move forward with the relationship, that we are too far from each other, we were close friends then and yes we are still friends now and still chat from time to time. 2nd ex - no way will i want to even see this man. come on! i can be friends with anyone, but not him anymore. I can be civil with him and i know i will not make a scene if i see him (even if seeing him will actually just invite me to want to kick his ** and slap his face.) He cheated on me, made a fool our of me, and connived to make me look and feel stupid - even his whole family knew about his cheating, they are like a family of cheaters, i guess! SO no. i will not be friends with him, and i would rather just be a loner if he is the only person in the world left to be friended. hehehe
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
yes it really depends but I think it's possible even to the one that a person has bad times with!!! maybe it will take some time,,,, but can be when one learns to forget and forgive... it's a hard thing but maybe we can....once the wound is healed!
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
5 Mar 13
A break up can be okay if both people are keen on it. Then hopefully there won't be any love left or hurt feelings. There is a possibility of keeping the friendship and still seeing each other of friends sometimes. One of my friends dated a man when she was 18 to 22 years old. They became friends again after they split up. She is now aged 40 years old and he is now 41 years old. He is married to another lady he met when he was 36 years old. She lives with another man. In some situations there could be mistaken ideas of the friendship with the ex. The person with the relationship should not become jealous.
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
21 Feb 13
What you did is really practical. You are very considerate to think for his family. Some of my friend they still maintain their ex as friends but nothing more than that. Some they still contact their ex husband but as cautious friend when need arises like asking for help on emergency matter. If they can maintain at certain level, in harmony I think it is all right.
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
yes,, I just trying to put myself in their shoe...he he ;-)
@arviez (183)
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
First I would like to say that bad or good things happened in life we learned from it right? So my answer for that question above is absolutely true you can be friends with your ex if you are not a bitter person regardless of any circumstances as long as you are a matured person you two can be friends and there is no impossible about that if you just do it and give it a try after all you have so many things already shared so whats the matter?
• South Korea
21 Feb 13
you're right! yes maybe it's about maturity....forgiveness and acceptance...because even to some of my ex's we're still friends though we had some bad times.... well, I admit that we cut off communication but then later we ended up to be friends...
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
it takes time to be friends with your ex, i mean it cant happen during your break-up the next hour you"ll be friends, duh! things should be accepted, and maybe healed, i believe both should go separate ways to do each other thing and have a life after breaking up and soon when both see each other again and maybe that would be the time to be friends with your ex again.
• Indonesia
22 Feb 13
yeah you were right. it's depends to ourself. if we realized that we and our ex are can't be so what a great deal if we become a friends.