Dance with my father..

February 21, 2013 7:21am CST
I always been a father's pet. Since childhood until now that I have my own family. It's so hard to get by every time I have a problem whether it is about marital, parenthood, financial problem, I always longed for my father. I want to be with him and talked to him about what's there bothering me instead of talking it out with my husband. Do you think it is normal if I acted this way every time there are problems occurring regarding my own family? Or should I confide it to my husband instead?
3 people like this
15 responses
@tyleremy (170)
• China
22 Feb 13
Hi,empiretower!That explains everthing, you have a close bond with your father with he took care everthing well for his family when you were young.Your father has been there and he surely is experinced dealing those things.There is no way not to trust him anyway.But since you stary a family of your own, you should consider to disucss those with your husband,at least it is life of your two now and you should trust your husband that you two could work out those problems.
22 Feb 13
yes, thank you for enlightening me.
@marguicha (217312)
• Chile
22 Feb 13
I had a very close relationship with my father but, unlike you, that helped me confide in my husband and get closer to him. As I continued being very close to my father, my husband learned to love him and they both behaved as father and son, helping each other in many ways.
22 Feb 13
Thank you. I think I have to try that stategy.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
28 Feb 13
I never had the same chance with my father. It saddens me that it has to be this way with us - i grew up without him by my side, and now i do not even think about him, how his life has become and if he ever thinks of us (his real family). Anyway regarding your concern... since you are married and your husband is right here with you, I suppose he would love to have your attention too. Your father is a different person and maybe your husband would appreciate the time you give him when you confide in him what bothers you. It is okay to tell your father, he will understand but i think maybe you should try to lessen letting him worry about you and what you are going through. Your husband is your extended family now and he deserved to know what is troubling or bothering you.
@leateagee (3667)
• China
13 Mar 13
. In my opinion it is normal. Your connection with him is great. My parents divorced when I was three and I seldom saw my father. I never longed for him. Until the day he passed away there was no I miss him feeling. But I respect my parents decision and I have no hurt feelings towards them. Now that I have a daughter that is one of my wish, that she'll be able to dance with her father.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
26 Feb 13
I don't think there is anything wrong in asking help from your dad. I am sure he greatly appreciates the time you spend with him and just the fact that he is first on your mind when you want some advice. It is always better to go to the person whom you are most comfortable with. Coz I , even if I do have my husband, and I feel like seeking advice, I would rather ask it from another person whom I know will listen to me and would really value what I say.
• Poland
21 Feb 13
It's great that you have that kind of strong connection with your dad and I think it's perfectly normal. It's good to talk to someone hen you are facing difficulties and family members are very common choice. If talking to your dad makes you feel better and helps you deal with the problem then it's a positive thing. But you should also remain on your husband from time to time so he won't feel excluded. There is another important man in your life besides your dad so let him feel that his oppinions matters too.
22 Feb 13
Thank you for that lovely comment. That really helps.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
25 Feb 13
I think once you are married most things should be discussed with your husband. I don't think its totally normal for everything to go by your father first. Some things are ok but everything is a problem. I can't imagine my hubby dealing with such a thing. I don't think has much as he loves my parents that he would feel comfortable me talking to my dad when concerning marital problems, financial problems or parenting. For me it doesn't make alot of sense. I know my Dad also wouldn't be comfortable hearing all these problems from me.
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
You're such a daddy's girl and I admire you for that. Well, for one, you can never go wrong with parents--dads, in your case. They are the best advisers in the world even if a lot of times most of us don't see it that way. Second, He's still going to be your dad no matter the wrong decisions and disobedience. Third, no payment required. If you feel comfortable confiding and asking advice from him, you're on the right track. That doesn't mean, though, that you have to make hubby feels he has no voice. Listen to him as well and acknowledge every appreciation/advice/word that you get from him. After all, it is going to be you will decide which path to take. Go ahead and dance with your father now.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
It's very nice to know that you are that close to your father, my friend. However, when one is married i think that there are some things that ought to be made known to our husband alone. Though, a father can also listen to some problems, the husband should also be taken into consideration.
@Dassodils (2010)
• India
22 Feb 13
Hai friend.. Nice to know that still you keep that same love and relationship after marriage.While getting marriage most people will begin to love and care their husband.And they will not mind their parents except for their needs.I salute you for that.What about your mother??I heard that most girls will be very closed to their father and boys will be very closed to their mother.Is n't it?? But I am attached to both of them.No changes.Your father will be very proud to get a daughter like you..Thank you and keep it up..Happy mylotting.. :)
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
Hello there ! Dad's are just incomparable ! They are the greatest , no one can ever replace him in our hearts. True , any problem we can confide to him , may it financial , emotional , intellectual issues . Dad's love to us was unconditional. His lost was the our greatest sorrow ever. Dad was gone but his teachings and legacy shall lived on. When we have trouble though physically he was not around still we pulled strength from them. Dad will lived forever in our heart !
• Philippines
22 Feb 13
Well your married, you love and respect your husband, please if possible confide to your husband but if your husband can handle it then that's the time you can confide to your father.
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
I envy your closeness with your father. It feels good to have someone whom you can confide and discuss everything. If talking to your father will make you feel better, then it's alright but you should also be taking into consideration the fact that you have your better half. If it's a problem involving you own family, I guess it should be discussed by you and your hubby alone. The very first person that needs to know about it should be him because you are ONE and it's about your own family. If there's a need to get some advise, then it's alright to tell your dad about it but you should tell your husband first as a sign of respect to your partner. :)
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
22 Feb 13
this is a normal act and there is nothing wrong with it we have to learn to move on and talk to our spouse
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
Well I admire you for having a close relationship with your father. But in that instances, you should consult and talk to your husband first regarding on those issues. Because those problems should be settle within the two of you instead of consulting you parent. :)