learning how to say No to children

@pomwango (1354)
Kenya
March 7, 2013 9:56pm CST
i am upset that my niece is so spoilt being an only child her parents have let her get away with so much.she is now a nuisance because when she visits my home it gets on my nerves that she is so demanding of things, she cries for my kids toys,wants to write on their books and keeps wanting to have her way.i think as a parent we need to be able to trai our kids at home to respect peoples things and do with what they are given but not crying and causing tantrums for what is not theirs.have you come across such kids or are yours part of such acts?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@kaka135 (14120)
• Malaysia
9 Mar 13
How old is your niece? I understand children always have strong will, especially when they are 3 or 4 years old. I always try to fulfill my kids' need as much as I can, but definitely within boundaries. I agree with you that learning to say NO to children is important, but must explain to them why NO. Also, we need to teach them to love and respect others, this is really important in their lives.
@jenny1015 (13380)
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
I have trained mu kids to behave all the time when they are in a different house and if there are kids coming over, I always tell them to share their toys. There is one nephew on my husband that was a brat when he was younger. He would throw tantrums each time his mom would not give him what he wants. Well, he has somewhat tamed over the years, but when he gets crazy sometimes, he punches his mother so hard. i have told my sister in law that he should not let his son do that to her or to anyone. It is just not right. And she should be able to say NO when the answer should be really NO.
@blackrusty (3526)
• Mexico
8 Mar 13
well Parents should be taking a class on how to raise your child as there is no books on it and yes this maybe the only child but to spoil the child and to let her get away with anything is wrong how is this child going to grow up and what type of person will they become sad days when the child get to school
@natliegleb (5182)
• India
8 Mar 13
it is quite hard at the initial stage,but once we get to their heart we can control it and their desire and teach them all for good and say it is unwanted and make them realise
• Indonesia
8 Mar 13
Yes, too spoiled child would be easy to give up when they have difficulties, it is due to always indulge all requests since childhood. And not to mention in your case even when she's a child she's so easily to throw tantrum to get her way. This is not a good and healthy sign for her. It's necessary for her parents to train her since young since it'll be making her to have much more difficuties once she become an adult.
@katsmeow1213 (28926)
• United States
8 Mar 13
Sometimes it's just the kids though. I've raised all mine the same way.. and my youngest is more demanding than any of the others. He's defiant and stubborn. Typical punishments don't usually work on him because he's so stubborn. Though still he's relatively behaved when we're not at home.. he can just be testy sometimes when we are at home.
@lumenmom (1995)
• United States
8 Mar 13
I am a parent of an only child and while she does not act like that, I do have a hard time saying no sometimes when I should. Our biggest problem is junk food. I let her get away with having it too much and now she developed terrible eating habits. She's 11 and though still young enough to adjust, she also is in a better position to get foods when I am not around. I am sorry I did not better address this when she was younger. As a parent of an only child, I know we sometimes try to compensate for the lack of siblings with other things. One thing I do insist on is my child respecting other people's things but this is something that comes natural for her so I don't have issues in that area.
@doroffee (4228)
• Hungary
8 Mar 13
I don't have kids yet, but I'm a bit afraid of the era when I have to teach my kids that they can't get everything they want. I mean, I know, it should happen, because I don't wanna brinbg up "the world should revolve around me" type of spoiled brats, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna be good at that.
@Paper_Doll (2375)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
I always believe that kids should learn self discipline at an early stage because the older they become, the harder it would be to teach them how to discipline themselves. My husband is such a spoiler, saying No but not standing to what he said. Whenever this kid would like to have his way, he would always give up and give him what he wants. But this afternoon, I talked to this kid and told him not to throw and mess with his food whenever we won't give him what he wants. I call one of the fastfood staff, the one cleaning the tables, and introduce him to the child. I told the child that he is the one cleaning the dirty tables so it would not be good if he would continue to throw his food everywhere. The child stopped and seem to understand what I said. But after a while, this child called the staff by the name "Germs!" because he said he cleans dirt and germs.
@justyou (68)
• China
8 Mar 13
Yeah,so dose my niece,but i still love her,she is so lovely.But i have no children now,when we get together ,i ofen get some strange stuff she have never get, then she would not boring me anymore but to play with her toys..
• Lenox, Georgia
8 Mar 13
What people fail to realize is it is a LOT easier to discipline them when they are younger rather than letting them get away with everything and them being a brat as they get older. It would be a lot less work to correct the behavior when it first starts rather than letting it get out of control! I have had to actually stop being friends with certain parents that I knew because I absolutely could not stand the kids. I had one friend who I enjoyed spending time with but her two boys would beat up on my daughter. The boys were 3 & 4 years old and my daughter was only a year old. They would push her, hit her, throw sand in her face, take toys away from her, etc. I finally had to tell the woman that I could not be friends with her anymore because I was tired of my daughter being treated so badly! I lost her friendship all because she did not want to discipline her children!! Sad. My children know how to behave, we have taught them since they were little that tantrums and not sharing were unacceptable. Now, I don't have to worry because they already know what is expected of them...
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
Yes, sometimes we need to say no to them. We should not spoil them, because they might get used to it. And we will be the one who will suffer if they grow-up a spoiled brat. We should explain and teach them while they were young that not all they want will be given to them.
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
8 Mar 13
yes it is good to learn to say no on the other things, we need to discipline our child at an early age by means of talking to them so that they will know the right and wrong. :)