are you a passive listener? / myLot

Philippines

March 9, 2013 7:06am CST

have you ever experienced talking to someone then often disrupted your story by topping it with his own? Do you suddenly feel the loss of momentum knowing that he or she did not even listen at all to you? Or are you like this without even realizing that you really are that kind of listener? Listening by ear is different from listening by heart. This might be one of the reasons why any relationship turn sour at some point. We need someone to listen to us intently the same way the other people want to. When someone is in the heat of sharing her thoughts and feelings, always give that person a time for it. It won't hurt waiting for your turn. Listening is vital process of communication. If you do not know how to listen, expect that there will always be misunderstanding and worse it might cause to something more serious.

5 responses

paperdolls28

@paperdolls28 (222)

• Philippines

9 Mar 13

Hi cheri! Thanks for this discussion. I always make sure to listen by heart so I can feel their emotion. I also put my cellphones aside so it won't interrupt the momentum of someone who is sharing. I used to work in BPO/call center where listening by heart and understanding is a must.

cherigucchi

@cherigucchi (14879)

• Philippines

10 Mar 13

wHAT a good training you have there! But don't you think its quite different from real listening though? And since you are the one always listening, have you not wanted to be listened to at times?

pahak627

@pahak627 (4558)

• Philippines

9 Mar 13

I agree with you we should know how to listen and I guess I am a listener. I listen and then say only when my friend finish telling me her problems. I experienced having been interrupted while I was telling my problem to a friend.

cherigucchi

@cherigucchi (14879)

• Philippines

9 Mar 13

...and being interrupted is not really a good feeling, right? And we do not want others to feel that way either. So perhaps if we display a good art of listening, then they will learn to follow our model.

Angel

@nanayangel (7879)

• Philippines

9 Mar 13

Hi there Cherigucchi! Welcome to Mylot! I can say that I am a relatively good listener and most of the time, it happens that I wait before someone finish their story and I forget what I am about to say. I have poor memory and that happens a lot to me. But, it's okay even when sometimes, it totally gets lost and you know that nagging feeling when you have something to say and forget about it? You would try so hard to remember it and it just stinks when you can't. I also try to empathize with other people since I would not want someone to cut me abruptly when I am speaking.

@cherigucchi (14879)

• Philippines

9 Mar 13

Thanks, my friend. I am truly glad to be here as well. A lot of people forget how important listening is. Respect begets respect. If we want to be heard we should also learn how to hear other people's views.

doroffee

@doroffee (4222)

• Hungary

9 Mar 13

Most of the times I'm an active listener. I'm a great advice giver and concentrate fully on what people say. But sometimes I'm a hyper talkative mood. I work on that, but then I can be a passive listener...

Cherry3330

@Cherry3330 (213)

• Philippines

24 Apr 13

Yes, I've talked to someone who would not stop trying to talk while I'm talking. I've had to ask him more than once to please listen to my story first. When I'm the one listening, I usually have no trouble being passive. I have trouble finding something to say after I have listened to the one speaking...