I lost my baby

@chicgale (2982)
Philippines
March 11, 2013 7:59am CST
I am very very depress right now. I lost my baby. I really cannot accept that this is happening to me. I really wanted that baby and I was being very careful about my pregnancy.. huhuhuhuhuhu I just got out from the hospital and still I cannot accept it. My boyfriend doesn't know yet. He was very excited that I got pregnant and we had many plans about our baby and US. The day after I spoke with him, I had a miscarriage.. We were very happy when we were talking on the phone.. And right now I can't contact him coz they don't signal since he is working at sea. What am I gonna do? I am so depress. I don't know how to tell him. I hope our relationship will still be OK...
11 people like this
62 responses
@MandaLee (3737)
• United States
11 Mar 13
Hi chicgale, I am so very sorry. Trust in the Lord. He has a plan for your life. He will work all of this out for good. You are in my prayers.
2 people like this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Thank you Mandalee
• Indonesia
11 Mar 13
hello, chicgale, I'm sorry to hear that.. but telling the truth is the best. I'm sure your boyfriend will understand and nothing happen with your relationship. I know it's very hurt to loose your baby, but believe, it may be the best thing right now, because God will give you another try in better situation. you have to calm down and stay strong. first pregnancy is often hard for every woman
2 people like this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
This is not my first pregnancy. I have a baby already from my ex and the baby that I lost was my boyfriend's first baby.
@jillhill (37374)
• United States
11 Mar 13
I am so sorry! I don't know what to say except I lost one too and you never forget them...you always wonder how things would have been....but there is a next time for you...so look forward to that. It's such a big disappointment I know..
2 people like this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Yes, I am very disappointed about it since we were very happy and excited about that baby. I am very depress right now coz I am alone and my boyfriend is far from me. I still didn't hear from him and probably won't hear from him until next week.
• Philippines
11 Mar 13
Unless you can fake a baby, I guess you're gonna have to tell him. I'm sorry for your loss but if you're planning to lie to him, this will be very difficult to pull off. There's this thing called staging. It's where you lead him on to the bad news by carefully saying bits and pieces of information of that bad news. This usually works with irate customers. I don't know if it will also work in this type of situation.
2 people like this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
No, I will tell him.
@mariaperalta (19088)
• Mexico
11 Mar 13
So sorry to hear that. The good thing is your health is good. Take care of yourself there.
• United States
12 Mar 13
sorry about your loss. My daughter loss her child , stilborn and she hurted for many days so did we all. This has been a few years back.. I prayed about it and did not understand. I learned Jesus Loves all the little children . I learned we did not have all the answers why things happen the way they do. I know in time there will be more children. she now has another child..I guess what I am trying to say. you are loved and always will be. it takes time and you will be healed..pray about this and I do not know about if you are a christain or not but try prayer anyway..talk to some pastor , talk to a christain, talk to God yourself he will help you through this, talk to Him just like anyone else you talk to ..He will send someone your way...Your boyfriend will understand , He needs to know.. tell Him in a kind way..the love between you both should be strong to help one another..get married, make plans , then think about if you want more children and afford a child..then talk to a doctor about this also.. it is good you are talking to others it does help and do not keep by yourself share your thoughts alot of friends are here to help you through..
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Thank you so much for telling me this. I keep praying everyday why this happens. I know God has a plan and a purpose, but still I don't know yet. I am very very depress right now specially that I am alone. I don't have anybody to talk to and I am still grieving. I am trying to move on and I really want to accept the truth that I am not pregnant anymore but still I can't move on for now. I know I will accept this thing in time.
• United States
14 Mar 13
give yourself time, NEVER give up, if you ever need someone to talk to I am here also so is alot of good friends here on my lot. you are not alone ever..
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Thank you so much, and I am thankful also that myLot is here coz I can write what I am feeling here.
@jaiho2009 (38988)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Sorry to hear this but please don't blame yourself. I am sure your boyfriend will understand. It's not your fault and you never want it to happen as well. Take care of yourself and don't be so stressed...
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I am very stressed and depressed right now. He called me two nights ago but our conversations lasted only 2 minutes and he didn't call back. I sent him a lot of text messages and explained to him how I felt and how it happened and what the doctor said. I never received any responds from him. When I told him that when I was spotting, and the doctor asked another ultrasound, and the result that the baby wasn't there anymore. He said, "it's not true that you were pregnant?" and we got cut off. So, I assumed I fooled him. I am just hoping that he received all my text messages and I am hoping that he will call his mom coz his mom visited at the hospital twice and she was very worried of me having a miscarriage.
@jaiho2009 (38988)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I am sure he's also depressed by this time and that could be the reason why he choose to be silent. He will come to realize about everything especially that his mom knows it all.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I hope so. I hope he is not mad at me and I hope he believed me. I am a little bit worried about him. I keep praying that he will txt me and tell me about what he felt. If he don't want me to bother him for now, I hope he will tell me.
• United States
12 Mar 13
Hi! Here's a hug---and maybe another? Box of tissues--check! I am so sorry you lost your little bundle as I remember going through those feelings/expectations. I didn't miscarry but I am a mother. Anyway, do try to tell your boyfriend when you've calmed down enough to keep your emotions in check and that MAY help him to do the same. Can you tell him how it happened? When you are both ready, do ask your dr. what you can do to increase your chances and just go from there. In the meantime, try to keep yourself reasonably busy so you can keep the depression at bay. As I too suffer from mild depression, just doing a couple things does lift the spirits even if it's just thinning out the wardrobe for a charity, sifting through some piles, starting a new class to develop a hobby, etc. Your friends will give you credit for it and you'll feel better too. Hang in there!
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Thank you Cricket. I am still grieving. I was very happy when I found out that I was pregnant coz finally I was carrying a baby to the man I really love. This is a very big disappointment to me. I am just hoping that I will feel better soon.
• United States
14 Mar 13
Hello. I'm sure you will! :) HUG!
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45805)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
i guess your daughter is very sad, too. if you've been very careful and seeing your doctor regularly and following orders, then please don't blame yourself anymore. if the ob-gyne did not tell you that your baby is at risk and you have to go on bed reset, then i don't think there's any way you could predict it or stop it from happening. maybe it just wasn't meant to be. maybe you need more time to get to really know each other because everything happened too fast and too soon. being away from each other and losing the baby, all these things may be challenges to see just how much your really mean to each other and if you really want to make your relationship last. he deserves to know the truth so the next time you get to talk to him, tell him at once.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Thank you. It is just very depressing and disappointing that this happen to me. I really wanted that baby and we were both happy and excited about that baby. I am just hoping that he will contact me soon.
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
where's your mother? or sister or aunt or cousin?
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
I am sorry to hear about that. I know nothing will comfort you in your current situation. Right now what you need more i cling to our God. He can give you the comfort that you are seeking. Speak to Him through prayers and give Him everything that you are feeling right now. As for your boyfriend, I still think that you will still be okay. He will still love you and he will give you comfort so don't be afraid to tell him. Again I am sorry and I hope you;ll get over it soon. You will be part of my prayer.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Thank you so much. I know God has a better plan for me and my boyfriend. But, I still can't accept it coz I know the baby was in my womb and I was carrying it for more than 2 months.
@maximax8 (31175)
• United Kingdom
12 Mar 13
I am very sorry that you have lost your baby in a miscarriage. I know it feels heat braking and devastating to you. You were being so healthy in your pregnancy so this has come as a shock to you. I understand how depressed you feel and that it must be awfully upsetting to lose a baby in a pregnancy. I hope you boyfriend will stay with you and be loving towards you. I think that you need his love and care. It is unfortunate that your boyfriend is at sea working. I haven't ever had a miscarriage however a friend of mine did so. Her boyfriend said when she had the miscarriage he didn't need to marry her then. I don't think he really meant that but at the time he was feeling sad. They did get married and have now got two delightful daughters. Another friend's sister had a still born daughter. That was very upsetting for everyone. She went on to have two sons. Good luck. Take care.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Thank you maxima. I am still very depressed right now. This is very disappointing and very upsetting. Yes, I was very shocked and couldn't really believed that it happened to me coz when I found out that I was pregnant, I was very very happy, and now, God took it from me. I know He has plans for me and that baby is not really for me. But I still cannot accept it. I am very very sad.
• United States
12 Mar 13
I'm very sorry for your loss Chicgale. You are grieving your loss and that is natural. You will probably continue to grieve for some time. You can't accept it, because you wanted this baby so much. I know what you are feeling. I have list a baby before and I had an empty spot in my heart for many years. I did accept it but that didn't make the pain ant less hurtful. My daughter list 3 babies. She lost her first one in the first trimester. The next two were born premature and one lived 12 hours and the other lived 3 months and 2 days. She still feels that loss, but she has learned to accept her loss over time. It does get better. It took me years but I did get better where I don't think about it. I'm 62 years old and I still think if my baby from time to time. I think about her (I thought if it as a her) being 41 now if she had been born. Allow yourself some time. Feel your feelings. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Maybe even write your feelings in a journal. I journal quite a bit. Hope you will feel better soon. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Yes, I really wanted that baby so much coz when I found out that I got pregnant, I was very very happy that finally I got pregnant from the man I really love, but then God took it away from me. I know it will take time for me to move on and accept it. I am very depress right now. I am trying to move on and I wanna accept it that it happened already, but I can't help it. I am very down right now.
@joycseer (845)
• Malaysia
12 Mar 13
Hi chicgale, so sorry to hear of your lost. I know how you feel since you and your boyfriend were so happy and excited for the coming baby, and now is gone. I wish you relationship will still be alright, and hope you may get over this sadness and move on. Be strong... There will still be another day, which means there will still be an opportunity for you both to have a baby again. Take care since you just had a miscarriage. You need to replenishment the vitamins your body requires.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Thank you Joy. Yes, I am trying to move on, but I still can't accept it. I am still depress and I am hoping that I will be Ok soon. I am still bleeding right now and I don't why. I am still in pain. I tried to call my doctor and she just told me to see her next week.
@jenny1015 (13376)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Hello, Chicgale! I am o sorry for your lost. I know that nothing could really make you feel better but I do hope that you will be able to accept what has happened and not be bitter about it. Just be as honest as you can to your boyfriend. You didn't want it to happen. I am sure he would understand.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I told him the truth but he seemed he didn't care at all. I am very stressed and depressed.
@akyenez (21)
• Nigeria
12 Mar 13
Am very sorry about your loss, in no time, God will compensate you. Be strong.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
I'll try. thank you
• China
12 Mar 13
I feel so sorry to hear about this news,and could you tell me why you miscarriage?I think this is more important because you can heal it them this disaster will not happen to you any more. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
The doctor told me that is genetic or chromosomal problem.
@Bhebelen14 (5200)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
HI Chicgale, i am very very sorry for your lost my dear friend, your situation is very hard and sensitive right now but i think you need relax for a while until you regain your strength. As soon as you contact him much better to tell the truth, for sure he will understand you and need to help each other to accept the situation.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Thank you Bhebelen, but I won't be OK until I can talk to him. It is very hard to reach him. All I do right now is grieve especially that no one is comforting me here right now.
@gkutti (111)
12 Mar 13
dear chicgale, i am really sorry for what happened to you. but do not worry, find some company for a while and inform your boy friend as soon as you can. he too will be disappointed in the beggining but will slowly get on the board and be there with you to support you. you need rest and good food. never quite food, you need to keep up your strength. you can try for more babies in future when you boy friend comes back. stay calm. this sadness does not last forever. get well soon... do not loose hope.....
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Thank you, but right now I am just too depress. I can't wait to talk to him.
@chiyosan (30213)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Hi there chicgale, I am so sorry to hear about what has happened. Let us always know that everything happens for a reason. We know it is really a tough time for you and your BF, but hold on to each other and always know that you still have got each other. talk to him, tell him about what has happened and it is not only your problem and you do not need to go through this on your own. I would not worry about your relationship because if you do love each other, i am sure you both will get through this stronger and with more love for each other. I will pray for your quick recovery.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
Thank you chiyosan. It is just hard for me.
• United States
12 Mar 13
I am sorry to know of your troubles. I went through it a long time ago. it will hurt for a few years. I hope and pray you can have another chance. I did have one more child but,not able to have any more. Your still young so give life a chance. if you can't talk to your man maybe you could text him and he gets it. here in my house my signal is terrible but,I can text here. I hope for the best with you.
1 person likes this
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 13
I am very depress about what happened and I can't accept it for now. I am afraid that I won't get pregnant anymore or it will happen again. It is very hard to reach my boyfriend coz the ship doesn't have signal unless they pass an island and can pick up signal via satellite.