Update
By redredrose
@redredrose (1105)
United States
March 13, 2013 9:19am CST
About a month ago i started this discussion I have this friend who is in love with a guy that lives in Colorado and she lives in Missouri. They used to know each other in Colorado before she moved to Missouri. Any way nearly 2 months ago he was here for business and wanted to see her and so she went to his hotel for the night and she said all they did was talk. Then the next day he goes home and they chat for a bit on fb and he calls her one time and then never chats on fb or calls her or texts her or writes her a letter nothing and its been nearly 2 months now. she says he doesn't call or chat with her because hes living with his brother in his brother's house and his brother doesn't want him to have anything to do with her because his brother doesn't like her so he cant even chat on fb with her. Well last night i got on fb to chat with her and told her i think she should move on because it's been nearly 2 months and he hasn't called hasn't chatted wont add her to his friends list wont write to her nothing. I told her he could use his cell to call her or go to pat phone outside his brother's house to call tell hs brother hes going away for business and come see her and write her a letter and just go to the post office to mail it so his brother wont know. I told her there ar so many ways he can contact her that his brother won't know about and since hes doing none of it you need to move on because your wasting your time waiting for him and hes hurting you. She then went on to tell me all her other friends have said it'll be ok and he'll call and been behind her and not told her to move on. What i want to know is was i wrong to tell her to move on or should i have just said anything she wanted to hear to keep my best friend. she took me off her fb friends list and wont answer my phone calls either. I don't want to lose her as a friend forever we were so close like sisters. Was i wrong and what should i do? Well the update is that she started calling me again and re added me to her friends list on fb and last night we went out for the first time since January. Now i'm not sure why she decided to be mu friend again. I mean was it because i apologized or she missed me or she knows i was right i do not know but i never asked her why i just accepted she is my friend again.I don't ask why because i don't want to ruin a good thing and i don't talk about this guy anymore with her. She is my friend again and i am thankful.also thanks for all the advice everyone gave me and for all the help.
8 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Mar 13
maybe she is finally realising you are right but is ashamed to admit it
and maybe she realises you are her only REAL true frind. because you actually told her the truth and she knows it deep down that you are only looking out for her.
@redredrose (1105)
• United States
14 Mar 13
This may be true what you said bunny but she is still waiting on the guy and even sent him a letter and some pictures. I want to tell her to move on but i don't want to lose her as a friend again and for good this time. Also when i was wanting to date my hubby i waited 18 months til he finally broke up for good with his g/f and then called to ask me out so maybe she can wait too. Tho i don't tell her wait or move on anymore.
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
14 Mar 13
I am starting to wonder if he has a wife or is involved in a relationship and is using his brother as an excuse. I cannot see this guy not speaking to your friend because his brother will not allow him to. I could understand if the brother could not us the house phone because it is long distance, but the guy could buy a calling card, use his cell phone, sign up for Skype and chat online. I am glad that you see these red flags and have warned her about the guy. Do you have the guy on your face book page? If you do I would just have a casual chat and ask if he has heard from your friend and see if he tells you anything.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
No, you were not wrong in telling her not to have false hopes. 2 months without communication means he is really no longer that interested. You cited her ways on how he could possibly get through you but he never did.
A man who loves a woman will do anything under any circumstances. She just needs to move on and no longer think of that person. Much better if she would just use her time in doing the most important things that she needs to attend to.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
13 Mar 13
this one calls for best and quick friends and even in fb there are people who are so nice and calm,always in need and must share it to all
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 Mar 13
First, I am glad for you that you have your friend back. I don't think you did anything wrong by telling her to move on, I would have done the same thing. Obviously he wants nothing to do with her, if he did he would make it happen one way or another.
Second, some people have to just see it for themselves and learn for themselves. They can be told the same thing over and over again and never listen but then see for themselves it was true and finally learn...Weird how some people work.
I hope your friend does not do this every time you offer her advice on something though, that would be a tough friendship to keep!
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 13
Let her take time to be alone for some time. She nee time to think and realize if the guy really worth her time or not. Sometimes you have to let her make the decission and don't bother if she refuse you. When she find that she is wrong, she will come and say that you are true about him and her.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Mar 13
My dear - it is quite obvious that he is married and just using his brother as an excuse. Your friend is not yet ready to accept this so keep quiet and do not talk to her about him again unless she brings him up in talking.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
13 Mar 13
It is disturbing that this person is using his brother as an excuse not to continue to contact her. I mean how old is he anyway? 5?
Okay about your friend. I don't think you are wrong in what you said. You said you are close as sisters and family looks out for each other. Maybe you are the voice of reason from hearing about his odd behavior. I mean did he just contact her because he was on a business trip and didn't want to be bored in Colorado?
When a person is in a box they can't see everything going on around them. You've raised some red flags here that she really needs to look at. Beings how you are so close that is exactly who she needed to hear it from.
She might have gotten mad and deleted you off FB and stopped calling but in the end she will miss you as a person. I don't think you should apologize because of what you said.
Sometimes the people closest to us need to be that cold bucket of water to make us wake up.
