If you don’t experience it, then you know nothing about it…

@sishy7 (27169)
Australia
March 14, 2013 1:09am CST
A friend just told me something that prompted this topic. She’s having marital problems and she has been confiding to a mutual friend of ours. She sees some valuable advices from the friend to face her problems but she has doubts about his ‘qualifications’ to give out advices on marriage since he himself has never been married. According to her, how would he know anything about marriage if he has never experienced it? Do you think she has a valid reason to doubt our friend’s ‘qualification’ on the subject that he has no first hand experience with?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
21 Mar 13
No best teacher in this world but experiences and God. Some people expresses an opinion out from the books that they have read , or from things seen . It is more of theory then . It is so different when the one involved is the one who talks , her talks is full of validity , sincerity and heart. Words are so different when they came from heart.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
22 Mar 13
The mutual friend is actually a very upright and religious person. Many people with problems seek advice from him including my friend with her marital problems. She actually see some wisdom in his advices, but she also has doubts because he has never been married himself.
@wdwgirl (23)
• United States
15 Mar 13
I feel she is being a bit harsh. Just because someone hasn't experienced the same exact situation doesn't mean that they don't have experience by means of a similar situation. He still may have relationship advice due to past relationships he was in, and may have something worth listening to. Sometimes the ones on the sidelines that see the whole game have some pretty good things to say :)
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@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
15 Mar 13
Exactly! The thought of him being 'not qualified' did not even enter my mind until she brought it up to me... She thinks his advices are just too 'idealistic' since he does not possess realistic feelings associated with having a spouse.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
14 Mar 13
Hey dear sishy No worries. The friends are for such purposes - when we are in doubt, it is they whom we look up to first (okay many a times after our immediate family - but here, the immediate family is the problem). Going by the lady - she should have considered this before sharing her problems with this unmarried friend. But again, it is human instinct and one cannot disagree with it. ps: if she needs some good advice from many of those who have got married, MyLot should be the better place
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
14 Mar 13
Hi there I agree and I can see she'd probably find advices she needs here... I can't fully agree with her though. I have so much respect for our mutual friend from whom she gets some good advices from. Unlike her, I do not doubt him just because he is not married because I can see his wisdom from the life experiences that he has been through. To me, it is possible that he understands about marriage even without being married himself. I've been married for many years, and I still learn a thing or two from that unmarried friend about marriage and relationships.