Selfish behavior

Romania
March 14, 2013 1:21pm CST
Sometimes we have to deal with a selfish behavior in our relationships. Personally, i'm a generous person and i get hurt when i have to deal with a selfih partner, i really can't understand how far this behavior can go. How do you behave when your partner is selfish?
1 person likes this
10 responses
• United States
14 Mar 13
The most important question you have to ask yourself, is what is my need in attracting a "selfish" partner into my life?
2 people like this
• Romania
16 Mar 13
You're right, i don't want a selfih partner but sometimes he doesn't show that he's selfish until the relationship reached a point and then you already love him and it's hard to broke up just because of this. What do you think? Thank you for joining discussion JRJohnson :)
• United States
17 Mar 13
You have to ask yourself if it's really important to you to have a relationship in which you are valued and respected. It's not a healthy way to lead a life with a long term partner if he continues behaving selfishly.
• United States
14 Mar 13
I have only had 1 encounter with a selfish boyfriend, but you know what I didn't have to set him straight about the way that he was. My "big brother" who is a legendary wrestler, paid him a visit after I told him what was going on at the gym the night before. He stopped being selfish at that point, because he surely wouldn't have changed if I said anything. Most of the time men will respond to being sat down and you pooring out your emotion to them. But if he isn't one of those guys you might have to go a little higher on the food chain than yourself; get in good with his mother and if he is any kind of man he will surely listen if his mother sits him down and talks to him about being selfish with you.
2 people like this
• Romania
16 Mar 13
Hi, it's great you have someone who can take care of you, a big brother :P I was thinking to speak with his mother but i think he'll be angry if i'll do this.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
I feel bad about it. But instead of starting a fight over it, I try to understand his reason behind it. It is hard to deal with it really, especially if it involves the family. I just try to avoid arguments.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
It would be really impossible to understand such person coz we would absolutely have conflict with our views. Instead of wasting our time and energy with such people, might as well turn our backs and walk away.
• Romania
16 Mar 13
Hi Jenny, i also do this, i'm not fighting with him because i'm a peaceful person and i try to understand his reasons but sometimes it's very hard to read him.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
16 Mar 13
In my opinion, we should choose our partner really carefully. This is because if you choose the wrong person to be with you, you may just find yourself yearning to be free and single again due to certain negative personalities that you might not be able to stand. I have to admit that we are generally selfish to a certain degree. But if a person's selfishness bridges the level that we can accept, it will really hurts the relationship a lot. So think wise and do something about it.
• Romania
19 Mar 13
You have right squallming, i care about him, but selfishness is one of his defects and i also have others.I try to accept it like he accepts mine but sometimes it's really annoying.
@GajaGamini (1065)
• India
16 Mar 13
I would suggest you to, try to understand the situation and then think whatever you are thinking is right or wrong? Be sure you are missunderstanding him? because most of the fights and arguments happen just because of missunderstanding. Put yourself in his shoes and try to understand. If you still think he is selfish them communicate with him and make him understand. Get help of friends or family members.
1 person likes this
• Romania
19 Mar 13
Hi GajaGamini, believe me that i always try to understand and put in his shoes before i speak.I'm other personality and i can't be selfish like he is sometimes.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
Yeah, you are right. I remember, one time, when I and my boyfriend had an argument and fighting, he told me I was a selfish one just because I did not do what he want. And I was hurt for it. And so, as a reply I told him what was I all did for him for him to reveal that I am a selfish and he realized he was so stupid to tell that to me.
1 person likes this
• Romania
16 Mar 13
Hi kokomo, so you just wanted to find a way and let him know that you're sometimes selfish :) it's ok to tell this to your boyfriend so that he won't get hurt later and he won't hurt either.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
19 Mar 13
That is easy, dump him as quick as you possibly can and get away from him as far as possible. His selfish behavior will go very far, nothing you can do to reverse the course.
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
15 Mar 13
You need to be generous and you did right.We need to talk about when facing problems we met.Thus things can be settled well i think.I can't tolerate and thus it become complicated.So communicating would really be a good way for me.
1 person likes this
• Romania
16 Mar 13
My parents always taught me to be generous, i grew like this and i can't be selfish with the one i love, it's hard to understand this but i can't tolerate it , that's for sure. I hope i'll find a way to make him more generous. Thanks Jricky1!
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
14 Mar 13
Yeah I agree with you. I feel that my husband's selfishness is leading me to strongly consider separation/divorce. It gets old when a person continues to be selfish for years and doesn't make any changes. It's like with him he knows I will do everything so he doesn't try to help out at all or give me a break. And unfortunately the only way for him to really appreciate me is to live without me.
1 person likes this
• Romania
16 Mar 13
Hi Dominique25, yes i think it's hard for you to handle this for many years, i faced it just few times and i don'tlike it at all.I hope your husband will understand you before it's too late.
• India
16 Mar 13
In my views if you have clear communication then there is no such chance of selfishness
• Romania
19 Mar 13
Yes, i agree but it sometimes it's hard to speak when it comes about defects :P Not everyone admit that have defects an are open to discuss about them.