What is the best way to handle people who are rude?

Canada
March 15, 2013 10:40am CST
How do handle people who have been rude to you? I am just about at my wits end with a person who is always rude to me. It seems the more I try to be nice and oh I am so tired of hearing "oh just let it go" I love people who say this its like put the shoe on the other foot see how you would like it. I just do not talk anymore to this person I have completely shut them out. Do you think this is the right way to handle this? This has been going on for six years, I try to forgive and as soon as I let them back in my life they hurt me even more each time. What do you suggest, has this happened to you?
2 people like this
24 responses
• South Korea
15 Mar 13
as you said your already been with them for six years, I guess they are your friends, sometimes they can get rude, or even ridiculous but I guess thats better than having boring friends..ahaha anyway if they are not your friends, try to stay away but if you cant, like what they have said, just tell them that you think they are rude, dont worry if you might hurt their feelings, because I am sure they are not worried hurting others feelings too, thats why they are called "rude" I think the best way is to treat them like how they treat you
1 person likes this
• South Korea
15 Mar 13
oh she is your sister.. hhmmmm well shes actually your family, for sure she will always find a way to be rude to you that might hurt your feelings, but trust me shes still your sister, and sometimes thats what they do...ahaha my sister is like that too... but I dont really give a shyt cause I dont like wasting my energy for nothing.. ..
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Hi princess I am just curious I know all about sisters however we use to be close at one time but I have to say she is just getting worse (she doesn't even try) Is your sister older or younger? Mine is younger and she is the "baby" of the family I now can say as she is an adult she acts like a spoiled brat.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Hi princess, I never thought of it that way people who are rude just do not care and that is exactly the way this person acts. Thanks for dropping by
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@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
15 Mar 13
i say the advice you have gotten in the past is a bitter pill to accept, but it's correct. you should just let it and them go. what's the purposed of even trying to get respect from someone who won't automatically give it you, because you deserve it just like them?
1 person likes this
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
15 Mar 13
no problem, babe. in 2013 aim for no more drama in your life. be like mary j. blige. lol
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• Canada
15 Mar 13
Thanks Moon I sure will try to be like Mary lol
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Oh Moon gypsy I do like that, when I say people tell me oh just let it go I always thought it meant just pretend it never happened but the way you are explaining it is to let what they say and themselves go this makes more sense. Thanks so much for the good advice .
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Mar 13
hi LaurenLynn when the person just will not change then its time tol decide you just do not want anymore to do with this person,.Once you gave him or her a chance and they became just as mean and as l not need that pain. sometimes a person is rude and is just out of sorts and when you realize that you an cut them some slack b ut someone who is just out and out rude all the time its just not worth the hassle/em].
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
16 Mar 13
I also agree with Hatley is that we should try not to show our emotions or tears in front of that people and most probably when we show we are in tears most probably they might enjoy it and most probably will be rude again and might hurt again with words. I think it is good to show coolness in such situation even if we are not feeling that way.
• Canada
16 Mar 13
Thanks Hatley I really agree with you if we give people a chance that is one thing but when they keep being mean it is time to stop when they are so rude which this person sure has been,(she has brought me to tears many times) I know you right it is time to just let her go. I must say it has been 5 month's and my life is happier thanks for the good advice Hatley.
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
15 Mar 13
Some people just enjoy being a burr in other people's back side. This has been going on for six years so there isn't really anything you can do about it other than ignore the person and stop trying with them. There is one waitress at this great cafe that is like that. I thought it was personal only towards me but then watched her and she's just like that with everyone. How knows why she chooses a job like that being in the public eye because she certainly doesn't have the personality for it. I don't try to make nice with her. I'm a customer there and she is there doing a job. If she's rude, well then no tip for you! Sometimes we just need to chalk it up that she's a misseriable person who just wants to go through life being misseriable.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 13
It's a hard placement because we think it's US opposed to them, but have learned not to second guess myself. To each their own. Honestly if they are doing it to annoy you...then when you let it roll off you really annoys them so it's really a win/win when you think about it.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Thanks kprofgames, I am starting to realize this she is just that way and may never change. Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Yes, it has happened to me too. Tell them they are rude and why. Two possible outcomes. 1) they say sorry or 2) they continue to be rude. If it is one let it go but it may happen again, repeat. If it is two, ignore them for they do not wish to change Other things you can do is fight back to let them know this is not acceptable but that approach can backfire.
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• Canada
15 Mar 13
Wow Bluedoll I really like your answers because they do continue all the time so it is #2 for me and that is why I have shut them out. I have let this person have it as well on the phone (our last conversation) but this person knows how to push my buttons that is why I finally had to say enough! Thanks
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@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
15 Mar 13
For me it happened with an x. Since this one is from my early youth I thought it was a good thing because we don't have a lot of really old friends. I realized, I had blamed myself over the years for it not working because I really did love this person however now I understand it just wasn't meant to be. Rudeness is unacceptable and it can be very hurtful. It is better that I retain the good memories but not associate even after all this time because it is not a positive part to my life and certainly not a good friend. The one good thing that came out of it is that I stopped blaming myself. I don't know if my story helps you or not with what you are dealing with, except it might say there are other people who feel your pain, Lauren Lynn.
1 person likes this
15 Mar 13
Ignore them,this person must be a very unhappy creature who spends his short life hating,criticizing,arguing and being rude to others.In the end people harm only themselves.Doing bad destroys soul and even the body because anger produces toxic chemicals that can lead to serious diseases.Your weapons are:laughter,forgiveness,smile,love.
15 Mar 13
It's jealousy.I know it's hard because it's someone so close to you.I had an aunt who was jealous for some reason, you know, for her sake, I confronted her directly and told her how wrong was what she was doing.I was strict.I don't know the character of your sister, but maybe you will have to be strict with her too.Good luck.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Yes I think you are so correct that it is jealousy, I have never given her any reason to be jealous oh I have confronted her with many things but for some reason if I actually said the words jealous to her I am afraid it would be like opening "Pandora's Box". You are right too a person has to be strict we cannot be a doormat for everyone. Thanks again ladysilver
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Thanks ladysilver, that is great advise and I have been told by others that love me, that this person is very jealous of me and must be unhappy with her life. I have tried the weapons that you have advised but anytime I have shown how happy I am this person seems to despise me all the more. I feel okay to let you know it is my sister I am talking about (that is why this is a difficult situation) Thank you so much for responding.
1 person likes this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
15 Mar 13
I have experience with colleagues and bosses who are rude and critizising, it made me feel bad not being to voice out my problem. However, if you need to talk it out, to lessen the pressure welcome mylot here to do it. After all we aonly live once in a lifetime and should be happy in everything almost.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Thank you Wongchoiyee This really is my first time venting on mylot I must say it feels good! Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Mar 13
Honestly, I either kill them with so much kindness that it gets on their nerves or I completely ignore someone who is rude to me. By kindness I mean the fake kind of being nice where it is SO put on that they can tell you really want to slap them in the face if you could Lol! Or like I said just ignore them completely. The silent treatment usually gives them the message as well.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Oh that is too funny, you are right by the silent treatment this does work. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@ecaron (678)
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Hi, Laurenlynn It must be very hard for you because it is someone in your family , your sister who is rude to you, I mean how do you not associate with your own family. I wish that I were closer to my family , I have only one brother and we were never very close. Nowadays, I am quite close with my grand daughter who is growing up too fast she's already 14 and has a boyfriend and many other friends so I try to spend time with her before she has not much time for me anymore. Life is short, its a pity that your sister couldn't be happy just to love and be kind to you. You would both be happier for it.
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Thanks for the kind words ecaron, I agree with you life is short and I like many others, enjoy the peace you get when you get along with others sometimes it is just not possible or it is a test. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@suni51 (3429)
• India
16 Mar 13
Hi- I think there is no way but to avoid habitual rude people because these people do not listen to reasons, generally stressed, have too little reasoning and tend to behave as if 'know all' I think those people are stubborn and frustrated. Stay away from such people is best strategy. Cheers.
• Canada
18 Mar 13
Hi Suni, Wow well said this person Is always rude and it really does not seem to bother her at all. Thanks for the great advice.
@roshigo58 (4859)
• Pune, India
15 Mar 13
Hi, Your way of handling rude people is right. There are many people who are rude to us. They can not speak politely or softly. They are always arrogant. I hate such people. we have to neglect the behavior of such people. Otherwise it would become headache to us. We should avoid such people as far as possible. And we have to keep our mind cool while dealing with such people.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
Hi roshigo Oh you are so right about keeping cool, this sister of mine has even bragged to my cousin and laughed about it (she knows how to push my buttons) My cousin was not impressed. I think it is hard for me to think that any sister could be so mean but I am slowly starting to accept this. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• India
16 Mar 13
Yes, it happens to me many times. I do also behave politely with them as I think maybe they will understand their rude behave and they will be shy with it. but I think sometimes there are people who really do not understand the meaning of shy, and we should behave in the same way or worse than what they behave with us, then they will sit in their place.
• Canada
18 Mar 13
Hi Extremefun I don't think all people understand how rude they can be or are so it is better to rise above. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
15 Mar 13
Well, I am the same way as you are. I just don't talk to them. Last year I deal with something like this and all I do is nothing. Whenever I see her, just nothing. And I hear her saying something behind my back and stuff like that but I still didn't do anything and didn't say anything. I am just that kind of person I guess. Why? Because I believe in karma. ^_^ One day they will feel the same way what they have done to us or to other people. :)
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Mar 13
HI Blue you sound just like my cousin (her and I are very close) and she always tells me Karma will one day bite her in the u know what. I do believe this but I still feel sad that people have to be this way. I have bent over backwards for this gal only to find she kicks me every time that is why I just stay away. Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
16 Mar 13
this happens to everybody almost all the time. we do not have control about the behavior of the people around us so just shrug your shoulders and think... "well, i guess no one taught this person good manners".
• Canada
18 Mar 13
Hi dagami How true I think people either have good manners or they don't, it always is better to be nice, thanks for your response.
@anandjee (282)
• India
16 Mar 13
just leave these people , no time , change other people dear, we change our self only dear
• Canada
16 Mar 13
Hi Anandjee How true this is, it really makes sense to me that only people can change we cannot change them nor do we have the time. Thanks for the great advice.
@jay1988 (87)
• India
16 Mar 13
I would just say that I don't know about other people but I would just ignore the person if he is being rude to me or by being rude to them could also work.
• Canada
16 Mar 13
Hi Jay It seems to be the number one answer is to "ignore" so I am grateful to hear that I am doing the right thing thanks for the great response.
@madu52 (78)
• Thailand
16 Mar 13
we have any way for handle to our way.you mus learn what kind of people it.then you study him ell. after that you can do this work.
• Canada
18 Mar 13
Hi Madu It is good to study people that is how we learn. Thanks for sharing.
@patnopy (721)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
as i always said that i am like a mirror who ever view it see their image which i mean if you are nice i would be nice and if you are rude i will be rude, sounds fair, right?
• Canada
18 Mar 13
Hi Patnopy Yes it is one way to handle things however I don't like to be rude however as I am human I do not like to be pushed either thanks for the response.
@sidejob (14)
• Indonesia
16 Mar 13
there are so many ways to handle rude people, but i think the first and the best option is ignore them, that is the first option and then if that doesn't work ask to the person directly, tell him/her you don't like their attitude, and the last and the worst one is violence haha :D, but i prefer to ignore and try not to be near or talk with that kind of people for a while
• Canada
16 Mar 13
Hi Sidejob Most of the responses have been to ignore and everyone has been so helpful on this topic. Thanks for your response.
@ayeeesha (1127)
• Philippines
16 Mar 13
The best way to do is to ignore them completely. There's no point in confronting them because it may not even solve anything. Rather, they might even continue to be rude. And for sure, karma has its own way of getting back at them.
• Canada
16 Mar 13
Hi Ayeeesha, You are right there is no point in confronting people like this it only makes matters worse. Thanks for responding.