when your husband's income is lower than you

@Mintlin (323)
China
March 18, 2013 10:19pm CST
hello there. how do you see if a man's income is lower than you ? my husband's pay is not high,each month,i have to take a big part of my money to keep our family running. I dare not buy expensive clothes and comestic i like.some times i just wondering why my life is like this? I have a high pay job,i'm not a beauty but at least my look is not bad. my husband treats me pretty well,but sometimes i just can not satify his earning. he has been looking for new job for half of year but no any better chance there. how do you feel if your spouse earn lower than you ?
2 people like this
18 responses
@ARIES1973 (10720)
• Legaspi, Philippines
19 Mar 13
My husband retired from his job already and I have to shoulder all the expenses and until now he was not able to receive his retirement benefits yet. Even before he retired, my income is much higher than his income but it's okay with. What is important is that he is doing his best in order to help me with the household chores.
2 people like this
• South Korea
19 Mar 13
I also make a little more than my husband, and im totally find with it,maybe for now because we dont have a baby yet, we do have a plan every month, and as long as we are following that and as long as we regulary put on our daily savings, for now I dont really have a problem. I can always here him saying sorry because he doesnt find that much money, but I dont really mind it, besides thats why we are couple, to fill each others need, and having the same goal is all that matters to me.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
is more better to have plan so i agree with you princess8881. saving and planning is a matter of both people.
@tehpau (340)
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
I am OK with my husband earning less than me as long as we are sharing the household. I will be angry if he does not chip in more in other ways. He can contribute more on things like helping around the home. I cannot accept a man who earns less and is lazy at the same time.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
hahaha that i as a man will be mad too, but somehow i do like to help my wife in the house too if she ok
@cherigucchi (9616)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
It depends on how you settle or agree on your finances. If you have known that this is going to be an issue when you get married, you should have chosen someone who earn more than you. There is so much to talk about when you are already married and you have to come up with a certain kind of agreement. If my husband's income is lower than me, I would not mind sharing more because it is our family and money matters should not come in between. Every thing can be talked about and settled.
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
yeah agree with you, this is sensitive issue at it involve man pride and woman pride too. both have to sit down and talk
@ShyBear88 (42101)
• United States
19 Mar 13
It doesn't bother me. There has been times where my husband was working at all on mymonlimework was all I had it didn't bother me. Yes it was hard and it sucked but I didn't make a big deal about me being the top dog. Yes still my husband job sucks but its a job and it pays that all that matters.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
that is kind of future wife i would like, she does not bother whether your income is more than he.
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
20 Mar 13
As long as your husband is doing his best to find a good paying job, well then it doesn't bother. And its good that he treats you well. I've known some that their husband has no job and these guys are treating their wives like dogs. But believe me your husband doesn't feel like a man, and he feels bad when he cannot provide the things his family needs. Some end up leaving the his family because he cannot give a secure life to his family. XX
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2585)
• India
20 Mar 13
It is the life my friend and when we get married, has the family then we have to adjust it. My husband income is of course more and even then we have set between us who should spend on certain things. Like loans amount he is paying and other household items we both share the expenses. I am saving large amount of my earning.
1 person likes this
• India
20 Mar 13
As long as a husband and a wife love and respect each other, high or low income would not matter to them. But once the wife starts dominating her husband on grounds of her higher pay or the husband starts fighting or cropping up issues out of inferiority complex, then the situation can get worse. It is good that your husband behaves well with you. This shows he does not have any problem with you earning more than him. Also, he is constantly hunting for a better job. Once he will have a better job and your total income will multiply, you will be able to spend money on expensive clothes and cosmetics.
@Raine38 (11342)
• United States
19 Mar 13
As long as we don't go hungry and the bills get paid on time and I can see his efforts to have a better paying job, then I will be fine. There are times that we cannot avoid that we will be the one earning more but there's nothing we can do but work together and support one another. That afterall is what marriage is about, it's a partnership, not a competition.
1 person likes this
@lacieice (2064)
• United States
19 Mar 13
I don't think it matters who earns more. You are a couple. You apparently have 'his and her money'. My husband and I never did that. All money went into one accoult and was used as needed. I believe that is the way it should be.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15634)
• Puerto Rico
19 Mar 13
It does not bother me because if I'm making ends meet that is all that matters. I worked for 32 years making more then my hubby and I didn't minded it at all. Now at 56 I have been retired for the past five years and he is the one supporting me. So it all worked out in the end. One hand washes the other and life goes on. I sometimes feel guilty that he is now supporting me but he always says "you did most of it back in the day now its your turn to relax and let me do this for you its the least I can do." What a great guy and I'm very fortunate because I thought I would be working till I was 62 or 65. When you have a plan God has a bigger plan for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 13
Well, I had a job way back and got a high pay of that. And his pay is like only half of my paycheck every week. It doesnt bother me at all because His money is my money, and my money is his money. We SHARE. We dont count what we earned this month or this week or something like that. And if he wants to buy something that I know that he really likes, I let him buy it. Same as me. As long as we dont spend all of our money and that we still have savings in our bank, were all good.
@dagami (1162)
• Rome, Italy
19 Mar 13
hi mintlin. remeber the marriage vows? in sickness and in health, etc... etc.. your husband earning less than you shouldn't be a problem if you truly value him. life is full of ups and downs. maybe time will come that he'll be able to find a higher paying job. what is important that your family income can cover your expenses.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
i don't see an issue there. maybe you are wondering because we are raised in a society where we are made to expect that a man must always be the authority in the family and that he must have what's needed so he can provide for his family. as long as he is providing for your family based on your agreed finances then I think everything will turn out good.
1 person likes this
@judelen (428)
• Philippines
19 Mar 13
Hello! I think this is not the problem as long as you agree each other. Sometimes we get pity to ourselves that a typical wife should be fully supported by a husband, sometimes we get jealous to our friend when they share that their husband support their needs and wants in life. I myself is different, my husband recieves big salary than me, but the results he will only give 50% of his income to me as share to the households. Before it's okey for me because we haven't big expenses then but 2 years ago i give-up. What I did is that I share the same amount he gave then he will do the rest. I was so frank to him that because it's time for me to do this since i could not afford anymore. So, what happened now is that i can buy my wants in life because i shared the same amount that he shared before. So for me it defends on you to handle such situation, anyway at the end of the day family is our priority in life no matter what.
• United States
19 Mar 13
My husband has a foot condition that prevents him from working. He collects social security and that is the only income we live on. I am hoping that I can start my online business so I can help generate more money into our household. I think if I was making more money than randy it would not bother him. At least your husband has a job many people sadly are out of work.
1 person likes this
@justyou (68)
• China
19 Mar 13
So,maybe i should find a girlfriend that earn less than me,haha! But i think you husband must can find a good job soon...
• Malaysia
19 Mar 13
girl now have more power and do learn until university and they have a smart mind too compare to man who just let emotion control they arrogant and that is suck. girl now earn more than man, for somehow i feel just ok.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Mar 13
well, I think there is no problem if man earns less than his wife, you can make him more success with your nice appreciate and positive words which energize him for better work and better try.