So Tired of being Taken Advantage of.
By Hugsy25
@Hugsy25 (274)
Canada
March 31, 2013 6:36am CST
So I've just about had it. I've been driving my mother in law around because she is 80 years old and not comfortable driving in the winter. In my opinion she should be driving at all, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do about that. But anyways she's given me her car to drive her around during the winter which I don't mind but she also seems to think I should be paying for all the gas. It costs me $10 in gas everyday that she wants to come into town and she wants to come in everyday. I can't do anything for myself because she thinks she should be in town visiting everyday so I can't make plans to do anything.
She doesn't believe me that it cost so much every time she comes in she claims $20 lasted her a week. She doesn't seem to understand the concept of the trip now being doubled because I have to go out and get her then come back into town and then take her home and then come back home again.
So I don't want to put another dime in that gas tank it's making me sick. I've put $130 in gas this month of my own money and she has put in $20 and that was after asking her for it and she had a hissy fit and threw it at me.
She's also the type of woman who no matter how I approach this she's just going to turn everything around and make me feel like crap.
I am tired of being treated like dirt just because I'm trying to be nice.
2 people like this
8 responses
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
31 Mar 13
Hi Hugsy,
I hate to say this but this one is on you. You are allowing her to treat you this way. Gas is very cosly. Right now 20.00 puts about 5 gals. in your tank. it doesn't go far. Beyond the gas, your time is important. I would just tell her that you have other things o be doing. Also consider the maintanece on the vehicle. If smething mehanical were to happen would she expect you to pay? I think I'd just give her the car back. It comes at a price I know I wouldn't afford.
@Hugsy25 (274)
• Canada
31 Mar 13
I think you are right, she will be getting the car back. Last year when we had the car it was dirty because of the salt on the roads and it was too cold to go wash it. Well she went out for a smoke and wiped dirt off one tiny spot on the back and started going on about a scratch and asking how I scratched her car. Well honestly I think she scratched it and tried to blame me for it, since she decided to wipe the dirt off the one spot that had a scratch. Ugh. Yup think the car will go back today or tomorrow, I'm so over it.
@taiwanlife (745)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
Maybe she is starting to become senile. Now that she is really getting your way then talk to your husband about it or to other members of the family to help you out in dealing with this problem.
@Hugsy25 (274)
• Canada
31 Mar 13
the problem is there we don't really talk to the rest of her family any more because of a fight between them and my husband that she started, though she would deny it I remember exactly how that fight started.
My husband response to how I feel is to tell her where to shove the car lol he's no happy with the fact that I've been crying over this and she basically did the same thing last year, this is what I get for being nice though I guess. I am thinking about either giving her the car back since the weather is going to start getting nicer soon, or sitting her down and telling her she has to start giving me $20 a week for gas, since I've been putting at least $40 a week in sometimes more. When I do talk to her it will be here in front of Darrell so she doesn't try her getting mad at me trick again. :(
@taiwanlife (745)
• Philippines
31 Mar 13
Lol! Do this then. They are quite stubborn this oldies. It makes me laugh somehow, so go ahead. Talk to her and if she does not agree on it then just return her the car. They also have to learn. They are like a child but the thing is they are not and they are really sensitive. You were really sweet driving her this winter. We all grow old someday and would end up like any of them.:)
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
Don't let yourself be taken advantage of. Even if she is your mother-in-law you have every right to say No to her.
If such is my mother-in-law i wouldn't have the qualm to tell her to drive her car herself.
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
1 Apr 13
it is good to know that you're still have time to taking care of your mother in law at her age 80, we know that at the age of like this our old parents need much attention and we should take care of them as they are only few years left in this world. if you are tired of this try to talk to your husband and tell to him about your feelings or get her personal driver to do this chores for her, instead of paying a lot every month. let your patience be long to understand our old parents. 
@honor00 (185)
•
31 Mar 13
My dad was refused a car licence because he couldn't see well enough to drive. He was totally reliant on family and friends to drive him places, he'd fill the petrol tank sometimes. It's a weird thing to say, I drive too, although I'm mostly a passenge, yes a sexist thing. It's easy to just not think about fuel, tax, maintainence when you're mostly a passenger. You're resentful, she likely hates not driving herself. Here we have a voluntary organisation that charges for car journies so volunteers claim car costs from the oganisation not the passenger. Is there something similar in your country? That might solve the issue.
@Hugsy25 (274)
• Canada
31 Mar 13
I wish they would retest at a certain age here because I really don't think she should be driving, but to tell her so she would only get mad and it's not worth listening to her. I will have to check into whether or not they have anything like that service here. She keeps saying she is giving me her car when she is done driving, but after the last 3 months I'm pretty much planning on telling her I don't want it. It would be so much easier if she would move into town and driving her around didn't take so much time and gas. But she lives about 10 minutes outside of town and it's too much. I've had the car since just after Christmas and haven't even had the time to go and visit m own father because I have to sit around and see if she "feels" like coming into town and then I have to drop her off at her daughters and wait until she is ready to come here and visit. I'm done! My mind is made up. LOL
@lelin1123 (15594)
• Puerto Rico
31 Mar 13
OMG 130 dollars a month that is crazy. When reading this at first I thought it was your mother. Now that I reread it I see that its your mother-in-law. Is there no one else that can take the load off you. Sorry but you are way to nice. There is no way I would be doing that everyday and spending all that money. You have to put your foot down and say I can only take you into town once a week. Be happy with that or find someone else. If she wants another day or two then she pays it. Sorry but she is taking full advantage of you and you have to learn to say "NO" or this will go on till the day she passes away. Can you afford all that money and your precious time. You have a life to live too. I could never see myself doing that to anyone no matter how old I was.
Just tell her listen I can't do this anymore because I have a life to live. I'm willing to take you into town once a week. If you are not happy with that then you need to find someone else to take you. Period end of discussion. Stop letting her walk all over you because she is 80 years old.
Just tell her listen I can't do this anymore because I have a life to live. I'm willing to take you into town once a week. If you are not happy with that then you need to find someone else to take you. Period end of discussion. Stop letting her walk all over you because she is 80 years old. 
@natliegleb (5173)
• India
31 Mar 13
It is quite annoying and always taking care of petty things like gas and they take us for some big ride and we feel bad and petrified at the end of the day
