Separation and the volunteered baby sitter!

hi, bounce. you're a nice person. it can be read between the lines of your post. do you have kids too? if you do and they enjoy the company of this neighbor of yours, then there's no harm. how old is this boy? i mean, can he do most things (go to bathroom, eating, etc.) by himself? if he can't, then his presence would upset your routine. you already agreed to the request of his father, this is very generous of you. how else can you help? aside from making that boy feel welcome in your home, i can't think of anything else.

Heya bounce! Even though in your comments above you mentioned you didn't consider yourself a nice person, well, what you are doing is indeed "nice". If the kids get along well and you are ok with it, it's a wonderful thing you are doing for this neighbor kid. Though different, our next door boy keeps coming over to our house too. In his case, he must be bored out of his mind at his own house. The older brother could care less about him, and the parents don't seem to get involved in their kids' activities much (the parents barely come out at all). He has burned bridges with other neighborhood kids and the one his age just moved away. We never see other kids over and he is always at home. So he comes knocking at our door, sometimes daily, and quite frankly, I can't handle him coming over too often. I do have to turn him away - a lot - for many reasons (that's another discussion). And honestly, it seems like his parents might be glad to have him out of their hair - and then we are left feeling we're sort of a baby sitter for him. At one time, I wanted to do more for this kid too as I felt kind of bad for him (he comes here like an excited puppy dog with his tongue hanging out, not kidding). But I think it will create another can of worms - and others tell me the same. We can't "volunteer" more than we're doing now. I do have to say no at times to this kid (if you knew him you'd know what I mean). I should mention my daughter is 8, my son is 3 and this neighbor boy is almost 13. Anyway, if it doesn't bother you at all, then it's nice that your neighbor's kid has a "stable" place to go to for now - and that your kids get that bonding with a friend.

Unfortunately, things like this happen, and unfortunately are becoming too common. But fortunately in this child's case they have someone they can count in in you. This is going to be a hard time for him and he will need all the love and support he may not always get at home. Glad you can be there for them.

That sucks. Not much else you can do unfortunately.. best to keep your nose out of it in case they take your sympathy the wrong way and stop letting the kid come over.

I can say no to something like this. If it's their problem and I have something more important to do, I can refuse very easily. Plus, I don't wanna watch a kid. Watching over a kid is one of the most annoying tasks to do. If I'm forced to watch a kid, I might sleep on the kid, taking him for granted.

maybe they chose your family because you don't have a long commute, you also have sons, and they know you're good at juggling being a chauffeur, cook, help with homework, chores, etc. i don't understand why he's spending the whole day and even sleeping over if it's the dad whose being kicked out. is the mom that unstable? you ask how else you can help which means you empathize with them. maybe you can get clues from talking to the kid or from his conversations with your sons. you can also ask the dad indirectly if you don't know the mom much. just make sure it's something you really can do and speak up when you can't anymore. of course, if the situation were reversed, you'd love for others to volunteer, too, especially when you're not the type to ask for help or even share that you're having a tough time. i know i'm that way.

Are you good friends with them? This sounds like a terrible situation for you to be in and it's not helping to drag you into it. Obviously the kid is escaping from what's going on and the parents have to face what is going on and what is happening to the child. Pay them (or her) a visit and tell them you are not their babysitter and you don't like being put in this position. Tell them you are not comfortable with them using you this way. Seriously, it is wrong for them to shirk the needs of their child...do not enable them to do so my friend. Good luck.

you are doing quite enough. you are doing more than i would do. i wouldn't take that chance. it's too much of a liability. is there anyway you could tell him that you just don't have the time two watch him anymore? man! i would hate to be stuck in that position. just be careful not to get caught in the crossfire.

I think you are already helping them a lot by taking in the kid like he lives in your house. It is really tough to be in such a situation. They should be thankful that they have nice neighbors like you. I hope the couple will be able to find some suitable arrangement regarding the situation of the kid.