Thinking my best friend isn't a friend anymore

United States
April 9, 2013 11:26am CST
We don't talk. Like ever. I try to contact her and she ignores everything I say. My devices say when she receives my messages but i never get a response. Yet, she posts about conversations with other people. Last time we talked, she was having issues with her boyfriend and came to stay a night at my place to vent. She seems to only talk to me when he's not dating her (they've been on and off like crazy!) She happened to invite me to her baby shower, not in a direct contacting me sort of invite. She sent me an invite through facebook because she made an event page for it. I check "join" for obvious reasons. She's suppose to be my friend. I looked to see who's going. And there are a lot of people I know for a fact don't like me on the invite list. I'm having second thoughts about going because I know i won't be able to restrain being mean if someone is rude to me. It's not a day for me, it's for her. But also, I feel if she's contacting these people, whom she never mentioned she talked to before in our 10 years of being friends, maybe their why she's not talking to me. I think she just wants extra gifts for her baby and that's why she invited me. Not because she wants me there. I mean, she doesn't want me around anymore, clearly. Input?
6 people like this
13 responses
@danix1982 (593)
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
don't think that way, there are times in ourselves that we feel being ignored but it is not. let us accept the fact that people change and all we have will be change in the future. don't ignore her invites for her baby shower,just think that you are doing this for her baby and for your friendship.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 13
Thanks for the advice danix ! She ended up changing a date to a weekend I'll be on a trip, I decided to get a gift and I'll give it to her if she ever responds to me and we can pick a date to meet up
@blackrusty (3522)
• Mexico
9 Apr 13
this is why i hate face book but i wont even waste my time on this one for now i would send her a message and say point blank if you wish not to be my friend block and delete me and no hard feelings so that you can move on with your life
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr 13
I don't care much for facebook either. I have mine for only contacting select people. Messaging her is a good idea, its not like she answered the other ones. It is time to find a new friend, I suppose. Thank you for responding, btw :-)
1 person likes this
• Mexico
9 Apr 13
well what ever you think you should do is up to you and all we can do is talk about it but the bottom line is only you can decide on what you want to do have a great
2 people like this
@ajithlal (14616)
• India
10 Apr 13
I think using Facebook one can connect with old friends and find old school friends and college friends.
1 person likes this
@elmiko (6635)
• United States
10 Apr 13
i had that happen to a friend of mine way back. i still don't know why he just quit talking to me or coming around. still, i just respected his right to do so. its not a good feeling.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 13
No, its not a good feeling. I'm sorry you went through it.
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
Just ignore if they make you uncomfortable, why you do try different things to forget it and change your focus to other. Start to make friends with different people, To be not affected on what she is doing or insensitive about your feelings. Don't take it hard.
• United States
13 Apr 13
I'm sure she'll come around eventually. Until then, I should find more people to put myself around.
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
Well, people do come and go, if I were in your position, group invitation isn't that enough for me, some people will message you directly, or send you invitation themselves, facebook is one communication tool, but it is not always accurate, others will just invite you because you're friends with them online, and they will think that if they didn't include you then you will say something negative about them. I'm not giving bad vibes here. I, myself think that many people hate me, not totally hate but they don't really like me for their own reasons, and just talk to me or invite me because they just need to, or something alike. Maybe she just have something into you, try to talk to her,. There are many situation. One is, if ever you go to the event, try to talk to her with what is going on with you two. Or you can come to the party because you are a true friend. Or you can just ignore, she's doing it to you anyway. There are just so many reasons. =) I don't know if I have BEST friend. But I have friends. =)
• United States
13 Apr 13
You're right there are so many ways to look at this. I'm going to wait for her to set a get together separate from the shower since she moved the date to a day I can't attend so I can still give the gift.
@ajithlal (14616)
• India
10 Apr 13
I think most probably some friends can be good friends while some cannot. Sometimes our friends will get us confused in our life.
• United States
13 Apr 13
I agree, friends are confusing. Hopefully things work out. I miss her.
@srisahara (4516)
• Indonesia
10 Apr 13
Hi friend, be patient...I know there are many persons who want get the benefit from us but they never think about our feeling. I think you have choice to come or not. You can show that you also do what you want to do, because she also do it. I think it will remember her that some body else can do like her. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 13
I decided to still get a gift, but I'm not going. I'll wait for her to come around.
@KrauseHome (36683)
• United States
12 Apr 13
Sometimes over the yrs, people do change, and who you used to be friends with find New friends, even if they are not always the Best. I know I have seen my friends chance over the yrs and I do not let it bother me. Maybe it would be smart to not go, and just try to find yourself a New group of friends to want to do things with.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
I think I'd rather not go if I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a great time there. I wouldn't want to put myself in a situation where I won't be comfortable and other people would not be comfortable with me as well. Perhaps you could invite her over for coffee or something and then discuss things instead. It's awkward when you're not even sure she thought of you when she posted that invite in the first place. It's sad how things end up like that with some of our friends. People do change, there will be friends who are our friends by name and not in real anymore. Who could blame them or us? Things just happen. I'm just glad I'm still good friends with my friends way back when we were in the first grade! We don't talk often, we rarely hang out (we live in different cities and have different jobs and have our own families) but when we do have the chance to hang out, seems only yesterday. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
• United States
13 Apr 13
I'm glad you're still in contact with your friends even with how busy life is, thsts great :-) that's exactly how I feel, I don't want to be placed in such a position. She moved the date of the shower to a day I can't attend. When I told her so, she said we'll set something else up. I'm still waiting on her to contact me though. Things happen sometimes. Nothing lasts forever
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
9 Apr 13
I feel like you shouldn't go because, it sounds like to me, your so called friend dosn't want you there, and she invites all these people, who you don't like and believe me, you are going to have problems, with one of them, so it's best to stay away.
• United States
9 Apr 13
Thank you for your input :-) I agree I really don't want to go now. Things will just be more drama then I need
@ARIES1973 (9800)
• Legaspi, Philippines
11 Apr 13
You are having some negative feelings about her seriousness on her friendship with you. You are the only one who can say if you are still important to her or not. Personally, if my friend would be busy with other things, I would understand her. If I still want her to be my friend, I would be there to support her in any way. I would not be thinking much of what I can get but rather what I can give. That is what friendship is all about for me. Have nice day!
@khateya (264)
• Australia
11 Apr 13
True friends do not want to take granted from each other. It happens you should know what to do.
@toyota4k (1209)
• Philippines
10 Apr 13
Oh, let her go. You don't need a friend like that and goes to show that she isn't your best friend at al;l.