How could you leave your child?!

United States
April 15, 2013 2:57pm CST
Amber, who has a daughter with my ex boyfriend, moved to Louisiana with her boyfriend and their son (I made a previous discussion about this). They did NOT take her daughter with them! She left her with her mom (the daughter's grandma) and she won't say why. People have been commenting on her Facebook asking why the girl isn't with them and she deletes the comments. I don't understand why she took one child but not the other. There is no way I could move to another state (or even another town) and not take my daughter! People like this make me sick. She told Dustin (our ex) that she was going to let their daughter finish the school year but then she also says she has no idea when or if they're coming back to get her. Is she serious?! They packed up and moved down there without even knowing if her boyfriend was getting the new job. He had to apply for the job, get an interview, and now they're waiting on his drug test and background check. Why uproot yourself and everything else on a whim like that? Ugh. And she calls herself a mother!
1 person likes this
8 responses
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
15 Apr 13
Omg I can't even imgain moving and not taking both of my kids with me not even I someone told me to leve one or the other. That is just crazy and technically abandonment of her child. I don't think I could be friends with someone like that at all.
• United States
16 Apr 13
She is insane, that's for sure! I would never leave my child behind like that. She is definitely no friend of mine. Never has been. I also agree that it's abandonment but no one will do anything about it. She'll give her dumb excuses and use her religion to get out of trouble just like she did when I was calling the Division of Children and Family Services.
@ShyBear88 (59306)
• Sterling, Virginia
17 Apr 13
yeah she sounds insane. I had an exfriend that left his 3 boys and doesn't see or want him after taking care of them for so long. Religion don't get people out of trouble that just sounds like a really bad excuse indeed.
15 Apr 13
I wish people would stop making selfish decisions like this without even the smallest amount of consideration for their child. I would like to think that this is very much the minority in terms of parent's attitudes, but I live in the UK and we are blessed with such shows as the Jeremy Kyle show, so we get the worst of the worst televised right before our eyes. Saddens me :(
• United States
16 Apr 13
Some people will never change and you can't force them to care for their children or anyone else for that matter. We also have The Jeremy Kyle Show in the U.S. As well as Steve Wilkos, who also deals with bad parenting and poor judgement.
17 Apr 13
Yes i guess you cant change people...but it amazes me that it isn't something that is natural to care for your children. People in general confuse me mainly though!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
16 Apr 13
Thats messed up! I can't even imagine moving and not taking my children with me. I understand not wanting to move them so close to the end of the school year. I've moved around plenty myself. So she should have planned on moving during summer break so her daughter could adjust to the move and maybe make a friend or two prior to enrolling her in the new school. These people that have their parents raising their kids are selfish and immature and should never have kids to begin with. I guess I was lucky with my girls. I love being a gram and I get to babysit a lot but while I would do it if I had to, I really do not want to raise another child.
• United States
16 Apr 13
A lot of her family members are asking her why they decided to move so soon. One of her aunts even said "This must have been a very quick decision that wasn't thought out very well. I just saw you not even two weeks ago and you never even mentioned to me that you were moving. Kinda sad that I had to find out about it on Facebook". I also heard that Amber's mom told her that she will not watch their son overnight or for more than a few hours because she raised Lezlie and refuses to do it with their second child. So it just goes to show how little she cares for her children if they're always with the grandma. I'm with my daughter 24/7 unless my mom asks me if she can watch her. And maybe once a month I get to spend time with friends. Other than that, my daughter is always with me. So I can't imagine leaving her with someone else (not even a family member) so I could move on a wish and a prayer.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
15 Apr 13
All because of love. Your friend probably knows how unstable their life is so she cannot be taking too many children with them. I think at the moment when they are still trying to settle down in the new location, it is better to leave her daughter with her mother for she will be safer there than with them. I hope they will soon be able to settle down so they will be able to get the daughter.
@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
15 Apr 13
i agree with you. she also said that her daughter has to finish the school year. the fact that she said she's not sure when she's coming back doesn't mean that she doesn't want her daughter with her. she can ask her mom to accompany her daughter to their new place when school finishes and they are stable.
• United States
16 Apr 13
The child is in preschool. Preschool is not a requirement here so she could have taken her with them. They took her out of school for two weeks because they went to Maryland. And if that's the case, why delete comments from family members who want to know why she's not with them?
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
15 Apr 13
Well the fact that she just up and moved and left the child with someone is just bad. Now if she was married to your mutual ex and he had custody or even if they weren't married and he had physical/actual/shared custody and she needed to move for work for her new boyfriend or something then that happens and she couldn't be called a bad mother for that. However, since from your post, the above statement didn't happen. Then she needs to work something out or at least explain herself. Too many people are so willing to leave their kids behind for a new partner because the partner might not want their kid and it is sickening.
• United States
16 Apr 13
No, he has no custody what so ever. They have court ordered child support that he's supposed to pay and that's it. No visitation or anything. Her new boyfriend claims that he loves her daughter but the girl has told me before that he is mean to her, so I don't know. I just don't understand why they would take one child and not the other. Their son is 9 months old and her daughter is 5 years old. Surely it would be easier to drive that far with an older child than it would be with a baby. I have never understood her ways of thinking and I can't believe anything she says because I've caught her in so many lies.
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
I am a mother myself and I couldn't imagine living far from my son. Yes, I go to work and leave him at home (with my mom) for almost 10 hours but the longest that I have gone without going home and seeing my son was for 3 days and that is so difficult! She could have her own reason for doing so but still, on a personal note, I cant seem to understand why she would do that.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
15 Apr 13
kind of reminds me of a story with my ex. his mom left him in another state with her ex-boyfriends family. that kind of thing is going to really mess up that kid's mind. i know it did my ex.
• United States
15 Apr 13
I agree with you, this is not cool. When the little girl grows up she might feel like she wasn't good enough or she was a burden. The child may have a lot of anger and resentment toward her mother. In conclusion they have their priorities mixed up bandit focus on their daughter.