Horrible Tantrums

United States
April 16, 2013 2:03pm CST
My daughter just turned a year old on April 11th and she has been throwing HORRIBLE tantrums for about a month now. Her dad is bi-polar (take no medication for it) and he has told me in the past that his dad is skitzophrenic but I'm not sure if that's true. My daughter will scream, cry, kick, hit, and throw herself on the floor. She hits herself in the face and smacks her head on the walls, the floor, and the furniture. Her older half sister is 5 years old and she does the same things. I've told her mom about it and she just ignores me. Anyway, when she's throwing these fits she won't let me pick her up or talk to her. If I say anything to her, it gets even worse. She does understand some things I tell her but she is only a year old so I'm not sure exactly what she understands. The only ways I have been able to calm her down is by ignoring her until she stops or giving her a toy she hasn't played with in awhile. I just don't know if this is a mental issue that she's inherited from her dad's side of the family or if it's a behavioral issue. I've tried time out and it doesn't work at all. Also, I refuse to spank her so please don't suggest it.
4 people like this
14 responses
• United States
22 Jun 15
Hi! :) I'm like you.... not wanting to spank the little ones. What your child may have is Asperger's syndrome, which is a mild form of autism. My son acted a lot like that when he was a toddler, and when he got older, (about 6 or 7 years old), he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. If she doesn't like to be held and doesn't like to be touched, she may have it as well.... You might look up symptoms of it online & see if you think she has it..... You also might get a doctor's opinion. Asperger's patients are often very capable & intelligent ... Blessings... :)
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
19 Apr 13
Depending on where you live, many states and provinces have early intervention programs. They can help with behavioural issues, etc. It could be something else that is causing these tantrums, and they will be able to help you figure it out. One year is young to be having these tantrums, so I'd be concerned and looking for an underlying cause. Sometimes things that don't seem related can be the cause: my friend's son went to a speech therapist because his speech was delayed, and it turned out to be caused by sleep apnea. He unfortunately had to have surgery, but once the surgery was over, he caught up very quickly in speech.
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
17 Apr 13
That's what most babies do isn't it? My niece did this when she was a baby,it was not until she got a bit older that she was able to tell us that she had bad dreams,of Shrek! At first I thought it was crazy,but after a bit of thinking I realised,yeah I could see her being a bit freaky.
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
17 Apr 13
If you suspect that your child is bipolar do not waste time and take her to a doctor who understands being bipolar and who can help. She is very young and cannot articulate her condition and feelings. She needs someone to speak in her behalf. Do not get cross with her but exercise patience and wait for her to turn around. Being bipolar is very unpleasant and you want to get her the help she deserves. You are her advocates.
17 Apr 13
oh my such a young age and haven't heard such behavior and it really fears me for your daughter she must really see a doctor for treatment while she's young probably she inherit it from her father
@myadvice (52)
17 Apr 13
she is quite young. u can easily mould her.in fact u r on rt track. dont feel hopeless,helpless,anxious.be firm,at the same time kind.shower her with lot of love,hug her ,kiss her as many times as possible thruout the day. such children require lot of physical contact,love ,attention.also check on her diet. avoid sugar all the time.give her lots of fruits,salads fresh if possible.take her to garden where she will have lot of physical activity,fun ,friends,fresh air$ u will see her tantrums disappearing .put her to the habbit of asking something that she wants though she is too young for that. this u can try with the older child.let me know if u need any further help.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
16 Apr 13
One of my daughters was that exact same way. I remember when she was little and talking to the doctors about it. They told me to write down the times she was having these "fits". I did. She got tested for ADD, Bipolar etc. It was none of those. Her fits got worse as she got older. Teen years were horrible!! She is now 26 and very aware of the problem and does pretty well at keeping herself in check. Still she has her moments. She has seen other doctors and they all have ruled out Bi-polar etc. She has tried anxiety meds...they did nothing and if anything seemed to amplify the problem. I will tell you that her father had that same horrible temper. In a rage, he would lift up a refrigerator and toss it across the room. There were other symptoms...she had to have her shoes tied real tight, could not stand to wear jeans etc. I had 3 other daughters and none were like this at all. Like you, I never spanked her and time out was ineffective. I never found a good answer on how to deal with this...hope you do.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
16 Apr 13
When you go back for a checkup with her doctor I would definitely bring this up. Explain to him/her what you are going through and what you can do about it. I have three grandkids and I have never heard of them acting this way. My oldest who is 7 has had temper problems a bit when she was about 4 but not to the extent that your 1 year old is. She would just stomp her feet and go to her room and cry if she didn't get her way. However for your child to be hurting herself that is scary and should be looked into. I don't know if bi-polar can be inherited or not. I believe if you talk to the doctor and see what they say then you will have a better idea of where to go with this. You rather nip it in the bud before she gets older and it gets worse. Especially if its what her dad has. Good luck and God Bless!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
16 Apr 13
Your daughter is so young that I'd be apt to think that the behavioral issues that you are seeing with her don't have anything at all to do with a psychological issue so much as a developmental issue. You see all children do go through behavioral issues during that stage of their lives and the main reason for it is because of a communication gap. Your daughter doesn't want to be treated like a baby but she doesn't know how to express herself as an older person will do and she is expressing her frustrations by acting out in her life.
@allknowing (130418)
• India
17 Apr 13
It sure looks like a mental issue as, if she does it with no provocation of any kind it cannot be behavioral and certainly not at that tender age. Have you tried consulting a doctor about this? If it is a mental condition I am sure that can be contained with proper medication.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
17 Apr 13
Tantrum is bad seek help - Must seek help and not ignore these. Things may get bad. Early prevention and treatmnet is better than late.
Well it is obvious your need help for yourself and also for your children. Need profesional and also emotional support. I think things will get worse only with these tandrum. It is best your seek some support that is available in your community. Do not ignore these sysmptoms and try all your best to seek help in your community. Early treatment and prevention is better than late.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
17 Apr 13
Babies differs from each other , there are those who have less tantrums and there are those who have high tantrums. Maybe that little baby is just following the thing that she saw with big sibling or might be she is she needs something that it was not addressed immediately and the baby have no patience yet. Give attention to the baby , one reason why they are having tantrums its because they need an attention.
• United States
17 Apr 13
I think you have to be careful not to create a problem by thinking there is something psychologically wrong with your daughter. She may just be spoiled and wants to get her way and when she doesn't she throws a fit. Or, there may be something actually wrong. But it's too early to tell so just relax for now and try different methods to control her tantrums. Throwing herself on the floor and banging her head on the wall could be a safety problem. My first thought was to secure her in a play pen when this starts. You may have to pad the sides because i think there are metal bars if I remember correctly. This will keep her safe but it will also be a kind of time out since her movement is restricted. Eventually she may make the connection that mom puts me in the little box when I act out and this may condition her to stop so she doesn't have to go in the pen. I don't envy you :) good luck.
• Philippines
16 Apr 13
Hi CosmoOwl12,"ignoring her until she stops" is one good Behavior Management strategy. This, i foremost suggest. it's too early to tell if it's an inherited mental issue. More often than not, parents are the ones who cause the behavior. Sometimes, its because of what promised to them and we did not fulfill which causes the tantrums. sometimes, they have some need which we are not able to meet. sometimes too, they cannot really identify what they need and what they feel, and so goes the tantrums. We really should learn lots of strategies to learn and analyze the reason for such. and likewise, we should also learn some strategies of taming them. but not the point of spoiling them when they throw tantrums. :-)sunset