a mom siding one child and disowning the other.

@Angelpink (4022)
Philippines
April 24, 2013 10:35am CST
Friends , what can you say about a mother siding a child when siblings are fighting. Isn't it that mothers should never take sides if her children are fighting after all both coming from her womb ? How can a mother afford to favor only one child , disowning the other child ? When i heard this issue , my heart cries for this , i can relate with ! This situation hurts a child that for sure it will never be healed by time. What is in your mind there friends ?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@jaiho2009 (38988)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
That depends upon the situation my dear. I am also a mother and I know it is not easy to actually show that you are siding one of your children. Granting that the other one is wrong and the other one is clearly right- still it is not good to show in front of them that you are agreeing with the rightful. The best to do is to let them speak out their mind- let them fight (not physically) but let them explain both sides and later explain them who said the right thing and who did the wrong thing. And..let them say sorry to each other.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
Yes Jai ! It is so hurting when a mom sided a sibling in your front. Sad but there are really mom who did that ! It should not be because in there she created a wound for life . Moms should know how to listen and deal everything with impartiality.
@jaiho2009 (38988)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
I knew it, I have been there and it really hurts. That is why I am trying to avoid with my kids cause I don't want to hurt any of my kid (though some times it is unavoidable)
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
I know some parents tried best not to repeat same mistakes but sometimes unconsciously it happened , like what they said , " history repeats itself.
@mariaperalta (19088)
• Mexico
25 Apr 13
Very bad. Take a look at my post today about a mom I know. She gave her 4 kids to her mom and dad so she could go live with her boyfriend.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Hi ! So sad for that mom who don't have a dedication and commitment to motherhood ! Giving and leaving kids in lieu of her own happiness , a very irresponsible mother ! But a little compassion she got for her kids , she gave it to parents and din't leave them alone in their home or give them to other people.
• Mexico
25 Apr 13
I agree, our kids need 100% of us.. not 20%. Id never do this to my son ever. he comes first in my life.
• United States
24 Apr 13
I think that would be terrible for my mother to deal with. I would not want my mother to ever go through that with her six kids. we daughter while young and old and my mother would get us to stop.
• United Arab Emirates
24 Apr 13
It's very terrible indeed but have seen or heard a lot of this happen in families here around me. Where the mother is always protective of her last male child over any other child and vice-versa for the father, they rarely scold that favorite child of theirs.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Gifts , your mom is just very fair to all of you and that is what we kids expect from a mother.
@cherigucchi (9562)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
This is very unbecoming as a mother. We should not take sides when it comes to our kids because it will create a great impact and have a psychological effect on both children. We should make it a point to hear both sides and give equal treatments as much as possible. Whatever the situation may be, parents should always make their children feel loved and appreciated and not always highlighting their mistakes.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
Exactly friend ! To some mothers , it is so hard for them not to side the the apple of their eyes though mistakes is so vivid this don't matter anymore. Yes we'll be bringing this issue later in later and this will create a deep wound that won't heal anymore.
@Deepak2J (1182)
• India
26 Apr 13
Mom shouldn't be like that. Do you know why she did things like that ? How can be someone like this ?
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
Hi ! It is her choice to be like that ! We can't dictate her , maybe that is what was in her heart ! No choice for me but to respect that ! I believed a child must love and respect her mother no matter what. I believed in Karma.
• Indonesia
25 Apr 13
Yeah, it’s hurt the child who has been disowned. But usually no matter what, there’re parents who have this habit. They have one favorite child who theyt take side with. In some culture though, like my friend’s race. She often told me that she really sad because she always being the wrong one when she has the fight with her big brother. Now this favorite boy is very disrespectful towards their mother (since he’s so spoiled). But the mother always side with her favorite child (because the culture favoring man over woman). And when they are child, the big brother would allowed to eat first while she used to have a remainder which have been eaten by her brother. She still very bitter about it till this day. (She hates man now)
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
Hi ! I have observed that those who are the favorites are the one who turned to be the trouble maker of the family and he /she is the same person who is disrespectful to the mother. A favorite turns to be the black ship of the family. I can attest to this , it happened in our family , wherein younger brother is the favorite of mom and all good things were almost spoon feed by mom but this did not make him a better person but he turns out only to be a monster .So sad for this but mom have to suffer for the consequences . That is why if can be avoided , mom should not have any favoritism among her children, she should be impartial always.
@stanley777 (7257)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
I think it do happens, but we can say it's not a common occurrence. Filipinos being a closely knit family would love to stay together if possible either with parents or with their children especially with their grandchildren. This case is an exemption. But I can't imagine a parent would disown her child just to favor another child of her. Maybe, there's a reason behind her decision but whatever it is, I think it's not right.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Yes she maybe have a basis for doing it and whatever basis she got doesn't justify that she will side either of the kids. Kids emotions are very fragile , a mother must handle this with extreme care.
25 Apr 13
It seems to me that one of the children might be right. Take their side. Then if the other wants favoritism, they have learned it can be had by behaving correctly. If both are wrong, it's just noise. Hit them. If both arguments have merit, good luck.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Mothers must listen to both children , never take sides ! Teach whoever got wrong but do it in a cool soothing voice never shout to a child.
@NailTech (6884)
• United States
24 Apr 13
Just once I'd like to feel like someone's "favorite."
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
You are lucky because you are the favorite , you didn't experienced how it is to be not the favorite ! Keep loving your mom , they are priceless gift of God to you and me.
@airasheila (5456)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
A pleasant day Angelpink, I've been once in this situation wherein, I was the one being disowned and yet I was on the right tract. And yes, you read it right, my mom favorable give here side to my brother though he was wrong. And it was really painful, as I didn't know what to do then. Thus, during those times, all I did was to cry and asking why. But, I didn't receive any response neither an explanation from my mom. So, I have just accepted, that my mom has some favoritism and I can't break that. And, honestly, I still feel the pain even now especially if my mom was being disrespect by her favorite son. That even I as disowned, I still loved my mom and respect her.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Hi i am in same situation but what is good in me is that before i just keep quiet and enjoy the pain but now , pain is less because i come to voice out and i can tell straightly mom that what she was doing was not good and that she should not side any of us . This is not a sign of being disrespectful , it is a good also to teach mom what is right because sometimes they are unaware that what they are doing hurts us very much , they thought we are alright for it !
• United Arab Emirates
24 Apr 13
This isn't really an issue of disowning the other child. Most times in a family, both parents would always have their favorite kid, it could be anyone of those kids, though very rare for them to have same child as their favorite.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
Hi ! Disowning comes in picture when the situation is very worst already and it happened . I don't know what is in the heart of such mom when in fact womb are coming from her womb. Very true most mom are having their favorite , i am fine with that as long as they don't show it so obviously because if its so obvious the more it hurts and the more it build a gap. So unlucky me , i am not the favorite of mom but i learnt to accept it. We can't forced them to make us their favorite maybe they have some reasons or basis , let them the fact that they are the ones who gave birth then that is enough maybe for us to be grateful.